To Hell and Only Halfway Back
by whitebordeaux
Summary: Jane contemplates leaving the job but not until she puts one more murderer away. He just so happens to be her first.
1. Chapter 1

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 1

I don't own Rizzoli and Isles.

Jane Rizzoli arrived with just under fifteen minutes before the ceremony was to begin. She had never been prouder of her younger brother. Frankie had worked hard and proven he was a solid, capable officer with the Boston Police Department. Now he was about to take the next step in his career and it was important that his sister, his mentor was present. For just a few proud, peaceful moments, Jane had been able to block out the stress, the pressure, the grief that was all in a days work for her. Frankie had shown her his exam and he nearly killed it. Frankie Rizzoli had passed the detective's exam and wanted, no needed, his big sister to be proud of him. And she was, maybe even prouder than their parents as she held him in a tight Rizzoli bear hug.

It seemed like forever ago, her birthday, her birthday party. Her and Maura's near brush with death at the hands of her own personal boogie man. It really wasn't that long ago, but life had moved forward for most.

The joy of spending the evening with her family and friends barely existed in her mind anymore, unlike the horrors that still filled her dreams each night. The sound of him as he threatened her, the feel of the scalpel against her neck, the look of accomplishment in his eyes. He was proud of himself, proud that he would win against her this time. He didn't win, not in the way he had hoped anyway. Jane cursed out loud as she usually did when she admitted to herself that he did win, despite her actions. She had killed him, somehow she had managed to kill him. She was defenseless, just waiting for him to claim his prize, his victory. It wasn't until he moved on to Maura that she found the fight in her once again. She knew all too well Hoyt's M. O. Killing Maura in front of Jane was what he intended to do, making his victory all that much sweeter.

Jane jumped at the sound of the locker room door slamming closed behind her. "Looking sharp, partner."

"Thanks." Jane tried to control the rapid beating of her heart. Get a grip, Rizzoli, it was a door for Christ's sake. "I hate wearing blues. Makes me look like a man."

Frost looked her up and down, making a point to turn his body slightly to look at her ass. "Nah, not a man. A damn good cop though."

"What do you want, Frost?" Jane had to smile at his comment.

"Frankie's nervous, been asking about you." Frost looked in the mirror to straighten his own tie. "You know, I swore I'd never go back into uniform, but it feels good."

"Yeah it does. Sometimes it does, Frost." Jane was proud of her partner. He had come a long way over their short partnership. She trusted him and she knew he trusted her. Jane stared at him though the mirror until he took notice.

"You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Just feeling a little off." Jane shook it off and straighten her already straight tie as well. "It's Frankie's big day, he deserves it."

"I'll meet you out there." Frost lightly touched her shoulder as he made his way past her and out of the locker room.

Jane returned her attention to the mirror. She reached for her uniform cap. She took the few minutes to position it squarely on her head, mindful of the mini obstruction that was her hair. She had it up in a tight bun to fit snugly under the uniform cap. She returned her focus to the mirror, letting herself block out the noise and commotion that seemed to be taking place just outside the locker room doors.

She sighed as she could see herself as she'd been well over a decade ago. She was so brand new, just out of the academy and ready to make a difference. She was green as spring, proud of her badge, prouder of her gun. She would make a difference, that was a promise she had made…back then.

She was a cop then and still now. Never had any hesitation over what she was meant to be, what she had to be. It was in her, somehow she had always known. The fact that her little brother wanted to follow in her footsteps scared her. It scared her enough to risk killing his dreams. She would never do that to him, she loved him too much, but this world scared her and she was often scared for him.

Jane sighed out loud, adjusting the perfectly fitted cap once again. She thought she knew what lie ahead of her when she proudly marched across that stage as a new graduate. She thought she had known, but she didn't. She couldn't possibly have guessed what she would see and do, what she would learn and accept. She had no idea as such a young woman what she would live through and then live with. She would never have guessed she would be ready, so early in her career, to turn in the badge, the gun, the responsibility.

She had stopped Hoyt, she had killed him herself, but there was no victory in it as she had hoped. He remained in her head and as a result crowded her purpose, her mission to make a difference. She had had enough and it was becoming more and more evident in her approach to the job each day.

"I don't know if they'll hold the ceremony for you, but I could ask…if you'd like." Maura's voice was never startling to Jane, despite the fact she hadn't heard her enter. Jane stared in the mirror at herself a moment more before focusing her eyes on the form of her close friend standing at an angle behind her.

"I've had enough, Maur." Jane's voice was always a bit huskier when she was confused, upset, or scared. Maura recognized this instantly, not needing to question her statement at all. She knew Jane had been struggling with the aftermath of the situation with Hoyt. It wasn't her place to agree or disagree with Jane's declaration. Maura had never been so worried, so terrified, so proud of Detective Jane Rizzoli as she was that day in the jail infirmary.

Jane turned to face the nicely dressed medical examiner. Jane had to laugh a little at the fact that Maura always looked nice. "You look nice."

"Why thank you, Detective. You look…"

"Like a man." Jane interrupted causing Maura to smile. "It's for Frankie though. Ready?"

Jane and Maura filed in, taking the seats that were saved for them by Korsak and Frost. Jane let her mother squeeze her hand as she settled into the chair next to her. "I'm so proud of him." Angela Rizzoli loved her children and it wasn't too long ago she was scared to death of losing them two of them. It was a fear she fought with everyday, but sometimes reality ignited the fire.

Not today though. Today was for her son and today she wouldn't worry. Angela knew he would protest when she hugged and kissed him, but that's what moms did when they were proud of their children. He'd just have to accept it, for tomorrow the worrying would resume.

Jane chanced a glance over at Maura as the ceremony began. It was only seconds before she tuned out the voices of their lieutenant, instead replaying in her mind how desperate she was when Frankie had been shot at the precinct last year. She was so scared for him and she had begged Maura to help him; to save him.

If Maura knew Jane was looking at her, she was successfully ignoring her. Instead her attention was on the activity ahead of them. Jane was so thankful for Maura. She had managed to save Frankie, at least long enough to get him to the hospital. Frankie was walking across the stage now, his eyes searched and found Jane's just before shaking hands with the lieutenant. He took his certificate with a smile, accepted the congratulations and just as quickly returned to his seat on stage. He would soon be a full fledged detective and he deserved the recognition he was receiving. Jane wondered if he would stay with the homicide division or maybe try the major case squad. Maybe narcotics.

Jane had left the Dirty Robber earlier than she would have liked. Frankie had protested, but understood as he was able to take in the fatigue in her features. "See look at that , already intuitive." Jane's little joke was not lost on her brother as he hugged her goodnight.

It had been a long day, a good day, but long nonetheless. It had been a long week as well. She had worked a homicide that should've been by all appearances an open and shut case. It was anything but and it had taken it's toll mentally as well as physically on them all. Jane acknowledged Joe Friday when she entered her apartment. She envied her dog, wishing she could have the same disposition every day. Jane was an intense soul and that so often served as a poison.

Jane contemplated turning off her phone as she crawled into her bed. It was not really an option, not in her position. She wished she could sleep a full night without waking up in a full sweat, scared of her own breathing. She hoped she was physically exhausted enough for her mind to comply with her body and let her sleep soundly.

Jane's body came off the bed a good three inches at the ringing of her cell. It had stopped ringing only to start again by the time she had reached for it.

"Rizzoli!" She didn't care if she sounded aggravated. This better be good. She glanced at her night side table trying to focus in on the digital numbers that told her it was just after three in the morning.

Jane slammed her phone closed, cursing under her breath. Another murder, another case. It took longer to get moving, longer to get dressed, longer to get out of the apartment. She showed her badge to the uniforms blocking the entrance to the small wood framed house just inside the city limits. Jane briefly took in the relative seclusion of the out of the way residence as she entered.

"What do we have?" Jane was immediately met by her partner with Korsak not far behind.

"Female. Late thirties. No signs of sexual assault." Frost was quick with the known information.

"Cause of death?" Jane struggled to get her mind into the right investigating mode.

"Asphyxiation. Very minimal damage other than bruising around her neck and throat." Korsak looked to be just as tired as Jane. She gave him a sympathetic look knowing the effect Hoyt had on him as well.

"Anybody call Maura?" Jane looked around at the upturned furniture in the small living area. She kept her eyes away from the victim, waiting as long as possible before she would have to look at another victim, another case, another number.

"She's on the way." Frost mumbled before turning to approach the victim again. Jane watched him wondering if she were ever that ambitious; she knew she was.

Jane turned at the sound of Maura's voice as she identified herself to the officers positioned outside. She made her way in glancing at Jane in an entirely professional manner. It had been a struggle to get back to the day to day after Hoyt had attacked them both. Jane appreciated the attempt, but she could tell Maura was reading her.

Jane followed behind the medical examiner as she prepared to access the victim. "Looks to be open/close, right?" Jane almost laughed at her own words as she knew that was so often not the case. She watched Maura with curiosity as she started to stay something and then stopped.

"Was there a struggle." Maura asked knowing there was as she had to maneuver her way around furniture to get to the woman she was examining.

"Yeah, why. What?" Jane allowed herself closer to the victim as she bent down next to Maura.

"Her clothes are neatly tucked. Her shirt is perfectly positioned inside her skirt. Her necklace is even carefully turned as if to position it. The charm at least would be off to the right or left given her position now." Maura looked at Jane before slowly beginning to pull the shirt from the skirt.

Jane's eyes widened as Maura reached for the thick piece of cloth that was carefully placed just above the victim's right hipbone. Maura gasped slightly as she forced her eyes toward Jane again.

"Son of a bitch." Jane's voice was especially deep as her tone stayed low. "Korsak!"

"Jane, what is it?" Maura lifted her eyes to follow Jane as she stood to her full height. Maura looked back to the victim. She studied the engraving that had been done to the woman. The letters and number in a heart had covered an area just blow the ribs and just above the hip bone. It was precise and done by a skilled hand, this much was evident to Maura.

Korsak looked from Jane down to the victim. He repeated Jane's slur as he stared at the inscription on the woman's body.

"Maura, was that done before of after death?" Jane's voice was hesitant causing Maura to realize this would not be the open/close case Jane had hoped for.

"Before. Jane what does it mean?" Maura looked at Korsak now, realizing Jane probably wasn't going to fill her in, not just yet anyway.

"It means Duncan McFadden." Korsak turned toward Jane, grabbing her by the arms to face him.

"What does 'J R 1" mean? Jane talk to me." Maura caught the look Jane had shared with Korsak before she forced herself to crouch back down to examine the message more carefully.

"It's a message, Maura." Jane spoke without looking up. "For me. She's victim number one."

A/N: For those of you who have been following "Cold Summer Heat", I haven't given up on that one just yet. Your comments and reviews have been very helpful and encouraging and I thank you for that. I wanted to try another before the idea escaped me, so let me know how it goes. Reviews not only make a writer's day, they are often very helpful as well. So, I thank you in advance.


	2. Chapter 2

To Hell and Halfway Back Chapter 2

I don't own R and I.

Jane could feel the night air as it bit at her skin. It was a.m. hours, but too early too be morning and for some reason this bothered her. The night darkness suddenly seemed more ominous and almost challenging as she quickly made her way to her car. She wouldn't go anywhere, not just yet, just needed some space to put things into perspective. She sat down on the hood of the car allowing her body to relax into itself, just enough to regulate her breathing. She sensed Korsak approaching, but kept her eyes focused on nothing just in front of her on the ground.

"Could be a copycat." Korsak didn't believe his theory anymore than Jane did.

"It's him, it's his work." Jane mumbled the words not caring if she was heard or not. "Is Frost…"

"I've already got him checking on McFadden's status." Korsak interrupted Jane's line of thinking.

"It's him, I know it. I feel it." Jane pushed off the car, standing tall against the fear, anger and pure disgust that this man's name alone conjured up.

"McFadden got life. He did have two boys; one's a junior." Korsak again didn't believe what he was suggesting, but he didn't want to go back twelve years earlier anymore than Jane did. "Remember his signature was his initials and the number of the victim."

"So, you think this is his son? You think his son is taking up where daddy left off and the letters J. R. are just coincidental?" Jane agreed the theory was plausible, but she wasn't feeling it. She had learned over the years that her most effective weapon was her gut; cop instincts.

"I'm saying it's possible." Korsak watched as Jane's eyes followed Maura as she followed the now covered body out into the night air. "Come on, Jane. Let's get in there."

Maura's expression stopped Jane from following Korsak back into the house. "What is it?"

"Jane, I read about Duncan McFadden. He wasn't a murderer. All of his victims were alive when found." Maura's unasked question had been in the front of Jane's mind since she saw the signature.

"If this is him, he is now." Maura recognized Jane's tone and knew that her friend was in totally cop mode now, doing what she did best. She watched her slowly enter the house, lacking the usual Rizzoli swagger that Jane often walked with when she was ready to get down to business.

Maura watched Jane carefully as she looked over the inscription left on the thiry-five year old victim. The autopsy was complete, but Jane wanted to get another good look at the infamous signature. It was indeed McFadden's work as it was revealed he had managed to escape when the prison transfer bus he was in had been involved in a late night accident. It had happened twenty-four hours prior to what they now knew to be his first murder; tenth victim. Eleventh if Jane was included in the count.

The tension and exhaustion was clearly displayed in Jane's posture as she made her way up to the squad room and to her desk. She caught her head in her hands as her body dropped into her chair. She was tired, but she knew no amount of sleep would alleviate the unsettling that had consumed her entire body. She repositioned her self to lean back in her chair as Maura had pulled up a chair to her desk. Jane stared at her friend, wondering why she felt so lucky to know her. Maura had been her rock over the last year and she doubted the medical examiner knew just what her role was here with the Boston Homicide detectives.

"It was Korsak's case. Not mine, I was in uniform, bucking for detective." Maura nodded as she knew Jane would need to talk it out eventually. She sat patiently as Jane offered long pauses between her sentences. She wasn't searching her memory for these are the cases where you don't forget any details.

"I can't believe it took so long for prison officials to notify us of the accident and escape." Jane glanced over at Korsak who was engrossed in files; no doubt McFadden's.

"Jane?" Maura's voice brought Jane back to her story. Maura wasn't sure she wanted to hear the details, but knew she needed to if she wanted to be there for Jane.

"Nine women and girls had been abducted over the span of one year. Each one found, alive, just after another was reported missing." Jane looked into Maura's eyes briefly before lowering her gaze back down to her hands. "Each one had the same branding as our victim tonight. Only the letters were D. M. and they each had their respective numbers."

Maura again waited while Jane fleshed out her thoughts. "My partner and I were called to the scene of yet another abduction. This one a child. We were in the area, night shift." Jane rolled her eyes at the thought of having to pull the graveyard shift as part of her rotation.

Frost pulled up a chair next to Maura. Jane contemplated whether or not to share the details, but knew Frost was good for it. He needed to be armed with as much information as possible and Jane held that weapon for him.

"We immediately linked the abduction as part of the investigation. We handed it over to the detectives investigating, which included Korsak." Jane motioned with her head back toward Korsak who didn't seem interested in joining the group.

Jane returned her attention to her small audience, but Maura noticed she abruptly changed gears. It was if Jane was no longer talking to her, but to Frost.

"The search will be for somebody running or hiding. McFadden won't be hiding. He's deliberate in what he does, what he's doing. He's confident and secure. He doesn't make mistakes."

"No doubt he did, though." Frost had learned of Jane's involvement in the apprehension of Duncan McFadden twelve years ago. He had learned that despite her inexperience at the time, she had managed to stop him, arrest him and end the terror on the city.

Jane seemed to ignore Frost's remark, but Maura knew she had heard him. She fielded Jane's glare as she continued. "Payback is a distraction. It adds an element of risk that wasn't in the mix before. His strategy is now determined by me; if I am indeed the intended target."

Jane looked from Frost to Maura and back to Frost. "Those initials weren't a coincidence, Barry."

Frost nodded, leaving his seat and returning to his own desk. "Jane what happened?" Maura prodded feeling she needed to know the reasons for Jane's demeanor on this case.

"We were assigned to door to door interviews, talking to anyone and everyone who was in or around the area at the time of the reported abduction. We were directed to a small duplex not far from the missing girl's home. Detectives were alerted, but all hands were on deck and we were still short-handed it seemed. Korsak was lead and delegated Williams and I to follow up on the lead." Jane smiled briefly as a thought interrupted her story.

Maura expression showed curiosity so Jane shared. "I had studied and felt I was more than ready for detective. Just waiting, you know, to take the test; to prove I was ready. Kind of like Frankie." Jane smiled at the thought, but it was quickly replaced with a serious glare. "Little did I know how not ready I was."

Jane cleared her throat after looking around at the detectives and officers milling around the squad room. "We followed up like instructed and knocked on the door, noises coming from the house had me jumpy. Rookie thing I guess." Another long pause, Maura didn't mind.

"We were greeted by who we came to learn was McFadden. He was pleasant, polite and otherwise charming. He looked nothing like I had pictured; he was good looking Maura. Almost like a movie star or something."

Maura smiled despite the turmoil she knew Jane was feeling.

"We asked if we could come in and ask him a few questions and he refused at first, but after a little coaxing stood aside as Williams and I entered the house. There was a noise from the bedroom and McFadden grew nervous. This of course made us nervous and Williams went to check out the source. I kept my eyes on McFadden who claimed his cat was clumsy and he was sure that was the source of the noise."

Maura knew Jane's story was about to get ugly as she braced for what she knew she would regret hearing.

"Williams called for me, and the sound of his voice made my heart start to race." Jane placed her hand against her chest telling Maura that Jane was feeling the whole experience simply by recalling it.

"I grabbed for my gun, but was on the floor before I new what hit me. I heard a gunshot and Williams scream. We didn't know McFadden had a gun, we didn't search him either. Everything happened so fast." Jane paused as her eyes glassed over.

"Williams had been shot in the leg and had hit his head on the way down. I thought he was dead, but I couldn't get to him before McFadden had me pinned. I couldn't move and the next thing I knew I was waking up to severe pain." Jane blew out a long breath, and Maura wondered if she would continue.

"I reacted out of fear, I guess. I head butted him and was able to get away long enough to get to his gun. I had no idea where mine was but I was able to get his and I cuffed him." Jane fought against the tears that threatened, she hated appearing weak and Maura knew this.

"Williams?" Maura knew Williams had survived because he was the desk clerk now downstairs. She just wanted to lighten things up a bit.

"He's okay." Jane realized Maura knew and she laughed slightly. Jane was always giving Williams shit for riding the info desk, but they both knew what the had managed to accomplish as a team that day.

"The missing girl was there in that apartment, but it was too late. D.M. 9 was engraved into her skin." Jane's voice dropped in volume and tone as she recalled finding the semi-conscious girl. She stood, motioning for Maura to follow her into the locker room.

"What wrong, Jane?" Maura found herself worrying about Jane more and more since she shot herself last year. She rarely complained, but Maura could tell she still felt the effects of that terrible day.

"Maura I know he is looking to get revenge. Cavanaugh will pull me from the case, eventually." Maura watched as Jane began to pull he shirt from her pants. She stopped briefly staring at Maura. "I'm not just the one who stopped him, I was the one that got away."

Jane took a deep breath. She lifted her shirt and lowered her pants enough to reveal the letter D that was scarred into her body. Just above her right hipbone. Maura's eyes took in the Jane's perfectly toned abdomen with alarm. She had seen the wound from her gunshot as it healed, but never had she noticed the scarring that lie directly underneath it.

"I was supposed to be D.M. 10." Jane's voice was deep causing Maura to look up to meet her eyes. "He didn't kill any of them, Maura. He probably wouldn't have killed me that day either. Not his M.0. But he killed this one. She's 1."

Maura's heart jumped at she now knew the extent that Jane would go to in order to put this maniac away; again.


	3. Chapter 3

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 3

I don't own R and I.

Maura watched as Jane redressed and noticed how she distractedly adjusted her gun on her hip more than was needed. Jane was deep in thought as she nervously paced a bit in the locker room. She wrung her hands together continuously as she made several laps around the room.

"Jane, how about let's go get some breakfast." Maura hated seeing her so stressed and had hoped the distraction of food would be enough to calm her, at least some. She needed to eat anyway.

Jane heard Maura, but barely. Her thoughts were so consumed with Duncan McFadden. She was afraid, but not for herself. He had managed to abduct and torture with so much ease before he was taken down. Now, he was starting a new game and he would play to win. Jane knew he wanted her, but she also knew he would enjoy watching her spin awhile. He wouldn't make a mistake and Jane knew it was just pure luck that he had so many years ago. Her mind let her feel the scalpel as it pierced her skin, she could taste the fear once she had come to, see the devil when she opened her eyes. It wasn't training that had saved her, it was straight up fear. Now she was afraid again. Her hands didn't ache any longer, they hurt. Hoyt was a different kind of monster than McFadden. She knew that, but the fear that was eating away at her was very much the same.

Jane smiled at Maura trying to disguise the nerves, the frustration and the fatigue that all threatened to disable her without any advanced warning. She was a seasoned detective, yet she was letting a case she stumbled on while in uniform unnerve her. "I've got to go. You'll be okay?"

"I've got plenty to do today. Jane…I'm sorry." Maura knew what Jane had shown her would be an image she would struggle to replace.

Jane smiled again, but her smile didn't come close to reaching her eyes. She made her way back out to the squad room where Korsak was milling around by her desk. "Ready?"

"Yeah, I'm ready." Korsak was using a tone that Jane rarely heard over the years. This was just as personal to him and Jane respected that. It was evident in the silent communication between the two former partners.

Korsak was younger then, of course and solid enough to be leading such a high profile case. It wouldn't be for another year that he would be partnered with Jane, but he had come to know her courtesy of McFadden. He had heard the calls over the radio; Jane was calling for help. Her partner had been shot and the suspect was in custody. Korsak remembered how clear and controlled the officer's voice was over the radio. It was what he saw when he entered the house that told him just how controlled that officer was. Jane was bleeding from her abdomen, her head was bleeding and swelling fast and she refused to look at the suspect she had just apprehended. Jane had motioned for him to tend to her partner as she held the semi-conscious victim in her arms. Korsak was immediately taken with Jane and knew she was well on her way to being the hard as nails detective she was today.

He followed her out to their vehicle. Jane poured herself into the passenger seat and waiting until Korsak was ready to drive before speaking. "How many do you think he'll do this time?"

"My guess is however many it takes until he gets to you." Vince Korsak hated seeing who he would always refer to as his partner threatened in any way.

"No. He has a number in mind. He has a plan. Had twelve years to figure it out." Jane leaned her head back against the headrest.

"Well, you've had twelve years to get better and you were pretty damned good then, Rizzoli."

"I'm not so sure about that." Jane tried to ignore the scar she had lived with since she had first met McFadden. She had managed to put the case behind her for the most part, now it was all she could think about.

The echoing sound of the doors slamming always made Jane jump. They had waited for Anthony Critelli to be brought to them and Jane was convinced on seeing him that he knew at least something. He had been McFadden's cellmate for the past five years and his eyes lit up when he made contact with Jane.

"Wow, in the flesh. Detective Jane Rizzoli. Feel like I know so much about you." Critelli was anxious to talk and Jane picked up on this immediately. He would probably want a deal.

"Well, I don't know anything about you, except that you were Duncan McFadden's cellie for the past five years." Jane forced her features to harden as she followed Critelli's slight movements with her eyes.

"Five years, three months, two days. In here every day is counted." Critelli's smile unnerved Jane as she shifted in her chair uncomfortably.

"My guess is you know his game plan." Jane was trying to feel out the older man, but his expressions changed constantly. Jane knew it was an attempt to confuse her, and it was working.

"My guess is so do you, Detective." Critelli wasn't smiling now and that alone encouraged Jane.

"If I did, I wouldn't be wasting my time here." Jane stood watching Korsak push Critelli back down as he attempted to do the same.

"D didn't like to lose. We played cards a lot. Boredom is a huge irritant in here." Critelli winked at Jane as he let his eyes travel the length of her body. "He would almost always win, always had some kind of fucked up strategy. But sometimes, he'd lose. He didn't like that at all."

Jane followed Critelli's trail, but was quickly growing impatient. "What's the number? What number am I?" Jane forced her voice to stay hard, but Korsak looked up when he heard otherwise.

"He wouldn't reveal his strategy, even when the game was over. You want to know, sweetheart, you'll have to ask him." Critelli continued to take Jane in with his eyes.

"I'm done here." Jane looked up at Korsak.

"I'm not…not just yet." Critelli was working at committing Jane's form to memory and the thought of what he was doing was enough to turn Jane's stomach. "What about my deal?"

And there it is. "No info, no deal." Jane was headed for the door when the tone in Critelli's voice brought her back.

"What if Duncan wasn't involved?"

"We know it's him." Jane was irritated and let it show.

"You think you do. All you cops are the same, think you know so much." Critelli watched as Jane slowly lowered herself back into her chair.

"Talk." Korsak released his hold on Critelli's shoulder, but stayed close.

"Deal?" Critelli resumed his perusal of Jane's body.

"Maybe." Jane's voice was deep, bothered and Critelli picked up on this.

"Duncan has two sons." Critelli paused for effect. "Twins. One's right handed and one's a lefty."

"Are you saying the sons are involved?" Jane thought back to the J.R. that was carved into their latest victim.

"I'm saying it's a possibility. Say, aren't you a lefty, Detective?" Critelli smiled again at Jane causing her to abandon the attempt.

"Now, I'm done." Jane once again headed for the door.

"What about my deal?"

"No deal." Jane pushed past the guards as they prepared to escort Anthony Critelli back to his cell.

Jane welcomed the fresh air that invaded her constricting lungs. Her instincts told her it was Duncan McFadden, but nothing was coincidental with him. It was always planned and precise. So much of the evidence supported the theory that it could've been one of McFadden's sons.

"It's McFadden." Korsak was all but reading her mind as they buckled up for the ride back to the city.

"I know." Jane believed it was, but she had to know for sure. "I think we pay both juniors a visit."

"Rizzoli." Jane's phone caused her to startle and she silently cursed herself for being unsettled.

Jane looked at Korsak for a long moment after closing her phone. "What?"

"Missing person notification just came in. Young girl, twelve."

"Related?" Korsak knew it was.

"Don't know, maybe." Jane's voice had that familiar controlled tone causing Korsak to pull off to the side of the road. "McFadden's body was found two miles from the accident site. Korsak, he's dead."

"Are they sure it's him?" Korsak hated to be skeptical, but that was supposed to be his nature.

"They have positively identified him. If this is correct, he couldn't possibly have killed that woman or taken this girl. Maybe Critelli was telling us that all along." Jane was anxious to get back to Maura. She needed some clarity right now and she knew Maura would be able to give her the answer she needed.

Maura wasn't in her office when Jane arrived. That wasn't unusual as she was so often in the lab. Maura was relieved to see Jane and motioned her in.

"Maur, I need you to check something out for me." Jane was slightly out of breath which left Maura to wonder what had transpired over the last few hours. "Can you tell if the cuts on last night's victim are from a left or right handed person?"

"I don't know, Jane. It would only be a guess as there is no way to be…"

"Maura, please." Jane understood Maura's need to be exact and how important that was to what she did. "Your guess would be enough right now, I need to know."

Maura made her way over to the woman and uncovered just the area in question. She studied the engraving closely. Jane could tell Maura was frustrated at not being able to give exacts reasons for her educated guess.

Jane watched carefully as Maura studied the markings. "My guess is this was done by a right hander."

"Okay, what about mine?" Jane lifted her shirt. Maura removed her gloves and pulled up a chair to be at a better level to examine the scar on Jane's abdomen. Maura pulled her hands from Jane at the sharp intake of breath.

"Sorry." Maura glanced up at Jane noticing her eyes closed as she seemed to brace for the contact.

"It's okay. Your hands are cold." Jane lowered her pants just enough for Maura to get a good look.

Maura stood after a few minutes to face Jane. Jane re-fastened her pants and tucked her shirt in without breaking eye contact.

"Jane, yours was done by a left hander."

Jane blew out a long breath. "McFadden was found dead not far from the crash site. We think it's one of the sons."

"So, J.R. could mean he's signing his own signature?" Maura watched Jane as she seemed lost in her own thoughts.

"Yeah, it could." Jane would go with that theory, although her gut told her no. She was so sure this last victim was McFadden's that she couldn't help but wonder just how compromised her instincts were now.

"If that's the case, then it's game on. Round two. Only this one murders his victims." Jane slammed out of the lab, anger being the only emotion she would allow to show.


	4. Chapter 4

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 4

I don't own R and I.

Jane had pulled every case file there was on Duncan McFadden from the basement. She wasn't involved with the initial investigation, but she had known the in and outs of it nonetheless. She read up on each victim; physical description, age, injuries and of course the infamous brandings. There were nine of them, nine women who had a permanent reminder of their personal hell at the hands of Duncan McFadden. They were all beaten, a few even raped, but none were killed. Until last night.

Jane wrung her hands together as she read, unaware of her actions or Maura as she approached her desk.

"Hands hurt?" Jane looked up hopeful Maura had something useful for her.

"No…not really." Jane didn't want to lie to Maura, but it didn't matter if her hands were on fire at this point. "Got something?"

"Jane, I don't like to guess. What if I'm wrong, I don't have anything substantial to base my opinions on."

"Don't worry about it. It's just a hunch, I won't hold you to it." Jane loved how thorough Maura was with everything. "I'm just having a hard time believing this isn't McFadden."

"You said they found him dead, right?" Maura loved it when Jane bounced ideas off of her, but she knew Jane's mind worked fast and before long she'd grow frustrated with her.

"Yeah, Korsak's checking into that. This is from the same prison authorities that failed to notify anybody of the accident or escape for over twenty-four hours." Jane pulled out the picture of the current missing girl and studied it carefully. "There's no pattern amongst the victims from then or now. They all seem to be random grabs."

"If there's a connection, you'll find it." Maura stood as Korsak approached the two women. "Call me if you need me."

Korsak replaced Maura as he took a seat across from Jane. He studied Jane silently as she studied the picture. "I don't know, Vince. My gut says it's McFadden."

"Might be. He's not dead." Korsak braced for Jane's reaction, surprised and relieved that there wasn't much of one. "The crash was an intentional accident."

"He planned this, had outside help and resumed his activity. Only now he's escalated to killing his vics." Jane reached in her top desk drawer and pulled out a ponytail holder. She quickly pulled her hair up before grabbing her jacket off the back of her chair.

"I want to talk to his sons." Korsak stood when Jane did.

"Just one." Frost had made his way over to the two senior detectives. "Duncan McFadden Jr. died two years ago; car accident. He was a senior at BCU."

"Okay, the good twin. What about the evil twin?" Jane could see how this was playing out and was not liking it at all.

"Dylan McFadden, lives in the area. Not on record as far as visiting his father the whole twelve years he was incarcerated." Frost was good at what he did, so was Jane. And so was Duncan McFadden."

"Let's go pay Dylan a visit." Jane knew McFadden would control the pace of this investigation. She didn't believe he'd stretch it out over a year this time. He'd been forced to be idle for a long time, her instincts told her he'd want to make up for lost time. She feared he'd stay a step ahead of them and he was already doing just that.

Jane knocked on the door before glancing at Frost and Korsak, both who had assumed their positions on either side of her. She was about to knock again when the door opened, displaying a ruggedly handsome man who smiled immediately at Jane. "I'd was beginning to think you'd never show up, Detective."

Dylan McFadden's cool persona unnerved Jane immediately. Her shift in posture alerted her partners to her uneasiness. "So, you were expecting us?" Jane looked past Dylan as she spoke hoping to get a glimpse into the house.

"Come on, Detective. It's kind of a no-brainer, wouldn't you say?" Dylan smiled again moving slightly to block Jane's view into his house.

"May we come in, Mr. McFadden. We would like to ask you a few questions." Jane sensed the young man's nervousness, which only caused her own anxiety to build.

"Now's not really a good time. How about a little later and how about you come back by yourself." Dylan let his eyes roam her body. She was getting highly irritated with this motion today. She knew it was an attempt to distract, unnerve and humiliate her and worked to keep her glare hard as she took a step forward.

"I think now's a great time and I think you'll love the company I brought." Frost pushed past Dylan as Korsak and Jane immediately followed.

"You can't come in my home without my permission. I will have all of your badges." Dylan's flirting was instantly replaced with spiteful anger.

"Sure we can, probable cause." Jane looked around the living room, noticing a signed red sox baseball on the mantle. "Wow, is this from the world series last year?"

"Yes. It's worth too much for you to be playing with it." Dylan was angry and his charming boy next door looks were quickly changing to dark and ominous.

"Oh, sorry." Jane tossed the ball quickly to him watching him instantly grab at it with his right hand. Jane knew it wasn't a sure fire way to tell, but her guess was Dylan McFadden was right handed. It wasn't even close to being enough to take him in for questioning, but watching him react right handed was enough to support her hunch.

She heard a noise coming from the upstairs bedroom. Instead of turning towards the noise, she kept her eyes on McFadden. She was experiencing serious dejavu as Frost and Korsak made their way to the stairs. When he took a step toward the stairs, Jane pulled her gun. "Who's here, Dylan?"

"Nobody." Dylan continued to inch his way towards the stairs despite Jane's threatening position.

"Don't move!" Jane yelled at Dylan as she heard Frost hollering from upstairs. She heard glass breaking and then a gunshot. Her mind was immediately flooded with the memory of her partner being shot and McFadden turning on her. "Korsak!"

Dylan had his hands up over his head as he watched Jane struggle to keep her composure. "I wonder what's going on up there?" The boyish smile was back.

"Turn around, McFadden." Jane ordered in a nervous voice that she cursed herself for. "Korsak!"

"Am I under arrest?" Dylan used his best innocent child's voice.

"Turn around." Jane's voice was solid this time as she caught motion on the stairs out of the corner of her eye.

Dylan seized the moment and took advantage of Jane's brief distracted moment, slamming his head back into Jane's face as she began to cuff him. Jane's eyes teared up instantly as the back of Dylan's head collided with her nose. She stumbled backwards, losing control of her gun in the process. She fought to gain control of her emotions as she quickly realized she was going to have to fight this man without a weapon.

Dylan was young and in shape and oh so fast. He lunged for her, plowing into her with his entire weight. The impact had forced her onto her back as Dylan was instantly hovering above her.

"Rizzoli!" Korsak's voice sounded so far away. Dylan looked up giving Jane the opening she needed. She brought her fist down on the top of his nose, causing him to grab his face with both hands. She then was able to flip their positions and had him on his stomach in a matter of seconds. She used her shoulder to swipe at the blood that was pouring from her nose as she reached for her cuffs.

"Dylan McFadden, you are under arrest for assault on a police officer." Jane looked up at Korsak who held a traumatized child in his arms. "And the kidnapping of Emily Rogue."

"Jane, it was McFadden. He's gone." Frost was out of breath from giving chase to no avail.

Jane pulled Dylan to his feet. Korsak had called for backup and Jane could hear the sirens getting closer. Frost took hold of the younger McFadden as Jane crossed the room toward Korsak and Emily. "Emily? My name is Jane, can you talk to me?"

Jane looked at Korsak who gently placed Emily on the ground. She was nearly unconscious, not responding to Jane or Korsak. Jane smoothed the little girl's hair back away from her face. She tried to keep herself from checking, it was better right now not to know. She failed as she carefully reached down, pulling the little girls shirt up. They were too late, McFadden was still one step ahead of them. Jane shook her head as she stood to walk away from the little victim.

Korsak guided the medics over to Emily as Jane crouched against the far wall watching them tend to the child. Her heart refused to slow down and her breathing was even more labored now that she couldn't breathe through her nose. She had looked quickly, hoping they had gotten to Emily in time; they hadn't. J.R. 2 was perfectly branded into the little girl's body, right above the right hipbone.

"Detective Rizzoli! You will always lose, you know." Dylan hollered at Jane as he was led out of his house by two uniformed officers. Jane forced herself to her feet, refusing to move until Emily was taken out by the paramedics on a stretcher.

"We got to her in time." Frost tried to get Jane to snap out of the fog she seemingly had fallen into.

"Yeah, she's alive, but we were too late. She's marked and he's still out there." Jane headed out of the house herself then and made her way over to their car.

"Go get checked out, Jane. I'll wrap this up." Korsak nodded toward Frost telling him to accompany Jane back to the precinct. Jane looked up at her the older detective. He was frustrated, he was angry. McFadden had been a pain in his ass for over a year twelve years ago. Now he was doing it again. Yeah, he was pissed and Jane could see it.

Jane knew how anger clouded everything and she struggled to keep her temper in check as she climbed in beside Frost. She hoped Korsak would be able to do the same. She rested her head against the headrest as the trip back to the precinct was quick. Jane wanted to avoid the media. They had found the abducted child and she was alive. Jane wasn't sure what her injuries were, if she even had any other than the signature. Her parents would have their little girl home alive so it was a victory. Dylan McFadden was in custody, eliminating that particular threat. A second victory in a winless war.

She made her way into the locker room, thankful it was empty. She quickly changed her shirt and headed into the women's restroom. She looked at herself in the mirror for a long few moments. Blood was smeared on her face and her eyes were beginning to darken. "Son of a bitch." Jane grumbled as she knew her nose was broke once again.

"I heard you found her, thank God." Jane hadn't heard the door open, but Maura's voice never startled or upset her.

Jane turned to face her friend and Maura immediately looked past her blatant injury into her troubled eyes instead. "It's definitely him, isn't it?"

"He was there, that's the only definite I have. He got away." Jane stood straight given Maura the unspoken permission to fix her nose again..

Maura shook her head as she approached Jane. "You're going to have some extensive bruising with his one."

"Figures. Can you please just fix it?" Jane's tone was without emotion and this made Maura nervous.

"This will hurt." Maura raised her hands to Jane's face.

"What doesn't hurt? Shit!" Jane pulled away from Maura as she quickly set Jane's nose back into place.

"I warned you." Maura laughed just a little at Jane's reaction. It was always the same reaction. "Eventually, I won't be abe to fix your nose, you know that right?"

"You say that every time." Jane took a deep breath through her mouth. Jane looked at herself in the mirror, before turning on the water to wash her face. "He got her Maura. J.R. 2."

"I'm sorry, Jane. But he didn't kill her."

"That was his M.O. Maybe it really wasn't him on our first vic. I think Dylan is a right hander." Jane stared at herself in the mirror watching the dark bruises begin to form around her eyes.

"Jane, I told you not to rely on that. I can't be sure."

"I know." Jane glanced at Maura in the mirror. Jane jumped when there was a knock on the bathroom door and the frustration was evident as she turned to see who was entering.

"Rizzoli," Captain Cavanaugh pushed the door open just enough to deliver the latest development in the case. "Got another missing woman."

Jane turned back to face the mirror. She closed her eyes as she leaned over the sink. She felt an instant wave of nausea attack just then forcing her to push past Maura and head into a stall. She heaved for what seemed like forever until she was completely spent. "Maura?'

Maura handed her a wet paper towel waiting for her to get to her feet. "Jane, you've got to take a break."

"I can't. He's fucking with me now. He will continue this until he gets to ten." Jane wiped her face and tried to breathe. "Or until I catch him first. Either way he's pissed at me for putting him away."

"I can't let him victimize nine more victims just to get to me." Jane felt Maura's hand on her arm.

"You said it yourself, if he's bent on revenge he's bound to make a mistake." Maura stepped back as Jane turned quickly to finish getting sick.

"I can't handle this anymore. I'm so tired, Maur." Jane rested her head on her arms over the toilet bowl.


	5. Chapter 5

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 5

I don't own R and I.

Jane sat in the oversized conference room with her team and the six members of the FBI that were now working the case along with Boston Homicide. McFadden was an escaped convict and that warranted FBI attention. As her boss handled the briefing, Jane found herself letting his voice fade in and out of her consciousness. She usually didn't allow herself to predict the outcome of any case, let alone one that had the potential to be so damaging to so many people. This particular case was different. This particular criminal nearly changed the way she viewed life itself so many years earlier. He had made her question her mission, her purpose at such a young age, at such an important crossroads in her career. Duncan McFadden had made her question humanity in general. How could somebody do the things McFadden did, inflict the physical and mental torture on so many unsuspecting women and girls.

Jane thought about his method. Method of operation was oh so important in identifying and eventually apprehending a suspect. It was when they varied from their own M.O. that the game became that much more of a challenge. Jane wasn't questioning McFadden's challenge, she felt the personal invitation to participate in his game, despite the fact her superiors and colleagues were reluctant to name her a target. It was all good, just meant she wouldn't be pulled from the case too soon. Jane didn't question McFadden's intentions, she remembers the look on his face when she had finished cuffing him so many years ago. Even in her inexperience, she had read the subtle warning his eyes displayed. He shot her a warm friendly smile despite the threatening tone his eyes held hers with.

She was young then and McFadden had scared her. He had scared her and scarred her. She would always have a reminder of him and that was what he wanted for all his victims. He hadn't killed any of them until two nights ago. He hadn't killed Emily Rogue though, but Jane wasn't so sure if that was because she and her team had showed up in time. It wasn't his M.O. to kill. Her mind shifted to Dylan McFadden. She liked him for the murder, but something with him wasn't settling with her too well. Inexperienced officer versus seasoned detective. Eager and anxious versus burning out and defeated.

Jane looked down at the scars on her hands. She rarely really looked anymore knowing how the pain instantly consumed her when she did. There are things she is powerless to erase from her mind. Charles Hoyt will always be there. Duncan McFadden the same. Frost nudged her bringing her back to the situation at hand. She no longer heard Cavenaugh's voice, prompting her to look around the room. All eyes were on her and she instantly felt her pulse begin to race.

"Detective Rizzoli, would you please take a few minutes to give us your thoughts and opinions on the suspect at large." Jane tried to read her boss' intentions. He knew she was involved in McFadden's original apprehension, most of the force that was still around knew the role she had played in his arrest, even if they didn't know the details. The fear, the pain, the scar. Jane made her way up to the podium, scanning the room briefly. Her eyes fell onto her brother, sitting in the back. He was in uniform, not yet assigned to any specific division. All hands on deck, she thought to herself, not wanting him involved. Not wanting him to know how she doubted herself when it came to McFadden in a way that she hadn't since. She took a few minutes to make sure her voice would be strong, all business. Facts, Rizzoli, just give them the facts.

Jane gripped the side of the podium in an effort to steady herself. She cursed the fatigue and nausea that punched at her body. She had no notes to read from, she hadn't even been informed she would be speaking, or briefing if she was to stay in character. Movement in the back of the room caught her attention. Dr. Maura Isles had entered and taken a seat in the back. Maura was a huge part of any case they worked. Homicide depended on the medical examiner for answers as to cause of death, time of death and anything else relevant to the case at hand. Jane depended on Maura to keep her focused and grounded. Jane noticed the effect Maura had on her and she so appreciated it. It seemed like lately if not for Maura, Jane would have come unglued or worse. She held her gaze before looking back down ready to address her fellow officers, detectives and agents.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I'd be speaking this morning, not exactly prepared." Jane shot a look toward her captain as her voice was low and husky. Maura had recognized Jane's tone and knew she was feeling the stress of the case.

"Duncan McFadden is a predatory and violent pedophile and rapist. He targets women and young girls, physical characteristics in his victims vary. No established preference. He's highly organized, intelligent and goal oriented. While his victims may be chosen randomly, he has a game plan that he will work in detail. He has had twelve years to finalize his game plan and it is in my opinion he will not stray from it. His plan will include police involvement, he knows we will do everything possible to apprehend him once again; he has worked that into his strategy. "

Jane paused letting her eyes scan the room once again. She caught Maura's gaze and held it a bit longer than she intended to. "He enjoys taking risks, but they're calculated risks. He doesn't believe he'll be caught, feels no remorse for his actions and feels a sense of entitlement. In other words, he gets off on frustrating us." Jane listened to the low rumble in the room once she resorted to layman's terms.

"McFadden was responsible for the abduction of nine women and children before he was finally apprehended twelve years ago. He raped them, tortured them, branded them, but didn't kill them. He's not a murderer. At least not until just recently. He very well may be upping his game, resorting to murder to get our attention." Jane paused again, wishing her thoughts weren't so loud in her head. He murdered so Boston Homicide would be involved. So she would be involved. It wasn't a risk on McFadden's part, it was all calculated. She still wasn't sure if getting to the little girl was luck, timing or his plan.

"He blends in nicely with society despite his depraved nature. He is congenial, charming, articulate and handsome. He uses his good looks to attract his victims, at least the older ones. It would be easy to assume his nature has changed since his incarceration, but he is strong mentally. He will be patient, abducting when the time is right." Jane grabbed the podium again as she could feel her face flushing. She wanted to reach up and wipe the sweat that was beginning to form on her forehead but didn't want to draw attention. Her eyes sought out Maura who's returning gaze encouraged her to continue.

"I believe he has a personal stake in tormenting and challenging the Boston PD. He is angry, he truly believed he was unstoppable and wouldn't be apprehended. We did stop him and I believe he most likely will seek revenge, but not before he has fulfilled his obligation to himself. Duncan McFadden's case has been studied thoroughly. It is often used as textbook in the academy. While his actions are serial in nature, his intentions now are laced with revenge. That alone could be the component we need to bring him down again. I believe he will make a mistake, it will just be up to us to capitalize when he does. Sir." Jane handed the floor over to the head FBI agent she had just recently been introduced to.

She returned to her seat wondering how much longer before she would have to leave. Her head was swimming, her body sweating. Duncan McFadden had gotten to her and it was affecting her. She knew that it was really about who made the mistake first. Him or her. Right now victim number three of round two was missing. She wasn't missing at all, she was with him. He would give her back to them, it was just a question of when, where and in what shape.

Jane pushed into the interrogation room shortly after the briefing. Dylan McFadden sat with his hands cuffed, but otherwise unaffected by the attention. Korsak, Frost and Special Agent Brady followed in behind Rizzoli as they all took a seat around the table that McFadden headed. Jane sat directly across from him, while her team sat on either side of her and Dylan.

"Whoa! What happened to your face?" Dylan possessed the same charming smile as his father.

"What happened to your life?" Jane was quick with a comeback refusing to acknowledge the damage he had caused when she arrested him. "You were on the same path as your brother, full ride at BCU."

Dylan shrugged nonchalantly. "School's not for everybody." Jane watched as the younger McFadden shifted his focus from each man to the next, finally letting it linger on Jane.

"You weren't surprised to see us today. Why's that?" Jane kept her voice even, neutral.

"My father was out of prison. I knew you'd come looking for him." Dylan reached his joined hands across the table towards Jane.

Jane watched his movements but didn't react. "It was too easy, Dylan. We found that girl too easily. You know your father's plan, am I right?"

"I don't even know my father, not really." Dylan leaned forward almost touching Jane with his glare as his disposition changed instantly. "Do you have any idea what it was like growing up with the same name as his?"

Jane glanced from Korsak to Frost and finally to Brady before returning her focus to Dylan. "Tell me."

"My brother and I were tormented regularly at school. Especially Duncan. We must be like him, hell we even look like him." Dylan could see that Jane was hearing him and continued to play the sympathy card. "I was always having to protect Duncan, he was a good kid, you know."

"And you?' Agent Brady's voice seem to disrupt Dylan as his steady gaze at Jane was broken. Jane was frustrated knowing Dylan was irritated by the interruption.

"You want to know if I killed that girl the other night, right Detective Rizzoli?" Dylan gave Agent Brady a dirty look before setting his gaze back to Jane.

"Yes."

"I didn't, but you're wondering aren't you?" Dylan once again leaned in towards Jane.

"Yes, Dylan, I am. You're father didn't kill any of his nine victims. Why this one?" Korsak watched Jane as she carefully worked Dylan.

"Actually it was ten victims, Detective. And no, he didn't kill any of them." Dylan smiled at the recognition in Jane's expression.

"So, lets move this along, Dylan. Did your father kill that girl?" Again Brady with the interruption.

Jane glared at Agent Brady. "You'll have to ask him, if you catch him." Dylan's words brought Jane's attention back to him.

"Why are you protecting him? Why would you take any of this heat for him, you know, especially after the childhood he caused you." Jane tried to recapture the easy dialogue she felt she was having with him.

"He's my pops." the arrogant smile returned.

"Dylan, if he hurts or kills anybody else, you will go down for it as well. Are you willing to do that for your pops?" Jane stood up at Agent Brady's third interruption.

"I'm done here." Jane turned and made her way to the door.

"Detective Rizzoli!" Jane was compelled to turn at the sound of Dylan's voice. "He's playing you. You do know that right? He intends to finish what he started…with you."

Jane marched back up to the table where nobody had moved but her. "Why doesn't he just come for me then?" Jane forced herself not to look at Korsak who's eyes were burning her now. "Why hurt so many girls?"

Dylan seemed to ponder his answer. "Oh, I think it's the thrill of the hunt. He knows each girl will drive you closer and closer to the edge until you break. And when you break, Detective, that's when he'll move in."

Jane let her eyes shift to meet Korsak's. "If McFadden loves the thrill of hunting down his victims, why would he want me weakened? Am I too much a match for him, is that it?" Jane was angry and it was clearly amusing to Dylan.

"Officer Rizzoli, you are the reason my father wasn't able to complete his quest. It's odd, I agree, but pops won't rest until he has finished what he started." Dylan smiled at Jane. "Does it bother you, you know, to have his mark on you?"

"Rizzoli! Korsak! We got a witness reported sighting of McFadden." Jane was relieved by her captain's interruption as she bolted for the door. Korsak and Frost were immediately on her heels.

Jane was given the reported information when Agent Brady appeared in front of her. "Is there something we need to know, Detective?"

"There's something I need to know. Where the hell did you learn to interview suspects?" Jane was in Brady's face within seconds.

"He was jerking us off. We've got a missing woman out there, we don't have time for that." Brady was loud causing Korsak and Frost both to backtrack.

"He was talking, that's what we wanted. Him to talk. He was giving us what we needed until you pissed him off." Jane was equally as loud.

"He was stroking you, Rizzoli. You're too much of a head case for this. I am requesting you be pulled immediately." Brady tried to pull rank, but to no avail.

"You heard him in there. McFadden is coming for me. You can pull me, but that doesn't change his game plan. He won't deviate from his plan." Jane waited for a response, pushing by the arrogant agent when there didn't seem to be one.

"I'll drive." Jane huffed out as she marched out of the squad room. Jane never saw Maura who had entered with important DNA results. Dylan McFadden's DNA was found on their first vic. She was raped post mortem and then dressed and positioned to be found. It seemed Duncan McFadden had definitely upped his level of play. Maura caught the argument between Jane and Agent Brady. She heard what was said and now knowing what she knew about McFadden it made her worry that much more for Jane.

Korsak climbed into the passenger seat and strapped his seatbelt on. Frost and uniforms were headed out ahead of them. Jane was running on pure adrenaline as she struggled to fasten her seatbelt without difficulty.

"Slow down. Remember he's counting on mistakes." Korsak knew how affected Jane was but knew she was the key to stopping McFadden.

Jane gave him a quick look signifying she heard him before proceeding to pull out into traffic. Korsak read off the address again as Jane knew the area well. The anonymous caller claimed to see McFadden get into a green four door sedan most likely a Toyota or Mazda. It had a cracked windshield and front end damage. The caller said the car was parked at the address mentioned.

"This is a set-up, I feel it, Korsak." Jane slowed down enough to make sure she could get through the intersection safely. "It's too easy."

"Maybe." Korsak watched the traffic as Jane maneuvered through it.

"Watch this car…Jane. I found our car!" Korsak hollered out causing Jane to look to the right. She stomped on the accelerator as the green Toyota plowed into the right rear panel of the cruiser. Jane felt the car spin into a full three sixty before quickly getting her bearings.

"Korsak? Okay?"

"Go, go!" Jane followed Korsak's direction as he pointed ahead of them to the green car turning right. Jane repositioned the siren and headed off after the car. Korsak called for backup alerting the Frost and the other officers where they were in position to the car they were chasing.

"Korsak, it's a woman driving!" Jane took the corner on two wheels, not bothering to slow down to turn. Frost came from the right ahead of the Toyota causing the driver to turn the car around quickly. It was now coming head on at Jane and Korsak.

Korsak grabbed his seatbelt. He never worried with Rizzoli driving before, but she seemed somewhat possessed to him now. "Come on!" Jane hit the gas as the Toyota quickly approached.

"She's not going to turn, Jane. Jane!" Korsak wanted to see what Rizzoli was thinking, but couldn't take his eyes from the car heading straight for them.

"She'll turn." Jane's voice sounded foreign as she refused to slow down any. And at the last minute, she turned. The green Toyota swerved prompting Jane to do the same in the same direction. Jane pinned the driver's side door closed with her car and quickly excited with her gun drawn.

Frost came to a screeching halt behind the Toyota and flanked the car from the other side. He aimed his gun into the back of the car as they searched for McFadden. Jane focused on the driver who was bleeding profusely from her head. She had been beaten as her face was severely bruised.

"Let me see your hands!" Jane called as she inched closer, her gun leading her charge.

"Please, help me! I need…need Detective Rizzoli." Jane opened the passenger door and took in the wounded woman as she cried with her hands over her head.

"Who are you?" Jane glanced in and around the car before bending to enter.

"Devany James." Jane backed out of the car at the woman's answer.

"Korsak, it's victim number three." Jane holstered her gun and took a deep breath before re-entering the car. She could hear medical help coming as the sirens grew louder.

"Devany, I'm Detective Rizzoli. Where's McFadden?" Jane lightly guided her hands down.

"I don't know. He said I had to do this. I had to hit your car." Devany was crying harder now as Jane struggled to contain her anger. "I'm sorry."

"Okay, did he say anything else? Devany, I have to find him." Jane found herself pleading with the young woman.

Jane watched as Devany worked to calm herself. She pulled her shirt up exposing the newly carved letters above her right hipbone. J R 3.

Jane reached out pulling Devany's shirt back down. She then took the trembling woman's hands into her own. "It's going to be okay. Help is here now."

"He said he'd find me and kill me if I didn't hit your car. Don't let him kill me." Jane pulled the crying woman into her chest. Jane held her until she felt Korsak pulling on her arm. The paramedics needed to get in to help Devany.

Jane watched as Devany was loaded onto a stretcher and placed into the ambulance. "You okay?" Korsak stood by her side as the commotion continued around them.

"No." Jane stared straight ahead. "Three down, what 7 to go?"

"It looks that way." Korsak left her staring after the ambulance as the lights began to flash lighting up her face. She instinctively covered her ears like a child would when they hit the sirens. It wasn't until the ambulance was gone that she allowed herself to take a deep breath.


	6. Chapter 6

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 6

I don't own R and I.

Jane was dragging ass as she entered the squad room. Devany James was taken to the hospital where she would be questioned thoroughly by the FBI agents. Jane and Korsak both refused medical attention, both ignored the minor aches from the intentional accident.

"Rizzoli, a minute." Agent Brady was motioning for Jane to join them in a smaller office rarely used. She glanced up at the wall where the pictures of McFadden's three victims were prominently displayed. There was a huge chalkboard with a timeline of McFadden's activity since his escape. Jane glanced around the room noticing her captain and lieutenant, each one of the FBI team that had been assigned to the case and Maura all converged around a big table where files and photos were strewn about.

"Starting without me?" Jane tried to keep her eyes from a separate wall that held the pictures of the first nine McFadden victims. Jane took the empty seat next to Maura, giving the her friend a questioning look.

"Korsak, you're up. We need the original McFadden investigation in detail." Korsak was as surprised as Jane was as he entered the room. He took a minute to take in the activity and then proceeded to the empty chair next to Jane. He stayed standing, and for a brief moment, Jane was back in uniform. She was young, she was eager and she was desperate to prove herself.

Korsak's words quickly blurred into a low hum. Jane knew the case, the investigation forwards and back. She was involved back then, even if only as a patrol officer at first. The sound of Korsak's voice began to actually help Jane relax and it wasn't until Maura whispered her name that she realized she was drifting off.

"Rizzoli, I think it stands to reason at this point that this is indeed personal?" Jane looked up at her lieutenant, then her captain. They couldn't pull her, not now. "I think keeping you on the case is giving McFadden that much more of a reason to continue abducting and hurting these women."

"No!" Jane was quickly on her feet. "It doesn't matter, sir. He will take six more victims before he tries for me. That's how he works. He won't abort his plan whether I'm on the case or not."

"Sir, I believe Detective Rizzoli is hindering this investigation. Her past involvement as both the arresting officer and the tenth victim of McFadden has compromised her ability to remain impartial." Agent Brady spoke to his commanding officer as well as hers.

Jane sat back down as if she had just been punched. She glared at Brady who refused to make eye contact with her. Korsak spoke up as all eyes were on Jane and Agent Brady. "It's in my opinion that Detective Rizzoli assistance on this case is a must. She is right, McFadden will proceed whether she's working the case or not. And besides, we need all hands on deck so that with any luck McFadden doesn't make it to his tenth victim."

The room grew silent as Jane rubbed her temples with her fingers. She glanced out the window, noticing it was dark already. She couldn't remember when she ate last, or when she slept last. She did however remember the terrified look on the face of McFadden's last victim. The blatant taunting McFadden was doing by carving her initials into each one of his new victims was in the forefront of her exhausted mind.

She felt Maura's hand tapping her knee. She looked over and then up as she was once again being summoned. "What is your take, Detective on McFadden's strategy?"

Jane pushed to her feet once again. She walked to the wall where the original nine victims were displayed. She then moved over to where the latest three were. "He only killed one. The first nine were found alive, and the last two this time were found alive. Murdering is not part of his plan. He's not a murderer. He's a rapist, a sadist, and a psychopath, but not a murderer."

"So, what are you saying, he killed the first one by accident?" Agent Brady was determined to go up against Jane and continued his challenging tactics.

"It was no accident. He intentionally killed her to get us on the case. McFadden knew I was now with Boston Homicide. It was simply a message as is the inscriptions he carves into each of them." Jane finished speaking, but kept her position at the wall.

"What's the connection between the victims. We have to find a way to get one step ahead of him." Agent Brady's voice was beginning to grate on Jane's nerves.

"There is no connection, Brady. That's how he stays one step ahead. He wants us to find these victims…when he's finished with them." Jane stormed from the room in a full on fit of anger. She circled her desk a few times, fighting with herself to calm down. She finally lowered herself down into her chair, letting her head fall into her hands.

"I'm losing it, Maura." Jane felt her presence before she saw her.

"I think it's to be expected. Jane, you really need to get some rest. Look at it with a clear head." Maura sat on the edge of Jane's desk, waiting for the weary detective to address her with her eyes. Once she did, Maura continued. "Duncan McFadden's DNA was found on the first vic. He raped her post mortem."

Jane lowered her eyes down to her hands. She slowly shook her head, knowing that each action McFadden did and will do would have a specific meaning. A specific message for her. "If he wanted to control or hurt her with the rape, he would've done her alive. What is he doing?"

"Jane, you're about to drop. How about calling it a night." Maura watched as a few of the other detectives were packing it in.

"I can't. He's not perfect, Maura. He will make a mistake…I don't want to miss the chance to stop him." Jane stood up, surprised when Maura stepped in front of her.

"Jane, please. You need to be sharp and clear minded. You're no good to yourself or those girls if you don't rest." Maura forced Jane to look her in the eyes when she spoke.

Jane searched Maura's eyes for a few minutes before she let out a long sigh. She had been so worried about Maura since the incident at the prison with Hoyt. Although Maura was involved with their cases, she never should've been exposed to Charles Hoyt the way she was. It bothered Jane to know that Maura was hurt in any way because of her.

Maura placed her hands on Jane's arms as it seemed Jane mentally checked out. "Jane, what if he comes for you? You can't handle it like this. You need to take a break, get some sleep."

Jane focused back on Maura's face. "Will you come with? We could ride in early in the morning together." Jane didn't want Maura being alone, just in case McFadden had her in mind. She wouldn't mention it though, no need to worry her unnecessarily.

"Sure, I just need to grab a few things from my place first." Maura smiled at Jane before leaving her alone.

Jane pushed open the door to her apartment. It was a mess as housekeeping wasn't exactly a priority, especially now. "Sorry." Jane knew how Maura was very neat and organized. Jane flopped down on her couch, immediately resting her head against the back.

"No, come on. Real sleep, Jane. Your body will thank you." Maura tugged on her arm as the exhausted detective groaned in protest.

Maura had stayed over often. The incident in the prison had shaken them both in ways that were unfamiliar to each of them. Being together was often the only thing that settled each of them. "I'm going to change." Maura headed into the bathroom. Jane sat still on her bed for a few minutes. Her mind was on how easy McFadden was making it to find these victims. She wished he would just come after her now, instead of damaging innocent women and girls in the process.

Jane pulled off her boats and holster. She checked her gun, twice, before lying it on the bedside table. She quickly stripped down to a tight tank and her underwear, pulling the sheet just barely up to her waist. Maura was right, as usual. Her body was about to give out on her and she recognized the feeling. She listened to the water running in the bathroom as her eyes fought to stay opened.

Maura emerged from the bathroom, half expecting Jane to be thinking and rethinking the case. Instead she was surprised, but pleased to see Jane had fallen asleep that fast. She made her way over to the bed, carefully climbing in beside her. "Jane." Maura whispered hoping not to wake her.

Jane was out to the world as Maura had hoped. She needed the rest, but Maura wasn't so sure even a good night's sleep would be enough to help with the emotional and mental fatigue that was threatening her good friend. Maura carefully pried Jane's gun from her tight grasp, surprised that even that didn't wake her. She set it down carefully on Jane's left side, knowing how she would instinctively grab for it with her left hand.

Maura turned the lights off and relaxed into the bed. She was wide awake, unlike Jane who was breathing deeply. Maura wished she could help Jane. She knew how close Jane was to giving up her dream, her career, her mission. It wasn't until Jane shifted slightly that Maura had realized she was drifting off.

"Maura?' Jane called out Maura's name in her sleep. Maura wondered if Jane ever really relaxed enough to sleep soundly. Maura touched Jane's arm in response and waited for Jane's heavy breathing to resume.

Maura didn't know Jane when she was Officer Rizzoli. She didn't know of the case until recently. She didn't know of Jane's involvement until she had told her herself. Maura didn't know how Jane continued to do what she did with such intensity on a daily basis. She often wondered what she was made of, because failure was never an option. The moonlight streaming in trough the blinds cast a glow over Jane's body. Maura turned away as she realized the ghost like appearance of her friend. Maura's eyes caught a glimpse of the scar before she turned. She fought with herself not to look again, but lost as her eyes found their way back to Jane's abdomen.

Jane's hand was draped across her belly, just above the scar giving Maura a look at why Jane was the way she was, especially lately. Charles Hoyt had nearly broke her, more than once, and she carried that reminder every day. Physically and mentally. But it was the scar below her scarred hand that gave Maura that much more insight into her friend. Duncan McFadden had etched a place for himself in Jane's memory, her psyche, early on in her career and now he was back.

Maura admired Jane's strength and courage. She respected her drive and appreciated her protective nature. She wished there was something she could do to help heal the wounds that were constantly opened by the animals she puts away to protect others.

The sunlight woke Maura first, just before Jane's cell woke her. Jane groaned forcing her body to roll and grab the phone that was next to her gun. "Rizzoli." Jane's voice was thick with sleep and Maura wished they could've waited just an hour more before waking her.

Maura watched as Jane rubbed her forehead without ever opening her eyes. "Okay, I'll be right there. Yeah, call her."

Jane snapped her phone closed and let it fall onto her chest. She lied still for a few more minutes before turning her head to face Maura.

"Too bad they couldn't wait just a little longer." Maura was also still very tired and it showed in her voice.

"I guess McFadden had to sleep as well. He's up now and he's got number four for us." Jane sighed when Maura's phone went off. "This one was murdered, after she was beaten and raped. There's your call."

Maura watched as Jane forced herself out of bed as she reached for her phone. Jane still favored her right side sometimes, although she was sure nobody noticed. Nobody did, but Maura.


	7. Chapter 7

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 7

I don't own R and I.

Jane showered quickly, dressed even quicker and was ready to head out by the time Maura was ready. She had barely said a few words once receiving her early morning wake up call; her mind totally engrossed in the case. Jane couldn't help but feel helpless, powerless to stop McFadden from his mission. She shuddered at the thought they would have to recover six more victims before he came for her. Jane was convinced he would come for her, it was just a matter of when. She knew better than to assume she would be after victim nine; McFadden was varying the game plan. This latest victim was raped and murdered. He's mixing it up.

Jane's hair was still damp as she strapped on her gun. Maura watched as her movements seemed forced even after a decent night's sleep. "You okay, Jane?"

"Yeah, Maur, why?" Jane pulled her jacket on, consciously straightening her posture to ward off her friend's concern.

Maura decided not to push the issue. "It's getting colder by the day, winter is fast approaching."

Jane stopped at her door, turned to look at Maura who was grabbing her jacket and purse. "I can't stop him. He's controlling this game. I feel like a puppet or something."

Maura had no words for Jane, just a look of understanding and concern. "You'll beat him, Jane. I know you will." Maura pushed past her close friend forcing Jane to follow. Jane could only wish she felt as confident as Maura's words suggested.

Jane stood back against the far wall in the small apartment where their fourth victim was left. Casey Lomax, average height weight, approximately thirty. Beaten, raped…marked. Korsak and Frost quickly made it to the scene and proceeded to investigate. Everything was procedure, everything was routine. Jane pushed off the wall, making her way over to where Maura was recording her initial assessments. "What can you tell me?"

"I'll know more when I get her on my table." Maura's eyes locked on Jane's when she looked up toward the detective who was refusing to come to close. Jane nodded as this was Maura's initial answer each time they had to assess a homicide victim. Then Jane would gently persuade Maura to give a few educated guesses. It was a familiar song and dance, but today the usual back and forth was lacking something. Maura was more willing to throw out her opinions without all the proper findings to back up her thoughts.

Jane finally crouched down, her balance seemed off as her hand fell onto Maura's arm to help steady herself. Maura kept her gaze locked with Jane's as she read the plea in Jane's eyes not to ask if she was okay. She was not okay, Jane knew it, Maura knew it, McFadden surely knew it.

Jane lifted the woman's shirt, letting her eyes travel to exactly where she knew she would find McFadden's signature. She stared at the blood that had since dried . McFadden carved with such skill as each letter was perfectly proportioned to the next. JR 4. Jane covered the wound after taking a few extra minutes to take it in. "Was she raped before or after she was killed."

"I'll know for sure when…"

"Maura! Please." Jane realized she couldn't get upset with her friend. Her eyes apologized and Maura got it. "I know you have to do tests, but I need to know now."

"I would say yes, but I will know for sure in a few hours." Maura stood, now towering over the crouching detective. "What is he doing, Jane?"

"He's breaking pattern. Trying to throw us." Jane stood to face Maura. "He's not deviating at all though. He's sticking to his plan."

Jane's eyes narrowed as she looked at Maura. "What?"

"Jane, he's escalating. He didn't kill them before. Now he's killed and raped two?" Maura looked down at her hands as she slowly pulled the gloves off.

Jane placed both her hands on Maura's arms. Maura was always so by the book, never involving herself in anything but the forensics and the facts. Never guessed without having substantial evidence to back up her hypothesis. Never questioned motive. She always left the questions to the detectives, she just provided the answers when she found them. Jane waited until Maura looked up at her before she tried to explain.

"He's angry. He's pissed off I put him away. He wants me to spin awhile. Unfortunately these women are having to pay for that." Maura looked away from Jane and the look on her face concerned the usually intuitive detective. "Tell me, Maura."

"How are you going to stop him when he comes for you? He is so…"

"I will." Jane's strong voice cut Maura off in mid sentence causing her to look into Jane's dark, focused eyes. "I will."

Jane's attention was diverted towards the front door as Agent Brady entered. "Great, the big boys are here."

Maura watched as Jane met up with Korsak as they approached the FBI agent. Jane was strong, smart, and physically able to hold her own. Maura knew all that, but still couldn't help but worry about her. She knew Jane was feeling every one of these victims. Maura knew Jane felt a sense of responsibility for the injuries, their deaths. She knew Jane was frustrated, scared, and tired. She was worried about her and watching Jane square off with Agent Brady again made her hurt for the woman who somehow managed to capture her heart. Jane was oblivious as to Maura's feelings for her and Maura knew that was the way it needed to be. That very fact made it hard for Maura to watch Jane spin at the hands of Duncan McFadden.

"Ah, Detective. I was wondering when I would get to see you again." Dylan McFadden sat back at the same table he sat at a few days earlier waiting for the Boston Detectives to interrogate him some more.

Jane once again sat across from him, staring him down, carefully deciding what to ask him and how much to tell.

"Whatever it is, I didn't do it." Dylan stared back at Jane. His straight serious face instantly formed a taunting grin as he let his eyes begin their slow descent down's Jane's body.

"I know that." Jane's voice held her usual raspy quality but the tone showed an anger that would've scared most people. Not Dylan. "I don't understand why you would go down for what you're father's doing."

"I won't. I'm not involved. Eventually that will be proven and I will be released." Dylan leaned across the table. "I know you're a little busy now, but I don't see why when this is all over, you and I couldn't…you know…maybe hook up."

Jane let herself smile an irritated grin before looking up at Korsak. "You're not going anywhere. You're an accomplice to murder."

"No, Detective, I'm not." Dylan stared into Jane's eyes. It was a long few seconds before he spoke. "I would never kill anybody. I would never help him."

"You did. Emily was found at your house. You helped him, you tried to protect him against us." Jane was careful to stay in control. "I need to know what next. I cannot stop him. Okay, I can't. I just don't want any more women hurt because he wants to finish with me."

"Are you asking for my help, Detective Rizzoli?" Dylan resumed his perusal of her body.

"Yes." Jane shifted uncomfortably at the sound of herself asking McFadden's son to help her.

Dylan seemed to be in deep thought. He looked back up to Jane's face before speaking. "Take these cuffs off."

Jane shook her head from side to side, but didn't say anything. Korsak watched the interaction. He trusted Jane but was having a hard time following where she was going with this.

"I will help you, but I want to be able to touch you." Dylan grinned as Korsak jumped to his feet. Jane placed a hand on Korsak's arm to settle him. She never lost eye contact with Dylan.

"Give me something." Jane pleaded with Dylan as she guided Korsak to sit back down. "You give me something I can use and I will be back. I will owe you."

Jane felt Korsak's glare burning into her from the side as she watched Dylan again take her in with his eyes. She leaned forward as Dylan prepared to speak to her.

"Okay, Detective. I'll play." Dylan set his eyes on Jane's mouth, tracing the line of her lips with his eyes. "My father wants nothing more than to break you, Detective Rizzoli. He wants to break you, rape you and then claim you. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

Jane stared at the younger McFadden for a few moments before nodding. "Help me find him, Dylan. I don't want any more women to get hurt. I don't think you do either."

Dylan placed his cuffed hands on top of the table. His eyes asked her to remove the cuffs.

"Tell me something." Jane's voice was lower than normal and the tone caused Dylan to smile wide. He leaned in as close as he could to Jane.

"Go to hell, Detecitve. You will find what you're looking for there." Dylan straightened up in his chair, watching Jane fight to control her anger.

Jane's movements were fluid as she pushed to her feet, shoving the table into Dylan. She watched as Dylan was instantly on his back on the cold, hard floor of the interrogation room. He laughed loudly as Jane made her way towards the door. "Hell, Rizzoli. You owe me, you know. I just told you where to go. You owe me!"

Jane was furious. She sat at her desk, tapping her pen against a stack of files. She could only see red, she could only feel heat. She had to calm down or she would be no good to anybody. How could she let Dylan control the game like that. Korsak approached, failing to pull her from her anger induced haze.

"What the hell were you doing in there?" Korsak's tone was one of anger and fear himself. He was watching Jane lose her grip and it bothered him terribly.

"Trying. Trying to do whatever can to find McFadden. I can't wait for him to victimize six more women until he shows his face." Jane looked up at Korsak who seemed to soften at her words. Jane caught Maura entering and got to her feet.

"Casey Lomax, age twenty two. College student at BCU. Beaten, and raped. Murdered by asphyxiation." Maura took in Jane's agitated state, wondering what had happened. She wouldn't ask.

"Raped before or after?" Jane's voice sounded defeated and strained.

"Before." Maura answered looking towards Korsak who shook his head suggesting she didn't ask.

Jane resumed tapping her pen, before she threw it down on her desk. She dropped her head into her hands in a frustrated move that was becoming more and more common. Maura sat on the edge of Jane's desk, waiting for Jane to recover.

Jane sat straight up, glancing at Maura before looking at Korsak. "Casey was a college student? In state or out of state?"

Korsak shrugged as he headed toward his computer. Maura took in Jane's disheveled appearance. "Jane?"

"It's just a thought, but I may have gotten something out of Dylan after all." Jane's eyes followed Korsak as he stood from his desk and approached the women.

"Casey Lomax was a senior paying out of state tuition." Korsak's questioning gaze prompted Jane to follow up her thoughts.

"Out of state. Where was she from, Korsak?"

"Michigan. Her parents still live in Michigan." Korsak could tell Jane had hit on something.

"Dylan told me to go to hell. That I'd find what I was looking for there." Jane looked at Maura and wasn't surprised that the medical examiner had caught on to Jane's long shot. "There's a city called Hell in Michigan."

Jane stared at Korsak for a few long moments before turning to face Maura. "Right?"

"Yes." Maura answered quickly.

"When Hell freezes over." Jane mumbled as she picked her pen up and continued to tap it with much more purpose now.

"Rizzoli, Korsak. Our boy is on the move. Young girl abducted, eye witness account. It's McFadden." Cavenaugh approached the two detectives with two other FBI agents in tow. Jane wondered why they were even here, it seemed like a waste of labor dollars.

"Where?" Korsak was quick with the question they all wanted to know.

"Michigan. Rizzoli you're on the road with Agent Brady. Now." Cavenaugh turned on his heal leaving Jane to stare down Brady. Jane pushed back from her desk and headed for the ladies room.

Maura watched what had transpired and her heart was beating at a slightly faster pace than normal. Jane had managed to get ahead of McFadden only to be slapped back down. She followed Jane into the ladies room to find her splashing her face with cold water. She looked up at Maura when she entered, not bothering to reach for a towel.

"Well, it looks like I'm going to Hell." Jane smiled a smile that didn't come close to reaching her eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 8

I don't own R and I.

"You're not going, are you?" Maura handed her a paper towel to dry her face with.

"You heard the captain. Besides, I have to. McFadden's counting on it." Jane turned to look at herself in the mirror. She cut her eyes to notice Maura's concerned expression. "It's part of his plan."

"Jane, why are you giving him what he wants?" Jane turned her entire body now to study her friend. She noticed the frustration and worry that Maura wasn't even trying to mask.

Jane narrowed her eyes before speaking. "Maura, Duncan McFadden will take what he wants, it's not a matter of giving him anything. If I have a shot to stop him, I have to take it."

Maura shook her head slowly, refusing to look Jane in the eyes. Jane ducked and dodged until Maura couldn't avoid her gaze. Finally Maura gave up and stared Jane down causing her to take a step or two back. "Jane, this isn't a game. He will kill you if given the chance."

"Maura, again, it's not about giving him anything. He will come for me whether I go to him or not. If I can prevent any more women from being hurt, then I have to. Please understand." Maura had to turn away from the pleading in Jane's eyes. It was important to Jane that Maura supported her, she knew this.

"I understand, but…I'm going with." Maura couldn't stand the thought of Jane being too far from her with a psychopath bearing down. Not that she could protect her from him or herself.

"No, Maura. No way." Jane ran her hand through her hair. "We're just going up to check on the missing girl and to confirm whether or not it's McFadden."

"And if it is?" Maura held Jane's gaze.

"Then it is." Jane was confident it was McFadden. "We'll go from there."

Jane returned to splashing her face with the cold water in an attempt to psyche herself up to travel with Agent Brady. She felt Maura turn on her heels and leave her alone. She so hated it when Maura was frustrated with her, but she had to go. She had to keep up with McFadden. He had another girl and he was escalating. Maura was spot on about that.

Jane had gone home, packed a light suitcase and met Agent Brady at the airport just in time to catch their flight. She wondered briefly why him and why only them, but knew if McFadden's involvement was confirmed, backup would be dispatched. Jane had barely made eye contact with Brady, not quite geared up to spar with him just yet. As they approached their seats, Brady stepped aside suggesting she take the inside spot by the window.

"I'll take the aisle." Jane finally met his eyes with her own.

"I don't want the window." Brady moved quickly, nearly pushing Jane into their row of only two seats.

Jane was already aggravated with her temporary partner and they hadn't even left Boston. She took her seat, looking for the seatbelt. "Tell me big, strong FBI man isn't afraid of flying." Jane teased intentionally trying to get under Brady's skin.

"Safer this way…for you. Little woman detective and all." Brady's smirk was enough to piss Jane off but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a retaliating remark. She did offer a smirk of her own as the plane began to taxi and Brady's posture quickly turned rigid.

"Deep breaths, Agent." Jane tried to keep the laughter from her voice, but was not at all sorry she couldn't.

The trip was to be a short one, so Jane immediately sunk her attention into the newly developed case file of their latest missing girl. Samantha Morris, age 12. Never returned from school that day. Eye witnesses described seeing a man fitting McFadden's description in and around the school yard and then at the scene where Samantha was taken from. They would head immediately to the family home located in Jackson, Michigan; not far from Hell.

Jane found her attention was on Dylan and the way he offered up the information ahead of time. He knew where his father was and she wondered how much she would give up in return for his help. He hadn't gone to see his father, even talked ill of him, yet was very much involved. She closed her eyes, allowing her mind to retrace the entire scene at the younger McFadden's home. She moved on to the conversation in the interrogation room and then this last talk they had where he informed Jane of McFadden's intentions towards her. She shuddered at the way Dylan delivered his words. Break you, rape you, claim you.

"Cold?" Jane had actually forgotten that Brady was there as she had sunk so deep into her thoughts.

"Scared?" Jane taunted, still angry at his antics in the initial briefing.

"Don't be scared. The FBI is here to protect you." Brady laughed when Jane gave in and offered a small smile. He reached for the file she had just closed. Jane pulled her hand away quickly when he unintentionally touched her fingers.

Jane turned to look out the window. The sky seemed to hold an air of hate, of anger causing Jane to touch the window to see if she could feel any change in weather. She knew it wasn't an accurate gage, but her body sensed the change. It was getting colder by the minute and maybe there was some truth to the saying that plagued her senses. When Hell freezes over…

"So, what's the deal with Dr. Isles?" Brady's voice pulled her away from the trap she was mentally falling into and she was briefly thankful for the disruption.

"She's the chief medical examiner." Jane's voice was flat as she wondered why he would ask. "Why?"

"Easy, Rizzoli, just asking." Brady watched as Jane shifted, turning back toward the window. "Awful protective of her, what's up with that?"

"If you're interested, ask her out…later. Now focus on the case Agent Brady." Jane was quickly irritated with where Brady's mind was.

"You need to relax, Rizzoli. You can't possibly function up to the standard McFadden will require if you're wound so tight." Brady stared at Jane until she turned to face him straight on.

"Maybe I have just a bit more at stake here, Brady. Don't ever tell me to relax when there's lives at stake." Rizzoli's voice grated in response to Brady's comment.

The pilot's voice over the intercom stopped Brady from responding. He refastened his seatbelt as they prepared to land. "I guess we check into the closest hotel first."

Jane shook her head as she refastend her belt as well. "No, we head to the parents house."

"It's late, Jane."

"It's their child." Jane couldn't believe how insensitive the FBI could be. "I'm sure they won't mind if we show up to tell them we too will be looking for their daughter."

Brady shook his head knowing Rizzoli had no intentions on following his orders. He did outrank her, but she didn't seem to recognize that fact; or care for that matter. "Fine, then we retire to a hotel. We will not follow up without getting some shut eye."

Jane glanced at her watch as she entered the cold Michigan night air. It was colder as she pulled her coat tighter around her chest. It was just ten o'clock, plenty of time to meet with Samantha's parents. She headed for the rental that was waiting for them, wondering at what point Brady would insist on driving. She didn't wonder long as he was quickly up behind her reaching for the keys. Pick your battles, Rizzoli. She handed over the keys, demanding he hurry and unlock the doors so she could escape the angry cold.

Samantha's parents were very accepting of their presence and gave them as much information as they could. Jane found it hard to look the little girl's mother in the eyes as she spoke to her. Even if McFadden wasn't involved in this child abduction, it didn't change the fact that Mrs. Morris was hurting and scared to death of losing her child. Jane once again was lost to her thoughts as Brady pulled up to the hotel that was reserved. She was exhausted and wouldn't argue with his suggestion to sleep at this point. They made their way up to the third floor, Brady by her side the whole way up.

"Where's your room?" Jane asked in a yawn as she inserted her card to unlock the door.

"Right here." Brady took a step back, anticipating an explosive reaction from Jane.

"Uh, no." Jane pulled the card back out of the door, as she quickly faced the taller man.

"Uh, yes. Orders Detective from my boss and yours. I am not to leave you alone, period." Brady smirked at the expression on Jane's face.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Jane slapped her hand against the door in frustrated anger.

"Hopefully they gave us a room with two beds. That would suck if they didn't, huh, Detective?" Brady pushed her out of the way to open the door with his own card.

Jane started to turn to head back downstairs to get her own room when Brady's voice stopped her from inside the room. "Don't make me call your daddy and tell on you." He was enjoying this and that alone pissed her off. Jane could feel her body beginning to give out a bit on her as she noticed her own posture was slightly off. Her abdomen was constricting where she had been injured last year, a sure sign of fatigue. It was as if she had her own burn out meter and sometimes she was thankful for it; other times not so much.

Brady was reclining on the bed closest to the window. He watched Jane as she made her way in, quickly scanning the room. "We'll meet with the locals first thing, so no funny stuff, Rizzoli. We've got to get our rest."

"Bite me, Brady." Jane dropped her bag and headed into the bathroom to wash up. She hated that she hadn't brought something less revealing to sleep in. She hated sleeping in jeans, but there definitely wasn't a better choice at this point. She exited the bathroom immediately noticing that Brady had stripped down to only his jeans. Her eyes quickly took in his build before she cursed herself for looking. Then cursed him for noticing her looking.

She slid under the covers of her own bed, feeling at least some relief against her weary body. She refused to open her eyes as she heard Brady's movements. He had turned out the lights and then returned to his bed.

"Wait until we get back and I tell everybody how I spent the night with Rizzoli." Brady laughed under his breath in what Jane knew was an attempt to taunt her.

"Yeah, too bad your childish fear of flying caused impotence. I could've used some big, bad, FBI loving." Jane responded without opening her eyes, smiling when Brady didn't come back at her.

"We're going to get him, Rizzoli." Jane felt a sense of relief at Brady's tone. "We'll get him before he gets to you as long as you keep your head in this."

"How about we concentrate on getting Samantha back. That would be enough for right now." Jane pulled her legs up, sucking in her breath. The pain was dull, but gradually worsening. Suck it up, Rizzoli. Samantha needs you.

Jane heard the faint ringing of a phone. It took a few minutes for her to comprehend exactly where the phone was as she had fallen into a deep sleep within minutes. She startled at hearing a male voice before coming to enough to realize what was happening.

"Brady." "Rizzoli, let's go, now."

Jane jumped up from the bed at Brady's tone and instantly grabbed for her gun. She slid into her tennis shoes as Brady did the same. She was right behind him as they headed out the door of their room, heading directly for the stairs. "He's dropped off Samantha Morris at the desk downstairs."

Jane stopped in her tracks causing Brady to do the same. "Alive?"

"Yes." Brady gave Jane a few seconds before encouraging her to continue down the stairs with him. They burst out onto the first floor and headed to the information desk where they had first come in. A semi-conscious twelve year old was lying on he floor with the desk clerk hovering over her. Jane bent down to get a look at the little girl. It was definitely Samantha Morris. He gave her back alive. Jane's hands were trembling as her first thought was how he wasn't staying true to his pattern, his M.O.

Brady had guided the clerk off to the side and was frantically asking about the man that had brought the little girl in. Jane pushed the girls hair back from her face as she talked softly to her. She was sleepy, yet appeared to be in pain. Jane told herself not to, but her hands had an agenda of their own. She pulled Samantha's shirt up and took in the specific message that confirmed McFadden was here in hell with them.

"JR5" Jane spoke softly as Brady crouched down next to her. Paramedics were quickly on scene and attending to McFadden's fifth victim. Jane joined Brady as they exited the hotel to look into the single eye witness' description of the car McFadden had arrived in. It was left in front of the hotel, with the motor still running.

Jane approached the car with her gun drawn. McFadden wasn't around, she knew that much. He was taunting her by leaving her evidence in plain view. By returning his latest victim to her alive. By getting her to come to him. Jane turned to see what Brady was doing at the same time she heard gunfire. She immediately hit the ground, watching Brady do the same. Her movements were controlled as she scrambled for cover; Brady's were not as he hit the ground hard.

"Rizzoli, get out of here!" Brady hollered to her as Jane approached him. "Go!"

Jane pulled FBI Agent Brady from the spot where he lay in pain to a more secure area a few feet away. She covered his body with her own as she scanned the area with her gun ready. It was only then that she noticed the writing on the back window of McFadden's abandoned car.

_WELCOME TO HELL OFFICER RIZZOLI _


	9. Chapter 9

To Hell and Only Halfway Back chapter 9

I don't own R and I.

Jane poured herself another cup of coffee. It was hot, her body cold. She stood for a long time, not drinking, barely breathing. The hot coffee felt good against her numb hands. When they were numb, they didn't hurt ache. Jane was thankful for at least that.

"Detective Rizzoli." Jane closed hr eyes against a voice she recognized as authority. She would have to follow procedure, go over every detail of Agent Brady's shooting. It seemed like a waste of time in a way. McFadden didn't care about authority, protocol or procedure. Jane tried not to think about the fact that McFadden either was hunting for or had already taken his sixth victim. They would know soon, Jane was confident about that.

Jane turned and followed the Jackson Homicide captain into his office where he closed the door. The sound of the latch catching on the door made Jane jump. She was still struggling to reel in her shattered nerves after Duncan McFadden's attack on Agent Brady.

"Your team will be arriving shortly, it seems your guy has decided to make our town his." Captain Crane seemed too tall for the chair he was sitting in. Jane wondered why he didn't adjust his desk to accommodate his height. He had to be nearly six foot seven and surprisingly didn't appear lanky. Jane realized she hadn't heard any of what Crane had said due to the fact her mind was consumed with the older man's physique.

"I'd really like to get back to the hospital, sir. I'd like to interview the victim and talk with Agent Brady as well." Jane felt as if she were elsewhere listening to herself talk. She glanced at her watch realizing it was nearing six in the morning by this point. She had refused to leave the hospital until she got word that Brady was going to be okay. He irritated her, she knew intentionally most of the time, but she couldn't help but worry about him. He was hurt because of her, because of McFadden's vendetta against her.

"Sure." Captain Crane watched Jane as she rocked in the chair she sat in across the desk from him. "We'll need to get our people up to speed first, the FBI that will be arriving and the locals that have been working the Morris abduction."

Jane stopped her movements, making it a point to stare down the seemingly caring captain. He wasn't her boss, her really had no authority over her except that this was his house, his town. She knew it was expected she would cooperate with what was now their investigation as well. "Sir, could mabe somebody else lead that briefing, I…I'm really not feeling well.

"Were you hurt, Rizzoli? Do you need to be checked out?" Crane motioned for the FBI agents to enter his office upon their arrival. HE didn't wait for an answer from Jane, which was good because she didn't want to give him one.

It was close to seven by the time Jane finished explaining and hypothesizing McFadden's previous actions and possible subsequent moves. Her throat was sore, her voice raw. It was so cold in the precinct and Jane wondered how the detectives and officers were without jackets. Jane refused to take hers off despite the sweat that she could feel running down her back. She was relieved to see Korsak, Frost and Brady's partner arrive, almost as if their arrival was the permission she needed to get back to the hospital.

Jane stood next to Brady's beside trying not to curse at the arrogant son of a bitch. She gave him some allowance, due to injury, but she knew it wouldn't be long before they shared words. "I told you to get off scene. You really don't know how to respect authority." Brady's words were clipped as he was angry. Not at her, although it was fine with him if she believed he was.

"Yeah, well as much as I wanted to, I couldn't leave you open for further gunfire." Jane could see that Brady was frustrated, but his emotions couldn't compare to hers.

"I couldn't see where he was shooting from. How do we know for sure it was even him?" How do we know the bullet was intended for me?" Brady eyed Jane, enjoying watching her mind work through her eyes.

Jane knew what he was getting at. "It wasn't intended for me, we know that much." Jane's voice was suddenly strong.

"Do we?" Brady wasn't as convinced as Jane was that McFadden would stick to a plan that was only assumed by law enforcement. He certainly wasn't obligated to follow his so called plan.

"I do." Brady wished he hadn't come off the way he did with Jane in the beginning. She was on her game despite the personal and professional threat McFadden was to her. He watched her head out of his room as if she were determined to stop him herself if necessary.

Jane offered a weak smile to Samantha's parents as she entered the girl's hospital room. She could see they were grateful for the safe return of their daughter and she hated that they wanted to thank her. She was quick to introduce herself and proceed into small talk to avoid declining the gratitude she didn't deserve. Jane didn't find their daughter for them, McFadden found Jane. Jane asked to speak with the girl alone and was surprisingly relieved when her parents conceded.

Samantha eyed Jane, watching her every move as the exhausted detective pulled a chair close to the bed. "Hi, I'm Jane. Can we talk for a little bit?" Jane was nervous, she was not very good with kids; at least she believed she was lacking in that category.

'He said he was going to take me to you. You are a police officer, right?" Jane couldn't pull her eyes from the traumatized girl's.

"Yes. I'm a detective actually." Jane realized she needed to let Samantha talk to her.

"He said he has known you a long time and that you would take care of me." Jane was slightly confused.

"Sam, I know he hurt your belly. Did he hurt you anywhere else?" Jane tried to keep her voice as soft as possible.

"No, he was very nice to me. Told me not to cry, that he would let me go home as soon as you got into town." Samantha looked into Jane's eyes, tears forming as she continued. "He said he didn't want to hurt me, but then he did."

Jane pulled the girl into her chest and let her cry. She knew what Samantha was referring to. The pain that she remembered when she awoke to McFadden carving her abdomen was easily remembered. Samantha eventually pulled away from Jane. "I was supposed to tell you something when I saw you, but I was too tired."

"You can tell me now." Jane gave Samantha an encouraging smile.

"He said there was no such thing as color damage. He doesn't make mistakes." Samantha closed her eyes, while Jane smoothed her hair back. Color damage? Jane watched as the young girl drifted off, thankful that McFadden chose to spare her.

She was glad that Samantha's parents waited until they did to return. She thanked them and accepted the undeserving gratitude they were insistent on giving her. Korsak and Frost were waiting for her at the end of the hall as she slowly made her way towards them.

"Where's Maura?" Jane seemed alarmed, even though she knew there would be no real reason for her to make the trip.

"She's fine, Jane." Korsak tried to read his unreadable former partner.

"Color damage." Jane mumbled more to herself. She looked up at Korsak and then over to Frost. "What do you suppose he meant by that?"

"Was this a message?" Frost apprehensive voice flooded Jane's head causing her to breathe quicker.

"Yes, he told Samantha to tell me there was no such thing as color damage." Jane rubbed her temples ignoring the fact she had barely slept in two days.

"Collateral damage. There is no such thing as collateral damage." Korsak slapped the wall as the frustration of being humiliated by McFadden was getting to him.

Jane looked at Frost before reaching out to touch Korsak's arm. "He doesn't make mistakes. Brady wasn't collateral damage. It was intentional. He shot my partner again."

There was an uncomfortable silence among the Boston detectives. Jane kept her eyes on Korsak as he carefully watched her. The realization that McFadden was intent on repeating history exactly made Jane shiver despite her heavy jacket being zipped nearly to her neck. "Korsak, do you mind following up back at the precinct with Captain Crane and friends?" I really need to go back to the hotel. I'm tired."

"You think that's a good idea? He knows you were staying there." Frost spoke up noticing the effects this McFadden guy was having on both Rizzoli and Korsak.

"It really doesn't matter. He knows where I am, where I'll be and how to get to me. He calls the shots, I just play along." Jane wasn't even trying to one up McFadden and that concerned Korsak. "Besides, he'll be letting us know shortly that he has victim number six."

Jane turned and walked away from her partners. She caught a ride with a uniform who was heading back to his precinct. Detective status had it's privileges up here in Michigan as well as back home in Boston. She was careful not to interfere with CSU as they combed the scene back at the hotel. McFadden's car was still there and had been dusted for prints and turned inside out. Jane shook her head. They wouldn't find anything McFadden didn't want them to find.

Jane returned to the room she had briefly shared with Brady. It seemed like forever ago that she had relaxed enough to fall asleep. Everywhere she went the cold penetrated her body, her senses. Her hands ached terribly as she began to undress. She thought better of it and climbed into bed still in her jeans. She hurt. Her body had had enough and it was telling her just that. Jane pushed on her abdomen where she had shot herself last year. The area was still so tender despite the work she had put in to get back into perfect physical shape for her demanding position. She pulled her legs up trying to battle against the pain the fatigue caused.

The room was still and quiet. Jane was still and quiet, listening to her thoughts as they prevented her from sleeping. How could she be so exhausted and not be able to sleep. She picked up her phone.

"Jane, are you okay?" Maura had answered on the first ring, surprising Jane.

"Yeah, Maur. Brady got shot last night." Jane's voice was heavy and slow as she spoke. She knew Maura would have already been filled in, but she needed to talk to her. She needed to talk to someone she knew understood her.

"I know. You got the girl, that's good right?" Maura sounded tired herself and Jane wondered if she wasn't sleeping much either.

"Yeah, she'll be okay, I guess. He marked her." Jane's voice cracked against her best attempts to stay even. "I didn't find her, Maura, McFadden gave her back."

"Are you okay, Jane? You sound like you're in a lot of pain." Maura was very in tune to Jane, especially lately.

"Just tired." There was a long silence and Maura wondered if Jane hadn't fallen asleep. "I can't beat him. I can't. I have to wait until he comes for me and hope I can beat him then."

"You're in no condition to take him on, Jane. He'll kill you this time." Maura hated how defeated Jane sounded.

"He's killing me some each time he hurts another woman, Maura." Jane's speech was slowing with each word. Maura didn't answer, just listened to Jane's breathing as it deepened. She was both relieved and worried that Jane fell asleep on the phone.

Duncan McFadden loved the cold. He knew his latest victim didn't as she shivered against it violently. "This won't take long, sweetheart." McFadden began the precise incisions into Debra White's pale skin. He broke the young woman, he raped her and then he claimed her. The he killed her by methodically squeezing his hand around her throat. This was so easy.

"Jane Rizzoli, please." McFadden knew he had called Korsak's phone, he didn't make mistakes.

"She unavailable right now. Who is this?" Korsak motioned to Frost that he believed to have McFadden on the line.

"It's Duncan. It's been a while, Detective." McFadden knew they would be able to trace his call. The landline he was calling from would lead them right to victim number six.

"You called me for a reason. Talk." Korsak hated that McFadden had all the power right now.

"Okay, could you please deliver a message to Officer Rizzoli for me?" McFadden paused for exactly ten seconds. Korsak didn't miss the calculated pause in his speech. "Six down, three to go. Then it will be show time. Detective Rizzoli will answer for stopping me. She will pay, Sergeant."

"Where is number six, McFadden." Korsak was powerless and there was nothing he could do to change that.

"You'll find her when you dump your phone. In the meantime I will be dreaming of he day when I will break Rizzoli for good. Chow." Korsak slowly closed his cell phone, handing it over to the techs that would give them the location of the sixth victim.

"Frost, come on. Let's go wake Jane."


	10. Chapter 10

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 10

I don't own R and I.

Maura tried to concentrate on her work. There were other cases that needed definitive answers. Other detectives working other cases that needed to know the exact cause of death of their victims. There were other murderers roaming the streets of Boston that required the Boston Homicide Division to show at least a little more than a passing interest. Truth be told, the entire division was concentrated on Duncan McFadden and what was quickly shaping up to be the inevitable showdown with Jane Rizzoli.

It was the tone of Jane's voice when she talked to her earlier that unnerved Maura the most. It was almost as if she were accepting that McFadden controlled her, her actions, her decisions. Jane was exhausted and Maura recognized the obvious source of Jane's recent demeanor. It was the less obvious causes of Jane's distress that was worrying Maura now.

Korsak knocked lightly on the hotel door to Jane's room. He shook his head at himself as he remembered he was there to actually wake her up. He banged harder, knowing that should do it. Jane pulled the door open quickly with a murderous glare reserved specifically for her former partner. "I heard you the first time."

"Sorry. You look like hell, Rizzoli." Korsak pushed by her into the room followed closely by Frost who gave her an apologetic smile.

"Thank you, Korsak. Need I ask why you're here so early in the morning?" Jane turned and headed back to her bed where she collapsed back down onto it.

"It's actually six in the evening and you probably don't need to ask." Korsak wandered around the room, looking as if searching for something. He stopped at the window, just barely pulling the curtains aside to see out.

Jane sighed out loud before pushing to her feet. "Where?"

"You're going to love this. He called from a landline." Korsak shot a look towards Frost as Jane began to pace. She was favoring her right side and it was noticeable despite her best efforts to mask any pain she was feeling.

"That was intentional." Jane caught the look from Korsak. "What?"

"Were you hurt last night? When Brady was shot?" Korsak was nothing if not protective of Jane.

"No. Where is she?"

"It's a house, just inside Hell's city limits. Belonged to the McFadden family years ago before it was sold. Father was a business man who eventually relocated his family to Boston." Korsak continued after getting confirmation that Jane was following him. "Records show the house has been abandoned for quite a few years now, current owners keep up on the taxes, but live elsewhere."

"Connection to McFadden?" Jane stopped walking and sat to put her shoes on.

"Doubtful, but we're looking into it." Frost had been silent since his arrival. It was evident in his expressions that he was aware Jane was off. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he was sure it was more than just the stress of the case that was bugging her.

"There are units in route now, Jane. He's leading us straight to his sixth victim. Intentionally." Korsak emphasized the word Jane had used earlier.

Jane ran her hands through her hair. "Do I have time for a quick shower?"

Korsak shrugged. "Take your time, she's not going anywhere."

It was at Korsak's words that Jane realized she hadn't even asked if victim number six had been killed. She just assumed and Korsak's flip answer had confirmed her assumptions. He was killing the women and leaving the children alive. Jane wondered if there was indeed a pattern forming, but decided no when she remembered Devany James. Victim number three who had intentionally crashed her car into Jane's.

Jane let the hot water pour over her body. It was so cold here. The winter temperature didn't vary much from Boston, but the atmosphere was definitely colder. Jane made the water hotter hoping it would manage to warm her. She shook as she grew colder despite the steam that flooded the small hotel bathroom.

Jane arrived on scene with Korsak and Frost in tow. The Jackson city medical examiner was already on scene and Jane studied her carefully. She was efficient and thorough, as was expected in her position. She spoke much like Maura when describing her findings. Jane heard her speaking to her, but wasn't listening. Not really. She knew what she needed to know before ever arriving. Strangled, raped, marked. Of course she allowed the ME to fill her in as that was her job.

Jane missed Maura's presence; both as their ME and her friend. This was the sixth victim in less than a week, all harmed because McFadden wanted her. Jane moved closer to the victim studying the innocent look on her lifeless face. Jane slowly pulled her eyes away and watched her hands as they lifted the woman's shirt. Sure enough. JR #6.

The scene was processed like any other. Prints were dusted for, waste of time. House and yard was taped off, waste of time. Victim was bagged and removed. Routine. Jane sat outside on the front step leading into the house. Her thoughts were crowding her head, making it that much harder to concentrate on anything.

Jane reached for her phone as she realized she hadn't heard it at first. "Rizzoli."

"Why so sad, Detective." Jane wondered if she would recognize McFadden's voice and now she knew she did.

Jane looked around with only her eyes, she could feel his presence now that he was on the phone with her. "Where are you?" Jane tried to control her voice which forced it lower than usual.

"Did you know when you're scared, your voice changes." Jane listened to McFadden's light laughter. "It's kind of sexy actually."

"Why are you doing this? Just come after me already. Why hurt these girls?" Jane heard the sound of her voice and it made her nauseous having to plead with McFadden in any way.

"Oh, I will love. Be patient. We will have our time together." Jane listened to the dead air, but knew he was still there. She motioned for Korsak to come over and he instantly knew who she was talking to. "Don't bother, Jane. You know this will be untraceable."

Jane rubbed her face with her free hand. "What is it then? What do you want me to do beside find all your victims?" The frustration was full in Jane's voice as she waited for McFadden to answer.

"I want you to release my son, for starters."

"Not going to happen." Jane's voice was strong despite the fact she was feeling anything but.

"Now Jane. You know you can't hold him forever. He's not involved in this at all."

Jane believed that Dylan wasn't involved, at least not directly. "He assaulted a police officer for starters."

"You would've charged him already. He scares you, doesn't he, Jane." McFadden's laughter was suddenly haunting.

"No." Jane stood finally out of patience. "Come on, McFadden. Shoot me now, get this over with." Jane raised her hands to allow for a full body shot. Korsak pushed her back into the house knowing she was ready to lose it.

"You know that's not how I work, sweetheart." McFadden's tone was serious now, causing Jane to listen carefully. "I want my son out now. Understand, Detective?"

Jane wanted to ask or what, but knew better. "Then what?"

"Then you'll be a hero for a bit." McFadden's voice softened. "This sweet little girl will come see you and be able to say Hi."

"You have number seven." Jane choked on her words as she swiped at a single tear that fell without permission. "Where is she?"

"She's in Hell, just like you." McFadden laughed hard this time causing the anger to build within Jane. She listened carefully to McFadden's words as she spoke slowly. "What do you think of the Jackson City ME?"

Jane looked around the room, realizing she was gone along with the victim. "Why, are you telling me she's the next victim?"

"Now, Jane. Would you give your cards away? No, you wouldn't. Do you think she's as smart as your Dr. Isles? As experienced?"

Jane's heart rate picked up drastically at the mention of Maura. She fought to control her emotions. She couldn't risk McFadden hanging up now. " I think she's more than capable of doing her job. Why do you ask, Duncan."

" I love the way my name sounds coming from you. I'll have to remember that." Jane closed her eyes tight against his suggestion.

"Why, McFadden?" Jane was intentional with her questioning now. She was pissed that McFadden had her spinning, worrying even more.

"Do you think Dr. Isles is smart?" Duncan talked as if they had all day. And they did, if he said they did.

"Very."

"Do you think she's smart enough?' McFadden taunted with his tone and Jane had had enough.

"Don't you go near her, McFadden." Jane began the quick pacing that was meant to calm her.

"Jane, you can't stop me. You know that, I know that." Duncan paused for effect which was so his style. "If you leave and go back to Boston, this child will not live like the other children have. If you stay, I hope Dr. Isles doesn't die like the other women have."

Jane slid down the wall into a sitting position. "Why are you doing this? Please don't do this." Jane didn't care that she was begging now.

"Now, come on Jane. They'll be plenty of time for begging later." Jane jumped as the line went dead. She dropped her phone onto the floor and buried her face in her arms as they rested on her knees.

Korsak pulled her to her feet. "Talk to me, what's going on."

Jane wanted to give up. She couldn't fight him and he was rubbing that sobering fact in her face at every opportunity. "I don't know what to do. He's threatening Maura, he's threatening the little girl he's got now."

Jane knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to get back to make sure Maura was safe. She knew Cavenaugh would make sure she had police protection, but Jane knew it had to be her to make sure Maura was not McFadden's next victim. "Vince, make sure Dylan McFadden is still in custody. Something tells me he's not."

Jane dialed Maura's number and felt an instant sense of relief when she answered. "Jane, how's it going?"

"That's kind of like asking how was the funeral." Jane tried to disguise the worry in her voice.

"Jane, what's going on?" Maura didn't miss much when it came to Jane.

"Maura, could you come here. Maybe work with the ME here in Jackson." Jane wasn't sure if that was the best solution, but she had to find a way to get Maura closer to her. McFadden wouldn't come for her until he had number eight and nine. Jane couldn't stand the thought of Maura being one of those numbers.

"Sure, Jane, If you think I could help. I take it victim number six was found?"

"Yeah, that's where I am now. He's already got number seven…a child." Jane hated the way her voice wavered. McFadden was right, it changed when she was scared.

"I'll let Cavenaugh know what's going on. Bring a few of Brady's friends with you. You know, all hands on deck." Jane hoped Maura hadn't caught on, but she knew how smart she was.

Jane put her phone away, subconsciously adjusting her holster and gun as it hadn't moved from it's place on her hip. Frost stepped in front of Jane as she started to make her way outside. She knew the stance and braced for the announcement.

"They released Dylan McFadden from custody. He made bail on the assault charge. That's all we had to hold him on." Frost watched a variety of emotions cross Jane's face.

"When?" Jane's voice was foreign to even her now.

"This morning." Korsak's angry, frustrated voice was behind Jane now. "He's been out of custody for nearly ten hours now. My guess is McFadden knows this."

"Of course he does." Jane pulled open the front door with whatever strength she had. She barely registered it slamming into the wall as she made her way out into the darkness of Hell.


	11. Chapter 11

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 11

I don't own R and I.

Jane rubbed her hands violently, wringing them together as she marched back and forth in front of the car they arrived in. McFadden was nothing if not confident and he was enjoying this more than any sane man should. That there was the problem, Duncan McFadden was crazy. Actually he was simply sick, crazy usually meant careless and he definitely wasn't careless about anything. The wind picked up and Jane felt her body stiffen against the harsh chill it brought with it. Her mind was on each of McFadden's victims and now the little girl he called number seven.

Jane let her body rest up against the car. She could feel the cold of the unforgiving steel as it stung her through her jeans. She absorbed the brutal cold and threatening wind as her mind stayed specifically with McFadden's threat against Maura. Jane was truly absorbing the guilt and responsibility for each of the six women harmed so far as well as the young seventh. She felt the ache and even the pain every time she lifted the clothing to see the expected signature carved into each of them.

Jane had tucked her hands into her pockets, they ached bad today. She hadn't brought a warm enough coat, she should've known better. Still she stood against the car, letting the cold, harsh, winter wind punish her for losing so miserably at this game against Duncan McFadden.

"Ready?" Jane hadn't even realized Korsak and Frost were surrounding her. Her partners blocked the wind, making Jane a little less willing to move right away.

"Is Maura on the way?" Jane surprisingly found it hard to look into Korsak's eyes when she spoke.

Korsak was very aware of the effects the case was having on Jane. He looked at Frost who took the cue and let himself into the car from the other side. Korsak carefully placed his fingers under Jane's chin to force her to look up at him. "None of this is your fault. None of it!"

Jane responded to the harsher tone. "He's threatening Maura now, Vince. What am I going to do? I won't be able to…what if he…shit, shit, shit!"

Korsak quickly grabbed Jane's arms to control her unexpected fit. "He won't. She's safe and she's coming with a full escort."

Jane slowly pulled from Korsak's hold and began to rub her temples. "I don't know if that was the right move. He's here, maybe she'd be safer back home."

"Is that what you think? Your gut said to bring her here, why are you second guessing now?" Korsak watched as the cold wind seem to actually hurt Jane as she turned against it.

"I just thought that if she was with me, he would be less likely to make her number eight or nine. We all know I'm ten and…" Jane stopped abruptly when Korsak held his hand up.

"That's if he stays with the game plan we assume he has. There are no rules in this, you know that, Jane." Korsak opened the door, encouraging Jane to get into the car and out of the cold.

"Where are we going?" Jane rested her head back against the seat. Korsak looked over at her wondering why she had to even ask. He realized she wasn't on her game at the moment, the phone call from McFadden throwing her instincts and confidence.

Frost already had the address punched into the GPS and sat quietly studying his partner. He admired Jane Rizzoli and he took their partnership seriously. He was not as familiar with the Duncan McFadden case as Korsak was, but he was very aware of the effects it had on the both of them. He worried about how defeated Jane's demeanor was now and found himself more and more concerned as the anticipated showdown neared. He, himself would not have chosen to have Maura brought here, but he was not Jane Rizzoli. He couldn't begin to understand how her mind worked, he could only hope to keep up.

"Christy Marks, age twelve. About twelve miles from here." Frost offered up the information quickly hoping Jane would be able to hold it together when she found out McFadden broke pattern.

"How? He was just here. Had to be… on the phone, he…what the hell!" Jane slammed her fist into the dashboard in front of her.

"She was left out in the open. Witnesses called immediately." Frost continued, checking Korsak's eyes in the rearview mirror for guidance.

"Okay." Jane worked to regroup and regain her composure. "At least he didn't leave her out in this cold with no hope of getting help."

Korsak pulled over to the side of the road and came to a complete stop. He waited until Jane angrily looked over at him, pissed at for him not hurrying to get to the scene. "He killed her, Jane. He broke pattern."

Jane stared at Korsak for a long few moments before turning to face the opposite window. She jumped slightly when he placed his hand on her shoulder. The car was silent as Jane struggled to accept that she was no match for McFadden. He would kill at will, all to retaliate for her stopping him years ago.

"Let's go." Jane's voice was weak and if either man heard the break in it, they had no intention of calling her on it.

Jane carefully approached the officers and detectives already on scene. She let her badge grant her access to the young victim who was covered, yet still lying on the ground where she was left by McFadden. She looked around at the officers talking with who she realized were many witnesses. She counted on them and her own team members to get the specifics, right now she needed to get a look at the victim. It wouldn't matter as far as stopping McFadden, but she had to at least acknowledge her. It was all she could do for the young girl now that she couldn't protect her.

Jane knelt on the hard, cold pavement and pulled back the sheet that covered the small form in front of her. She was initially startled as Christy's eyes were wide open and staring intently into hers. Jane quickly checked for a pulse, realizing instantly that she was hoping for a miracle, some relief. McFadden had strangled the child and she died staring into the eyes of the monster that claimed her. Jane stared back into the pretty little girl's bright blue eyes, wishing she could have done something to spare her any of the fear she felt before dying. Reluctantly she placed her hand over the girls face, forcing her eyes closed. The small gesture tore into the weary detective as if it were her that extinguished the life out of such a sweet child.

"Jane!" Frost called from a few yards away. "Possible sighting just a few blocks from here."

Jane stood to her full height and stared at Frost. "No, Frost. He won't be caught, not tonight."

"We have to try. Full description, it's him." Frost closed the distance quickly. "Come on, Jane. For her, we have to try." Frost pointed at the form Jane had just recovered.

"Dammit, Barry. Send the uniforms, local detectives. I chase him, he gets to Maura. I know it, I feel it." Jane pushed her finger into Frost's chest hard before realizing how scared she sounded.

Frost took a hold of Jane's hand, stopping her from ranting. "Maura's safe. We will all make sure."

"McFadden can't be stopped. Don't you see that?" Jane glanced toward Christy's form once again. "He threatened to kill her if I left Michigan. I didn't leave and he killed her. That means he knows Maura is coming here. He's telling me that he intends to make her a victim." Jane grabbed her head with both hands in an act of frustration. "I need to know where she is. Frost, please find out for me."

Jane listened to the sirens as the local police headed out to check the lead on McFadden. She closed her eyes, and let the wind rock her as she crossed her arms across her chest. She was doubting herself terribly now. Putting Maura on the move was definitely not the right thing to do. Jane cursed herself for risking Maura in this way. She just thought she would be able to protect her better this way, but was realizing she couldn't protect anybody against Duncan McFadden. If he wanted Maura, he won't most likely get her. Jane knelt back down next to the little girl. She thought about the girls parents and how it would feel to lose a child, especially this way. Jane slid her right hand into the waistband of her jeans. She knew exactly where to find the raised skin where McFadden had attempted to claim her. She was riding a very thin fence. One second she was defeated that she had been marked in much the same way as these women and girls. Then she felt empowered that not only had she survived, but she stopped the sick son of a bitch.

Korsak was soon standing in front of Jane, answering her unasked question with a simple shrug. No, the lead had not panned out, despite the physical description being accurate. It was definitely McFadden, hanging around just long enough to challenge Jane. "Let's get back to the precinct, let the locals wrap up here."

Jane accepted Korsak's hand as she found it difficult to stand fully erect. "What's going on with you? Are you hurt, Jane?"

"No." Jane's answer was quick causing Korsak's to stop her movements. "Just the weather, the case, you know. Come on, Korsak, cut me a break."

"Our boys have arrived at the precinct with Maura. Maybe you relax a bit now." Korsak knew there would be no relaxing until McFadden was caught, but he hoped seeing Maura would help Jane at least some.

Jane arrived at the precinct, quickly making her way into the captain's office. She immediately spotted Maura who had stood to greet her. The concerned look on Maura's face made Jane stop before reaching her best friend.

"You okay, Maur?" Jane looked from Maura, to Captain Crane before shooting her eyes back to Maura.

"I'm fine, Jane." Maura wondered how Jane was still standing. She was pale and looked beyond exhausted.

"Why don't you guys head back to the hotel. There will be security on every way in and out. Get some rest, Rizzoli or you will not be permitted to work this case." Captain Crane stood forcing Jane to remember just how tall he really was.

"I have to work this case…sir." Jane suddenly realized she was only here as a courtesy. Crane called the shots here in Hell.

"Don't make me…" Crane stopped when Maura quickly grabbed Jane's hand, leading her from the office.

"What are you doing. He needs me on this and he knows it. Everybody knows it. I don't need him telling me…" Jane was frustrated and needed to vent. Maura recognized this and knew Jane needed her here for a reason.

"Jane, come on. He just wants you to rest. It's late, lets try to get some sleep." Maura ran her hands up Jane's arms, the gesture not wasted despite the detective's preoccupation with the FBI agents that were closing in on them.

"Well, here's our chaperones now. Just what we need, friggin' babysitters." Jane didn't bother to even try to mask her frustrated temper as she cursed her way out of the precinct.

"She can be a bit intense at times." Maura offered an unnecessary apology to the agents who then escorted her out to meet Jane in the dark, cold Michigan night.

Maura lied still in the bed across from Jane. She was truly worried about Jane but knew she wouldn't be able to fully express how much; at least not right now. She listened to the uneven breathing that was coming from a few feet away in the otherwise quiet room. Maura hated that Jane was so consumed with guilt that she was forgetting to take care of herself. She doubted she had eaten anything in days now and it was obvious she hadn't slept much if at all. Maura listened as Jane wrestled with the bed sheets, trying to get comfortable.

"Maura?"

"I'm here, Jane." Maura wondered if Jane had even fallen asleep at all.

"I lied to you. I didn't want you back home in Boston with McFadden son out and about." Jane really just needed to see for herself that Maura was safe.

"I know. It's okay, whatever you need." Maura needed to see for herself that Jane was okay was well.

"I'm afraid he will try to take you. There are two more left before he tries for me." Jane corrected herself. "If he sticks to the pattern."

"I think they got it covered, Jane. There are officers outside right now." Maura could hear how scared and nervous Jane really was.

"No, if that's his plan, he will." Jane took a deep breath before spitting out what was on her mind. "I won't let that happen, Maura. I will kill him, or die trying."

Maura got out of bed quickly making her way over to Jane's bed. "Jane you have to realize there are other officers here. Other detectives. Korsak, Frost. None of them will let anything happen to either of us."

"He will not stop Maura until he gets me. I accept that, but I can't handle any more deaths. Any more women because of me. I can't handle…him hurting you." Jane's voice trailed off as the tears started.

Maura climbed under the covers next to Jane. She didn't push, didn't talk. Just let Jane cry softly until she heard her breathing even out. Jane was finally sleeping, but Maura could tell as she studied the sleeping detective, that this was no where near a peaceful sleep.

"It sure is cold here in Hell, isn't it Doctor?" McFadden's voice was haunting as she stared down into the eyes of the Jackson city medical examiner. He knew she wouldn't answer, he made it so she couldn't.

He let his hands run over the attractive woman's body as she shivered against the harsh cold air. McFadden laughed as the terror in the woman's eyes excited him. "I told Rizzoli and she protected the wrong one. I win again."

Maura shifted at the ringing of Jane's phone. She glanced at Jane who had not even stirred until it had rung almost five times. "Rizzoli."

"Hello, beautiful. I apologize for waking you. You must be so exhausted." McFadden waited until Jane responded with a groan as she forced herself into a sitting position.

"It would serve you better if you listened just a bit better to what I tell you. You have Dr. Isles with you, yes?" McFadden's small chuckle forced a quick heat to run through Jane's body.

"You know I do." Jane looked briefly at Maura before closing her eyes against McFadden's announcement.

"Well, I now have the one I told you I would get next. Well…had the one." McFadden laughed loudly enough for Maura to hear through Jane's phone.

"Fuck! Fuck! Why?" Jane was beyond angry.

"Jane, now now. Calm down and listen to me." Jane found it hard to get a deep breath in as she feared hyperventilating. Maura's hand on her back seemed to help. "There is only one more to go before you and I will reunite. I am so looking forward to it."

Jane continued to listen after she was sure McFadden had hung up. He didn't tell her anything. Did he? Did he and she just didn't catch it? Jane snapped her phone shut before slinging it across the room. It smashed against the wall causing Jane to swear about that as well.

It was as if Jane had forgotten Maura was in the room with her as she carried on a one sided conversation with herself. She cursed, she cried, she yelled. She grabbed her head with her hands in an attempt to calm down. Her eyes met Maura, who had tears in her own as she watched Jane lose control.

"He killed number eight. He killed the Jackson city M.E. I protected the wrong one. He told me, Maura. On the phone, he told me and I thought he meant you." Jane knew in her head that McFadden would have taken whichever one she didn't protect.

Jane sat back down on the bed next to Maura. She let Dr. Isles wrap her arms around her and let her hold her until it was Maura's phone that rang. "They probably will want you to help, now that they are short one M.E. here in Hell." Jane left Maura to her call as she limped her way into the bathroom.


	12. Chapter 12

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 12

I don't own R and I.

Rebeckah Debouis was an attractive woman, maybe late thirties early forties, tops. Jane watched as Maura officially pronounced the Jackson County M.E. She wondered how Maura could operate so methodically at each crime scene she reported to. If it weren't for the frequent glances her way, Jane would believe that Maura felt no emotion at all for the victims she was called on to assess. She had a job to do and she was there to do it; not much grey area at all, if any. That's the way it had to be, therefore that's the way it was.

Jane was there to investigate yet another homicide. Yet another victim of Duncan McFadden. There wasn't a whole lot to investigate, there was no mystery to solve, no guesswork involved. Duncan McFadden was your killer. Rebeckah Debouis your victim and Jane Rizzoli your reason. Jane shook her head as Maura prepared to pull out the neatly tucked shirt from Rebeckah's skirt. She didn't need to see what she knew was already there. The blood soaking through onto Rebeckah's clothes had already alerted Jane to the fact that she too had been marked. Jane didn't want to see McFadden's infamous signature, didn't need to see it to know that he had claimed number eight. Instead she watched Maura as she took in the sight and confirmed what Jane needed for the report anyway.

Nausea threatened as Jane watched the officers and detectives milling around the scene. The familiar sights, sounds and smells that came with investigating a homicide scene were the very things making Jane feel sick. It wasn't long before all her thoughts were on how long she had to make it out the front door. Timing was often everything and this would be no exception. Jane swung the front door of Rebeckah's home open allowing a face full of frigid Michigan night air to invade her senses. The temperature did nothing to stop the sweat as it formed on Jane's face while she violently heaved into the grass of the front yard. Her body shook from the vomiting as well as the cold. She sensed someone walking up behind her and was quick to identify her partner.

"Not a word, Frost."

"I wouldn't dare." Frost was kidding but there was very little humor in his voice. He saw how Jane gripped her gun tight when she sensed him coming up behind her. She kept her hand on the holstered piece even while she vomited some more. "You alright, Jane?"

Jane glanced up at Frost with a irritated look. "Do I look alright, Detective?"

"Why don't you go on back to the hotel. There's not much more we can do here, anyway." Frost offered Jane his hand. He knew the frozen ground had to be hell on her knees.

"Have to wait for Maura. She'll probably be heading to the M.E.'s office with the body." Jane wiped the sweat from her face with her hands.

"Korsak will make sure she get there. Come on, I'll get you back to the hotel." Frost pulled Jane to her feet when she accepted is hand.

"No, Frost. I have to stay with her. I can't give him an opportunity to take her." Jane lifted her face, allowing the cold wind to cool her internal temperature. "As long as she's with me, he'll have to pick another victim for number nine."

Jane closed her eyes as soon as she made the comment. Yeah, she would keep Maura safe, but she couldn't protect everybody. Or anybody for that matter. McFadden would make his decision and there would be nothing she would be able to do about it. "Give me a minute?"

Frost glanced around the immediate area as Jane lowered herself back down to her knees. He was worried. There was only one victim left before McFadden made his move on his partner. Of course, this was according to McFadden's plan. Subject to change at his discretion. This case was beyond frustrating and he felt more than helpless as he stood back watching Jane drowning in the stress of it. If she was worried about the ultimate showdown she wasn't addressing it. McFadden had her spinning so that she was truly at his mercy. She would never admit that he had her beat, but her actions were proving otherwise.

Dylan McFadden had made it to Hell as the huge lake just inside city limits had frozen over. Michigan winters were always brutal, but for some reason it was colder than he remembered for this time of year. Jane Rizzoli had gotten to him in a way he hadn't expected. Detective Rizzoli had asked him for help and he couldn't help but imagine the possibilities. His father was wearing her down and that much was obvious when she all but begged him to help her. She would never speak such words, but her eyes pleaded with him to help . That's what he saw anyway. How ironic not long after she arrived here trying to track down his father, he was released from custody. Not enough evidence to charge him as an accomplice. Maybe. Or maybe Detective Rizzoli had arranged for him to be available. Yes, that was most likely how things went down. He could tell by the way she sized him up when she interrogated him. He could tell the way her eyes took all of him in. There were definite possibilities. He had to find his father, and for her, he would.

"Jane." Korsak's voice sounded impatient when Jane finally heard him causing her to wonder why. He had been calling her, but she hadn't heard him despite the fact he wasn't but a few yards from her. Jane closed her eyes against the dizziness that prevented her from standing. She was definitely sick and longed to lie down. Preferably in her bed, back in her home, in Boston. She would take some time when this was over. She needed to. She would take some time and figure out what she needed to do. She found herself wondering more and more if she had had enough of the hell she saw daily. She was coming unglued inside and it was a very confusing sensation. She doubted her abilities, which made her afraid. She couldn't be afraid, not in this world, not if she wanted to survive.

"What?" Jane's voice held just as much impatience as she had heard from Korsak. Jane got to her feet, struggling to straighten out her stance. Her whole body ached and she forced herself to concentrate on Korsak.

"He's got his number nine already." Korsak reached out for Jane as she seemed to stumble backward at his words. "Jane, lets get you checked out. You're obviously not well."

"I'm fine, Korsak. Let me guess, a child." Jane adjusted her gun and her clothing as she prepared to find Maura. The immediate threat against Maura was most likely over, at the expense of a child. Jane let Korsak lead her back into Rebeckah's house where Maura was preparing to leave with the body.

"Are you okay?" Maura had seen Jane leave suddenly and had been informed as to what was happening out on the front lawn. Maura had a way of asking the same question that everybody else asked without irritating Jane. Jane knew she didn't expect an answer; any answer given would've been dismissed anyway. Maura paid attention to Jane, felt she had to because the detective was refusing to listen to her own body. Jane was quickly closing in on early retirement if she didn't give herself a break. Maura recognized this, Jane knew this and Duncan McFadden was counting on it.

He watched Jane as she gave in to her exhaustion and frustrations. He watched as she snapped at her coworkers and looked towards the heavens for help. He was pleased at the defeat that defined her stance, her posture, her being. Jane Rizzoli had been a formidable opponent all those years ago. She not only interrupted him, she had stopped him. She was good, even back then when she was so young. She's good at what she does now, he admitted that as he watched her interact with her partner. Refusing to give up when she knows she's losing miserably. He liked that about her. He liked how she continued to fight even when there was no fight left in her. She scared him, that much he would admit. She was the one that beat him, once. It wasn't her training, or the luck of the draw that put him behind bars that day. It was simply her nature and that was what he was trying to destroy now. He would destroy her, then claim her. He would then be free of the hell she subjected him to. He would then be free.

"Amanda Harris, age six. Reported missing late last night." Jane listened to the particulars. He grabbed a younger girl than his other child victims. According to the reported call, McFadden either had this girl before killing he M.E. or immediately thereafter. The chaos in the station house began as detectives and uniforms prepared to search for and hopefully rescue yet another child. Jane sipped her coffee slowly, quietly as she tried to block out the normal hustle and bustle of crime fighting. It didn't matter what they did. She knew it, most likely so did they. "We have to try." Frost's words were echoing in her head as she waited for the coffee to warm her inside. Nothing seemed to be able to stop the subtle shaking that was raking through Jane's body.

It finally dawned on her that she would be McFadden's next intended victim. He snatched defenseless children and unsuspecting women at will, but he had to know it wouldn't be quite as easy to get to an armed, trained, homicide detective. Jane pulled her gun from her side, checked it thoroughly before replacing it. Of course it was loaded, that hadn't changed. She massaged her hands, one then the other hoping the constant aching that often accompanied the cold weather would subside just a bit so that she would be sure to have a firm grip on her gun. If she needed it, when she needed it.

Jane thought about her brother. He made her proud. He made her worry. He was now a detective awaiting assignment. Seemed like forever ago, she attended his ceremony. It had only been days, but time was heavy right now. Jane wanted to call him, just to tell him to be careful. Just to tell him that it'll be worth the stress, the pain, the tears. It would all seem worth it for awhile anyway. There'll be a period where you'll feel as though you're making a difference, that you're important, that what you do matters. She didn't call. She didn't want to hear his voice right now. He would be worried as he was well aware of the McFadden case and the history behind it. She didn't want to risk telling him how it really didn't matter anymore. How she just wanted to come home and lie down in her bed. How she wanted to sleep for days at a time. Sleep without seeing the monsters that even while gone terrorized her. She didn't want to tell him maybe he should go into the family business after all. Plumbing had to be more satisfying than chasing down animals that wanted nothing more than to claim what you are, who you are. Monsters that only lived to destroy you.

"Tell me what you need, Jane." Maura's voice was just strong enough to pull her from terrorizing herself any further. Jane looked over at her friend who had managed to pull up a chair and position herself just to the right without Jane even noticing. Some instincts she had right now. McFadden would have no problem taking her if she didn't even sense somebody moving into her personal space. Maura wasn't just somebody. She felt comfortable in her presence. Ironically, Jane had brought Maura to hell so that she could protect her, keep her safe by having her with her and it was Maura that had Jane feeling safe.

"I need Duncan McFadden stopped…and I don't know how to do it." Jane was very deliberate in her wording. Maura could see the defeat in Jane's eyes as she spoke.

"Tell me what is going on with you. You don't look well at all." Maura wouldn't let Jane off that easy, Jane wouldn't' expect her to.

"I'm exhausted. I'm so tired, Maur. Another child, this one so young. It doesn't matter. Child, woman, none of them deserve this." Jane reached for her coffee, her movements slowed due to her fatigue. The cup tipped as she misjudged the distance, spilling the contents from the table onto the floor. Jane made no attempt to stop the spill nor did she move to react. She watched as the steam quickly disappeared. She figured the coffee was no longer hot as it formed a puddle on the floor by her feet. She looked up at Maura's concerned expression. Maura hadn't moved to attend to the coffee either, instead paying attention to Jane.

"I probably shouldn't have a gun if I can't even hold a coffee cup." Jane smiled at Maura then causing Maura to smile as well. There was nothing remotely funny and they both knew it. Jane got to her feet to begin the distracting chore of cleaning up the coffee. She could've pulled rank and had somebody else get it. She spilled it, she'd clean it up. She stopped him once, she'll stop him again.

Jane remembered how fear felt when it was unexpected. She remembered very clearly how fast it traveled through her body when she realized who was standing in front of her all those years ago. She remembered the pain that she had awoken to at McFadden's hands as he worked to mark her. She remembered the fear that followed her realization that she was McFadden's tenth victim…back then.

"Let me get it." Maura had knelt beside Jane, placing her hand on Jane's to still her. Even Maura knew nothing would help Jane until McFadden was stopped.

"Detective Rizzoli." Both women looked up at the loud voice that infected the noisy squad room. The silence that followed caused Jane's heart to race. She stood along with Maura to face the man that had just entered. Frost immediately stepped in Front of Jane just enough to allow Jane to perform but to offer his assistance if needed.

"Dylan." Jane was confused as she looked at the young girl in his arms. Amanda Harris was scared, of course she was scared.

"I believe this is the girl you've been looking for." Dylan slowly walked towards Jane and handed Amanda to her. The little girl instantly wrapped her arms around Jane's neck, burying her face in the detective's shoulder. Jane turned quickly with the child as Dylan McFadden was immediately tackled and cuffed. Jane handed the traumatized child off to another female officer before redirecting her attention back to Dylan.

"Your going to talk to me…now." Jane motioned for the officers to escort Dylan to an interrogation room. Korsak, Frost and Maura all stared at Jane. Captain Crane stood in front of Jane demanding answers that she didn't have but intended to get. Damn he was tall.

Jane's mind was rolling, she was thinking. She was worrying, she was spinning. Her eyes scanned the room quickly until they fell on Maura's. The two women seemed to share a specific conversation through their eyes alone.

"There's no way this can be this easy." Jane bent to finish cleaning the coffee. Frost was confused as he watched his partner's reaction. He took a step toward her only to be stopped by Maura.

"She's got to clean up the mess first." Maura's words made no sense to Frost, but he didn't question. He stood silently and waited for Jane to finish. When she finished she looked toward her partner.

"Ready? Let's go talk to Junior."


	13. Chapter 13

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 13

I don't own R and I.

Dylan's eyes followed each detective and special agent as they entered the room. He intentionally took his time surveying each officer, refusing to look at Jane until he was ready. His actions didn't go unnoticed, Jane realized he was setting the rules. He was controlling the pace, the tone, the conversation. She was so tired of being controlled by the McFadden family.

Dylan's smile was huge as he fixed his gaze on Korsak. "I assume there was a reward available for finding that sweet little girl?"

"Not for you." Korsak kept his voice flat as he waited for Jane. This was her show and there wasn't anybody in that room, or that building for that matter, that didn't know that.

Dylan then raised his gaze to meet Jane's. His smile had disappeared, but still he was pleased to see her fixated on him and him alone. He watched as she took a few steps before sitting down directly across from him. He watched as her mind was spinning, tormenting her. She tried her best to appear focused on the task at hand, but Dylan could see behind the scenes. Detective Rizzoli was coming unglued, such a shame to have to witness such a thing.

"Talk to me, McFadden." Rizzoli's voice was so low that even Frost jerked his head her way.

"Dylan, please. I do believe I've earned the right to be on a first name basis with you, Jane." Dylan than relaxed against the back of his chair waiting Jane's response.

"I really don' t care what you call me, just so long as you tell me what the hell is going on." Jane leaned back against her own chair, matching Dylan's posture.

"There was a child missing. I found her and brought her to the police station. That makes me a hero, right?" Dylan kept his eyes locked with Jane's as if challenging her.

"Or an accomplice." Dylan's smile once again faded at Jane's accusation.

"Now, now, Detective. Play nice or I won't tell you what you want to know." Dylan then let his eyes scan the room. "I think it's a bit too crowded in here. I prefer a more intimate setting. I could listen to you talk for hours, but these guys are a bit of mood killer."

Jane shook her head no but it was obvious to all present that she was considering Dylan's request. She looked at the captain and then to Korsak. "Fine, but Korsak stays." Jane knew how much Duncan McFadden controlled Korsak's emotions as well and she believed he would be the one to help her through her own.

"Alone, Detective. I want to be alone with you." Dylan watched as Jane stood her ground. "Well, then no deal."

Jane slowly got to her feet. She pushed her chair in under the table to signify the meeting would soon end. "Then no deal. We've got the girl, we really don't need you at all."

"Have it your way…Jane. My father is still out there, only know he's pissed." Dylan let out a low rumbling when he laughed. "He's very pissed."

Jane motioned for the other officers to leave, grabbing Korsak's arm as he passed her. She then looked back to Dylan. "Your father is coming for me, I get that. He knows it won't be as easy as it was to grab those other women and children. If he's pissed, he's bound to make mistakes. I'll take my chances."

Dylan stared Jane down as the room cleared out. Korsak took a seat next to Jane when she returned to the chair she had just vacated. He crossed his arms over his chest allowing his anger to show through his expression.

"What is it you want, McFadden?" Korsak was tired of this back and forth and he was going to do his best to move it along.

Dylan stared at the older detective for a long few moments. Jane was quiet, actually wondering what Dylan would say. "Detective Rizzoli."

Korsak slammed his hands down on the table in frustration causing Jane to jump noticeably. Dylan noticed and all three of them knew the momentum was back on Dylan's side.

"My father is getting to you, isn't he? He has threatened you for so long now and it's taking it's toll." Dylan paused to allow Jane an opportunity to reply, but then continued when she didn't. "You've got nerves of glass right now, Detective. I can help you relax."

Jane kept her eyes down, her hands in her lap. The last thing she needed for Dylan to see was the way they ached, even itched as those very nerves he spoke of were very much an issue. Finally she looked up at the younger McFadden. He had the same eyes as his father, from what she remembered. She remembered everything about Duncan McFadden.

Jane was suddenly agitated and her impatience was apparent. "You didn't come in here with that child for a reward or any recognition. What is it you want, Dylan?" Jane was careful not to sound too vulnerable, but Dylan held the cards right now and they all knew it.

"Am I under arrest? I haven't committed a crime. My court date for assaulting an officer isn't for another six weeks." Dylan shook his head. "It was unfortunate that I injured that pretty face of yours Jane, but arresting me was really unnecessary, don't you think?"

"No, you're not under arrest. You're actually free to go, but that's not why you came here to begin with." Jane was tired. Very tired and Korsak could see she was almost willing to agree to anything just to find McFadden and finish this. "What do you want?" Jane's voice was harder, sharper.

"I want to see your scar. I want to see what my father is capable of. I was so young when he branded all those woman back then, but now I am old enough to appreciate who he is. Who I am?" Once again Dylan relaxed against the back of the chair.

Jane looked at Korsak, mostly to keep from making eye contact with Dylan. She took a deep breath before addressing Dylan once again. "Seeing what your father tried to do to me will not help me find him. It will not help me stop him. It will not help you deal with the fact you were fathered by a monster."

"So, no deal?" Dylan flashed his smile once again and Jane could feel her stomach turn.

"No, no deal." Jane stood then and walked away from the two men. "I'm done here. You're free to go, we have no further use for you."

Korsak watched Dylan carefully as his eyes followed Jane as she left the room. "She can be pretty hard headed, huh?" Dylan now turned his attention to Korsak.

Korsak only shook his head at the arrogance of Duncan McFadden's son. It didn't come as a surprise, given the confidence his father killed with.

"You really should get her to humor me." Dylan yawned as if he were bored with the whole thing now as well. "My father is going to get to her. He will rape her, he will finish his mark, and then he will kill her. I know it, you know it, and whether she'll admit it or not, she knows it."

"It's not going to happen. You're free to go now." Korsak got to his feet.

"Listen here, pops." Dylan insisted on pissing Korsak off. "She's number ten, that's been the plan all along." Dylan waited realizing he had hooked the detective.

"That little girl…she's not marked. That means he still has one more victim before Jane. It really would be in Jane's best interest to work with me. I can help. I will help her catch my father. I know that's all she thinks about these days. I can help her."

Korsak stared at the younger McFadden with hard eyes that were meant to intimidate. "She's not going to show you her scar. That's sick junior."

"I know. I just wanted to see if I could affect her." Dylan laughed. "It seems I did."

Korsak was quick, quicker than Dylan figured he would be as he grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him to a standing position from is chair. "We're done with the games. Done."

"I will take her to my father. You can come too, pops." Dylan swallowed against Korsak's hold just before flashing that arrogant grin once more. "Not until she allows me to touch her. That's not asking too much, is it? One way or the other she will be touched. It can hurt terribly or she'll love it."

Korsak unlocked Dylan's cuffs only to relock them tighter, pinching the skin of his wrists. He waited until Dylan finished cursing him. "Dylan McFadden, you're under arrest for threatening a police officer."

"That's weak, pops and you know it." Dylan remained arrogant and that was what was now driving Korsak.

"Maybe, but it'll keep you busy for a little while." Korsak opened the door and handed McFadden off to a uniformed officer with directions to have him booked. He then looked around for Jane, nervous when he didn't immediately see her.

Jane paced just outside the precinct. The cold morning air felt good against the sweat that had been forming on her face while she talked with Dylan. She replayed his request in her head, despite the fact that it caused her to feel sick.

"I'm okay, just need to blow off a little steam." Jane knew Maura was there. The wind and the activity of an early Michigan morning hid her arrival, but Jane just knew when she was near.

Maura's response was none at all which Jane was relieved for. She glanced at her friend, thankful she was near her where she could be certain she was safe, but also frustrated that she brought her to where McFadden was. Did the risk outweigh the gain? She decided they did, but for her own selfish reasons, she wanted Maura with her. Maura watched as Jane worked to exhaust the unexpected energy that Dylan brought with him. She was so thin naturally, but this case was taking it's toll on her weight.

Finally Jane had had enough and made her way to face her friend. "He wants to see my scar. He's as sick as his father."

"Maybe, but he did find the girl and returned her safely." Maura dodged the sharp look that followed her comments.

"Or he's the one that had her all along. He won't give me anything unless I give and I won't do it Maura." Jane felt the need to explain although Maura never asked for the reasons why Jane did or didn't do anything.

"Jane, she's not marked. He found her in time." Maura's voice was tentative as she feared adding any more stress to the weak, weary detective.

Jane dropped her head, thankful for small miracles. The wind was now not refreshing, it was biting as she rubbed her hands together. "That means he will still go after his ninth victim before he tries for me."

"Will he, Jane? His plan seems to have been interrupted." Maura watched as Jane heard every word she said.

"Yeah, he will. It's important to him to stay on task, despite any interruption." Jane turned to head into the building.

"Where are you going?" Maura hurried to catch up to Jane.

"I've got to crack Dylan. He's not lying, Maura. He can help me." Jane wondered just how much she'd have to give to Duncan McFadden's son in exchange for his help. She stopped off at the woman's restroom and let her stomach wreck havoc on the rest of her body. She felt her legs give out as she finished heaving into the toilet.

"Just give me a minute, please." Jane's voice begged.

"Sure, Jane, but you can't go on like this. You are killing yourself." Maura ran some paper towels under cold water before approaching Jane who had since lied down flat on her back on the cool bathroom floor.

"Do no leave my sight, okay Maura? It's important." Jane tried to make her voice sound authoritative. Maura didn't have the heart to tell her how scared she sounded and how weak she looked.

Dylan McFadden was right. Duncan McFadden was pissed. He couldn't blame his son, he knew he had an agenda of his own. He couldn't believe how easy this was going to be. He really thought she would have more security than this. She had cops surround her when she came here to sleep, but when she was gone, so was her protection. Duncan watched as the maid slid her card into the lock and opened the door. So easy.

He wiped his tools with the sheet from Jane's bed. He always cleaned his tools carefully so that they were ready when he needed them. He smiled to himself as she stared at the woman who now occupied the bed Jane had been in just a few hours ago. She bled down onto the sheets, that was a shame. He laughed thinking they will probably charge the cost of the bed linen to the room. He doubted Jane would have to pay…for that anyway.

Duncan scanned the room for any personal items of Jane's. It was obvious Jane hadn't spent much time here since arriving. She'd be back though, eventually. And she'd find his ninth victim, and she'll be angry. He loved it when she was angry. Turned him on that much more.


	14. Chapter 14

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 14

I don't own R and I.

Maura sat quietly next to Jane as she spoke with Christy Marks' mother. Maura knew Jane was doing her best to get permission to speak with Christy alone, convinced she would open up more without her mother hovering. Jane was patient, obviously understanding how mother didn't want to let daughter out of her sight.

Jane was running on fumes at this point and Maura noticed she made sure to keep something in her hands at all times. Maura watched carefully, more interested in Jane's actions and movements than what she was actually saying to the young girl. The mother refused to leave the room and Maura had moved her position to the other side of the room with her. It was important for Christy to concentrate on Jane as much as possible and maybe she could if her mother wasn't so close.

It was a quick conversation as Christy described her abduction, her abductor and where she was held. She wasn't harmed, just scared but the man was nice to her. Maura couldn't help but smile as Jane smiled at Christy as they talked. Jane really was good with children. Jane continued to grip the rolled stack of papers that served no purpose other than to keep her hands busy. Nervous energy.

Once Christy and her mother had left the station, Jane made her way into the briefing room. She slowly walked along the wall where the pictures of the eight victims were on display with their names written underneath. Maura wanted to speak to Jane but was afraid of interrupting her thoughts. Korsak made his way into the room as well and motioned for Maura.

"She wants to have another go at McFadden's son; you don't want to be in here for this." Korsak guided Maura out and into another room.

"Vince, can't you do something? Get some of these other officers involved? I don't know how she's still standing." Maura did her best not to sound too panicked, but she could tell Jane was about physically done.

"I would give anything to send you two home, but McFadden will not stop until he gets her. We know this, she knows this." Korsack watched as Maura's slight nod showed that she knew this as well. "You, however, are going home."

"No, Jane specifically wanted me to stay with her. You cannot do this to her now." Maura now didn't try to hide the panic in her voice.

"Maura," Korsack took her arms in his hands gently, "It is not safe. Jane can't be concerned for your safety as well as her own."

"She needs me, Vince. She needs to know I'm alright, she needs to know she's alright. She will worry more if you send me home to Boston." Maura looked up as Dylan McFadden was led in handcuffs into the room she just left.

"She's not getting a say in this. It's from higher up. You will be escorted and have around the clock protection until this is over and McFadden is in custody or better yet…dead." Korsak nodded to the two FBI agents that were assigned to Dr. Maura Isles until the completion of this case.

Maura turned back to face Korsak with tears in her eyes. "Don't I get to say goodbye?"

Korsak only shook his head as Maura was led out of the station. He knew how close Maura and Jane had gotten. He knew how Jane depended on and drew strength from Maura. He also knew that Jane would neglect her own health and safety to make sure Maura wasn't harmed. She was in enough danger as it was, worrying about Maura would only make it that much tougher on Jane.

Korsak headed into the room to find Jane surrounded by Frost, and a few other agents. Dylan was seated across from her once again the silence was deafening. Korsak stood behind Dylan as if daring him to move.

Jane stood then and walked to the wall with the pictures of McFadden's latest victims. She inserted Christy Marks' photo into the number nine slot, despite believing she was not a number at all. Jane turned to face Dylan, taking in his eyes as he scanned the photos. She watched carefully as he took his time with each photo. "Why are you showing these to me?"

"You said you wanted to help. So help." Jane's tone was very short and her impatience evident in her voice.

"What is it exactly you need me to do?" Dylan focus had shifted to watching Jane as she continued to move along the wall.

"I want to know where your father is. It is as simple as that. I don't want to play games. I'm not going to make deals. I want to know, and I want to know now." Jane stopped pacing and moved closer to where Dylan was sitting.

"If you're not going to make me a deal, then what's in it for me?" Dylan stared into Jane's eyes.

"I'm preparing to arrest you for the abduction of Christy Marks. Given your connection to Duncan McFadden, no jury will go easy with that charge despite the fact you returned her safely." Jane sat down on the table in front of Dylan causing him to back away a little so that he could see her face. "I suggest you work with me and tell me where your father is."

Dylan dropped his gaze to Jane's body where his eyes fell onto her side where her gun hung on her hip. Jane sat still despite the nausea that was forming being so close to McFadden's son. "Are you left-handed, Detective?"

Jane glanced up at Korsak quickly before returning her gaze to Dylan. "Yes."

Dylan glanced down at his hands that were secured in front of him. "My father is left-handed, so was my brother. My father was closer to my brother, said it had to do with the way their brains were wired."

"Dylan, tell me about his first victim." Jane kept her voice low, trying to capitalize on Dylan's state of mind.

"Even after my brother died, he still didn't care about me. I was always trying to prove to him that I was just as good and just as smart as my brother." Dylan looked at Jane for a long few seconds before turning to the wall again.

"Talk to me Dylan. What did he make you do to prove to him." Jane lowered herself down into a chair so that she was eye level with Dylan.

Dylan stared into Jane's eyes. "He had a plan before he escaped from prison. He always has a plan." Jane nodded encouraging Dylan to continue. "I had to get you involved, his plan is centered around you."

Jane took a few seconds to look around at everybody in the room before turning her attention back to Dylan. Her voice was a bit louder, more forceful as her patience was depleted. "Tell me about his first victim."

"I killed her per my father's orders. I killed her, claimed her and marked her. Beth Crenshaw. Didn't know her, but he told me where to find her, and how to do her." Dylan moved his eyes from the picture back to Jane. "I'm not like him at all. I didn't like it. I didn't want to hurt her."

Jane looked at Korsak as she stood and backed away from Dylan. The name of the first victim was never released, but Dylan knew it. Korsak pickup up on the same detail as Jane went back to the wall.

"But you did. You killed her and you marked her…junior." Jane looked again at the first victim's photo.

Dylan was suddenly grinning at Jane with the arrogant smile that he knew got to her. "My initials are D.M.; yours are J.R."

Jane fought the anger, the frustration, the fatigue, the nausea to make her way back towards Dylan. She remembered Maura's guess about the first victim being marked by a right-hander. Maura hardly ever guessed at anything, and she was fairly certain she didn't guess this time either.

"Tell me about the little girl you brought to me." Jane once again resumed her position on the table in front of Dylan. The close proximity seemed to affect Dylan in a way that seemed to favor her efforts.

"I got to her first. I didn't abduct her, Detective. I saved her." Dylan once again let his eyes run down Jane's body. "I didn't hurt her, didn't plan to at all."

"You will go down for the murder of Beth Crenshaw. You know that. Your father used you and has no intention of helping you now. You know that, don't you Dylan?" Jane had returned to her comforting voice as she watched Dylan struggle with his emotions.

"Yeah, I know that. I pissed him off, you know. Messed up his plan." Dylan grinned again, but Jane knew it was not directed at her. "He's pissed now. I pissed him off."

"You want to make this right somehow, don't you Dylan?" Jane continued to stroke Dylan in hopes of getting the information she needed. "Tell me where he is."

"I don't know where he is, I really don't." Dylan looked Jane directly in the eyes. "I do know he's pissed. I do know that he wants you and I do know that he will get you."

"You know more than you're saying." Jane taunted hoping she was right.

"I know Christy Marks is not number nine. I do know that much, but then so do you." Dylan directed his gaze back to the wall and at the photo in space number nine.

Jane hung her head before standing up to leave. Dylan wouldn't give her anything and she was done trying with him.

"Detective Rizzoli, get some sleep. You looked whipped." Dylan's voice demanded her to turn and look at him. "I do know that my father views you as his only challenge. He's determined, you know, and you don't stand a chance right now."

Jane made her way out of the room and into the squad room where the activity was constant and the noise numbing. Maybe she should get some rest. They would come get her when number nine was announced, she was sure of that. Jane looked around for Maura, immediately concerned when she wasn't close by. She approached Korsak as she exited the room leaving Dylan McFadden to be official charged and arrested for the murder of Beth Crenshaw. He would be taken back to Boston where he would be serve his time.

"Korsak, have you seen Maura?" Jane's voice was raw displaying her every emotion.

"Jane, she's on the way back to Boston." Korsak held his hand up stopping Jane's protest. "It's not safe for her to be here given the circumstances."

"It's not safe for her to be there, given the circumstances!" Jane was angry now and the whole squad room knew this. "I wanted her here for a reason. Dammitt!"

"Jane, she's safe. FBI agents are with her and will stay with her around the clock until McFadden is done." Korsak tried to calm Jane but knew any attempt would be useless.

"Rizzoli!" Captain Crane was fast approaching and Jane immediately looked for the closest chair. "Number nine is up."

Jane rubbed her face with her hands as he handed Korsak the address. Dylan did nothing to disrupt his father's plan it seemed. "Where to?"

Korsak's face was red with anger as he headed out of the precinct knowing Jane would follow. He motioned for Frost as FBI and local detectives all prepared to head out. Korsak said nothing and Jane didn't ask again. They drove through the Michigan streets until Korsak pulled up in front of the familiar hotel. The lights from the police cruisers reflected off Jane's face as she didn't need to ask where the victim was. She immediately boarded the elevator with several members of her team. She knew she would not be alone at all from this point on and she was actually somewhat comforted by that.

Jane showed her credentials to the officers at the door and stepped cautiously into the room, her room where she had been staying. She had tried to prepare herself for the discovery of the ninth victim, but she wasn't even close. The anger, frustration, and fear that filled her body at the sight of McFadden's last victim before her was enough to make her loose her balance. She dropped down onto the bed that had been Maura's, refusing to look at the woman that now occupied hers.

It took a few minutes for Jane to get her bearings. She looked around the room, knowing McFadden wouldn't leave anything he didn't want found. She knew she would need to make her way over to the victim, but just needed something to ground her. Maura's personal items were still in the room where she had left them and Jane made a mental note to gather them before clearing out of the hotel. She suddenly felt relieved that Maura had been sent home. Her body jumped wondering if maybe she was McFadden's target after all and that he settled for claiming a member of the hotel staff. No, McFadden was smarter than that. He would know that Jane wouldn't have left Maura out of her sight.

Jane knelt down to the level of the victim. She removed the sheet that covered her, immediately looking for the marking that was ever present. Sure enough, an innocent woman that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jane pulled the gloves from her hands, letting them drop to the ground. She made her way into the bathroom where she proceeded to splash cold water onto her face.

The cold water kept Jane breathing, functioning. It also helped hide the tears that flowed without her permission. Dylan was right, she was no match for Duncan McFadden. It was all she could do to hold up her own weight right now. Her body shook against her will and her mind flashed images of every victim up to and including the hotel maid that was still lying dead in her bed. She pulled out her phone and dialed Maura's number. She listened to the sound of her voice as her call went directly to voicemail. Maybe she was on the plane. Hopefully she was on the plane.


	15. Chapter 15

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 15

I don't own R and I.

Jane leaned up against the door jam leading from the bathroom. She didn't much trust her legs to hold her, but found it difficult to proceed back into the room where the action was taking place. Jane shook off Korsak's worried look, urging him to continue with his investigation. She barely registered the activity as the crime scene was processed, focusing instead on managing her nausea. She heard everyone, she heard no one. She felt everything, she felt nothing. Her body was shutting down on her and her legs buckled before her mind could process what was happening.

Jane's hands hit the floor, keeping her face from doing the same before she was quickly up to her knees. She instinctively reached for her gun, spinning around behind her with the intent to fire if necessary. It was when her eyes focused in on the empty bathroom that she realized she had nearly passed out. Korsak and Frost approached immediately, guns drawn on Jane's cue. Frost cleared the bathroom before returning his gun to his side. His questioning look caused Jane to finally do the same with her own gun.

"I thought…I…I'm just paranoid, I think." Jane refused Korsak's help in getting to her feet.

"That's it! Enough Jane. You're done." Korsak guided Jane over to the empty bed, nearly forcing her to sit.

Jane glared at Korsak before looking around him to take in the medical examiner working on their latest victim. She briefly wondered where he was brought in from. It was when she attempted to stand that she realized her body truly was working against her. Korsak reached out his hand to prevent Jane from standing as he finished his phone call.

"We both know I'm not done, I can't be." Jane pushed Korsak's hand away as she insisted on standing and standing tall. She had come too far for McFadden to win in this way.

Korsak knew Jane was determined, but there was only so much a person could take. "We're heading back to Boston. There's no reason to be here any longer."

"McFadden is here, why would we leave?" Jane realized Korsak's take charge attitude had a lot to do with her physical condition.

"Jane, we both know what his next move is. You go to Boston, so will he." Korsak had lowered his voice so that he was talking to Jane only. "We need the home field advantage."

"I'm going to get him, Korsak. He will not beat me." Jane stared deep into the older man's eyes where she was sure she saw his doubt. Her insides trembled knowing she doubted her own words just as sure as she had said them. Jane set about collecting the few personal items she had in the room as well as what Maura had left. She was anxious to get out of Hell and to get back home. She was anxious to see that Maura had returned safely herself .

With Frost by her side and Korsak close behind, Jane headed out of the hotel room. She knew she would need to tie a up a few things back at the precinct with Captain Crane before heading home. Her mood fluctuated between defeated and determined as she continued to ignore her body's warning signals. She would rest soon; this would be over soon enough. One way or the other.

"Rizzoli." Jane answered her phone without looking, irritated at the interruption of her thoughts. She was just about to hit the elevator button when her movements stopped altogether. She could hear music in the background, but not much else.

"Hello, my love." Duncan's voice was smooth and intentionally deliberate.

"McFadden." Jane announced she was aware of who her caller was more for Korsak and Frost's benefit.

"Won't be long now. You have no idea how long I've waited for you."

Jane listened past his threat, concentrating instead on what she could hear in the background. "Then let's do this. Tell me where to meet you." Jane watched as Korsak shook his head at Jane's words.

"You'll know soon enough. You must learn patience, Detective. Twelve long years have taught me to be patient." Duncan whistled along with the music for a few seconds, intentionally causing Jane to listen. He knew she would be trying to place him. "Leaving so soon, Jane?"

Jane looked around despite doubting McFadden was anywhere close by. She switched to speaker wondering why she hadn't done that right away. She watched Korsak work to contain his anger as McFadden continued to whistle.

"No need to stay. I found number nine, that's what you wanted." Jane all but hissed into the phone. She noticed McFadden stopped whistling when she spoke. What she had to say was of interest to him. "What do you want now?"

"You know exactly what I want. In fact you know that I will get what I want." Duncan began to whistle again, only to stop suddenly. "Damn, this place is filthy. Health code violations galore."

Jane was beyond irritated, but didn't dare hang up. "I'm done with the games, Duncan. So are you. Tell me where to come and I will be there."

Duncan McFadden was silent while Jane spoke only to break into a fit of laughter when she finished. Jane refused to admit the chilling sensation that she felt rake down her back at his sound. "Jane, you're usually much more thorough when you investigate a crime scene. I am very disappointed in you to say the least."

Jane let Korsak hold the phone while she rubbed her temples with both hands. She listened to McFadden whistle along to the music she could hear in the background. "McFadden!"

"Okay, Rizzoli. I'll grade on a curve this time only. You're a bit spent, I'm sure." McFadden waited knowing he was irritating Jane with his dramatics. "You left the bitch in the bed."

The music died, the whistling stopped, the line went dead. Jane looked up at Korsak and then to Frost who was already heading back into Jane's hotel room. The body of the innocent hotel maid had yet to be removed from the bed she had been killed in. Jane approached slowly knowing this was just another part of McFadden's twisted game. She stared at the covered form intently as if searching her mind for the answer. She glanced up at the medical examiner briefly before pulling back the sheet. She immediately let her eyes fall on the signature that was so perfectly placed just above the woman's right hipbone. Jane motioned for gloves, quickly sliding them on before touching the body. She carefully turned the woman just enough to locate the small business card that came into view instantly.

Jane could feel her stomach begin to turn and her breathing grow heavy causing her chest to burn. She was once again in her own hell as she heard no one or nothing but her own breathing. Jane used her gloved finger to wipe the blood from the lettering on the card. It was from the hotel they were at. Jane turned the card to reveal the written address. She immediately turned to Korsak, shoving the card at him.

"I told you I needed her here! Son of a bitch!" Jane began her violent pacing that was meant to calm, but was doing anything but. "Frost, find her!"

"Jane, she's on a plane with FBI agents. McFadden will not get to her." Korsak tried to talk calmly hoping Jane would calm herself at his tone. Jane watched as Frost hurried out of the room to check on Maura's status and to warn the agents of the threat they were already operating under.

"Jane, it's just a game to him. He's just trying to keep you rattled." Korsak grabbed Jane to slow her down.

"Well, he's damn good. He knows she's not with me. He knew I hadn't left here when he called. He knows everything." Jane paused to catch her breath. "He knows where she lives."

"Nothing will happen to Dr. Isles. She's got more protection than you do right now and we're certain you're the intended." Korsak had finally managed to stop Jane completely. She let herself fall down onto the bed Maura had used just a few hours earlier to try to regroup. The body was finally removed from the bed she had just used hours earlier and Jane couldn't help but stare at the blood stained linen.

Korsak took a seat next to Jane letting his hand fall onto her knee. "I know you're tired Jane, we all are. Let's get home and make him come to you. Make him play by our rules."

Jane placed her own hand over that of her friend and former partner. She stared down at her hand noticing how it shook slightly. "He's already there."

Korsak looked up to face Jane. "He knows you haven't left here. He's good Jane, but even he can't be in two places at once."

"No, listen to me." Jane pushed to her feet, adjusting her gun out of habit. "The music. His comment about the place being filthy." Jane grew frustrated when Korsak failed to catch on to her train of thought.

"Korsak, he's already in Boston. He's at the Dirty Robber!" Jane was pushing her way out of the hotel room and at the elevator before Korsak could catch up. "The minute that plane lands, I want Maura on the phone. I have to talk to her."

"He could be at any bar. Any dirty bar here in Michigan." Korsak tried but knew Jane was right.

"But he's not. He's in Boston. Always one step ahead of me. Fuck!"

"Jane, calm down. This is what he wants…you…out of control."

"Well, he's going to get me out of control." Jane was angry at the way McFadden laughed in her face once again. "I have to talk to Maura. I have to know she's okay." Jane didn't wait for a response as she boarded the elevator. She pushed the down button with her whole fist with a considerable amount of unnecessary force. The pain that followed only served to prove to her she was ready. She would finish this now.

Duncan McFadden left a generous tip as he polished off his drink. He was careful not to consume too much for he knew he couldn't afford any mistakes. He had weakened his opponent considerably but nonetheless he had to be on his game. He had toasted himself and his accomplishments knowing he would soon be rewarded in a way he could only dream about. So this is where she would come to relax and unwind after a particular tough day at work. Seemed only fitting he would spend time here as he prepared for her.

The whistling continued as he walked the short distance to her home. The air was cold and chilling but did nothing to extinguish the fire that smoldered within him. McFadden walked with a deliberate pace, too slow to be in a hurry, too fast to be a casual stroll. He loved this city. He wished he could say he loved her; in fact, he believed he truly hated her. That hatred for her and what she stood for kept him warm as he smiled at the looks he received by passing pedestrians. He didn't need a coat. Didn't even bother with a jacket. He was proud of the way he could control what he felt. He hated Jane Rizzoli, but soon, he would love her.

He knew Jane would realize he was here in Boston eventually. He knew he would only have a short amount of time before her place would be as protected as she was. He shook his head at how easy it was to enter her apartment with very little effort. She probably counted on her gun instead of investing in a security system. He understood, a detective's salary didn't usually afford certain luxuries. The apartment was quiet and he took his time to take in the scent of the woman that lived here. His eyes took in her belongings as they were purposely placed throughout the living area. His legs carried him directly into her bedroom where he found he could hardly contain himself. He made her bed perfectly, making sure there was not one wrinkle in the sheets or blankets. He stared at the bed knowing he would finish her there. He couldn't take a chance of misplaced bedding interfering in his game plan.

His attention was drawn to her closet where he let his fingers touch every item of clothing she owned. He wore the same thing every day for twelve years and yet Detective Rizzoli had a choice. She had a choice everyday of what she would wear and what she wouldn't. He smiled as he made his way to the kitchen where he helped himself to a beer. Always beer in a cop's fridge.

"Talk to me Maura." Jane couldn't control her emotions when her phone showed Maura's name on the screen.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I wanted to talk to you, but they thought it was best I leave when I did." Maura hated the way Jane was coming unglued.

"I know. You can't go to your place. Not right now, okay?" Jane hated that Maura was in danger, but hated it even more that she had to trust somebody else to protect her.

"I understand. Jane, what can I do? Tell me what you need."

"Just talk to me. Okay, just like normal. You can even use those big words that irritate me. I just want to hear you talk to me." Jane hated that her voice cracked slightly knowing that Maura would pick up on it immediately.

Jane concentrated on the sound of Maura's voice as she described her plain ride with the agents and how she got them to come out of FBI mode and relax. She could hear Maura smile as she talked about how she knew she irritated them, but how it was fun for her. She could feel the calm that began to work it's way through her body as Maura continued to talk, only stopping briefly to make sure Jane was still there. Jane closed her eyes when Maura laughed, finding it impossible not to laugh herself.

"You'll be okay, Jane. I have faith in you." Maura's final words rang in Jane's head as she boarded the plane for home.


	16. Chapter 16

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 16

I don't own R and I.

It was cold, so cold, and she was powerless to fight against it. Powerless to defend herself and it was only a matter of seconds that she found herself wondering if she were powerless to survive it. Jane scanned the room, seeing the very same thing in every direction. An angry darkness surrounded her and she wondered if she was seeing the result of all she had worked for, all she had lived for. Jane could feel her chest deflate as she expelled the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding in for fear of alerting anyone or anything to her immediate hell. The pain that made it's way through her entire body told her maybe she could survive, if she were strong enough, brave enough, tough enough. The darkness told her she didn't stand a chance, the constant pain told her she did.

Jane saw herself moving in her mind, yet her body remained motionless. She sensed McFadden, maybe even smelled him despite having no clue what particular scent would belong to him. Based on the way he talked to her, Jane figured nothing but the best. Surely he would spend the necessary amount for the necessary luxury of smelling appealing. His close proximity pierced her senses as the restraints she was now beginning to feel bit at her skin. She tried to breathe through the pain, truly wondering if her efforts were proving futile. She could hear him, he sounded so far away, yet he felt so close. Too close.

Not like this, Jane thought as she willed her body to continue struggling against what was at the moment unknown. A thousand ways to die, but not like this, not at his hand. She forced herself not to wonder, not to visualize how she would die. It just wasn't natural or healthy despite the dangerous nature of her chosen profession. It seemed only fitting that she defied death many times throughout the course of her career only to have her life come full circle. She had made a name for herself by shutting Duncan McFadden down, now it was that very name that would do the same to her. It seemed to complete the picture. It seemed she was the final piece of his puzzle and he in return ending a career he had helped her start.

Jane tried to feel the restraints, moving her hands just enough so that she could. If she were experiencing pain, then chances were good she wasn't dead. He was there, close to her and the knowing carved a bleeding gash of fear that seemed to travel the length of her entire body. He filled her with fear despite her inability to express it. He showed her who was indeed the master despite her inability to see. He took her to school and was amazed at just how challenging a student she proved to be. He won and it seemed as though he were waiting for her to acknowledge defeat.

"Officer needs assistance." Jane could barely hear her own voice and what she heard sounded foreign. She could feel her heart pick up its pace as she listened to the movement around her. "Officer down."

Finally some help. Jane willed her body to stop shaking at the light touch on her arms. The immediate calm alerted her to Maura's presence as she forced her eyes open. Thank God. It was Maura and the look in her eyes told Jane that surely she had made it. She had managed to survive Duncan McFadden and that this whole ordeal was finally over. Jane looked beyond Maura into the darkness; no, things were not alright. They were not over. She was still in danger; Maura was still in danger. "Maura, get out of here!"

Jane watched as confusion filled Maura's features. Jane reached for her, but her hands were unavailable. The sharp, slicing pain reminded her that not only was this case not closed, it wasn't over. Duncan McFadden wasn't done terrorizing her and she struggled despite the pain to make Maura understand how dangerous it was for her to be there. Maura stood, her expression quickly changing to alarm. Jane felt an odd sense of relief that Maura was able to read the urgent warning that Jane so desperately relayed through her eyes alone. Then the panic set in. Maura was safe as she was once again alone. Left alone to take on Duncan McFadden; to take him down once again. She could only wonder how when she felt paralyzed against his plan.

It didn't take long before she felt him approach. Still she could not see him, but she heard him and his voice sent a nauseating wave through her body instantly. She pulled against the restraints, ignoring the blood as it ran down her forearms; a direct result of her futile efforts to fight. She was so exhausted, so spent, so defeated. Yet still she struggled. Still she tried. Still she failed. Her destiny was more than clear when she felt his cold hands against her skin, the contact burning immediately. His hands on her abdomen sent electric shocks through her body that she had no choice but to endure.

Jane wanted to scream, but even in her incapacitated state, she knew it would be a wasted effort. She had known McFadden's plan from the beginning and yet still she failed to stop him, failed to beat him. She truly was no match for him and he had managed to prove his superior nature with what seemed little effort. She knew his goal was to claim her and kill her. She was the one that got away. The one that had stopped him. Now she was his conquest.

Jane had no choice but to pray it would be quick. To pray that Frost and Korsak were close enough that they would be able to get him, maybe even kill him. She prayed out loud that Maura had gotten away in time, she forced the possibility that she hadn't from her mind just as the scalpel made contact with her skin. Jane found herself wondering if McFadden would finish his original signature or brand her with her own initials. Nothing like pouring salt in the wound. McFadden had been doing that since victim number one; adding a little more with each woman, each child. And now he was quite content making Jane scream. Only she wouldn't. She would not give him that last bit of satisfaction. He won, that much was obvious, but she refused to accept he beat her.

The blood was unrealistically cool as it soaked the surrounding skin. Jane concentrated on slowing her breathing down, slowing her heart rate, slowing how much blood was pumped into the area affected by Duncan McFadden. It was a last ditch effort to survive, a futile attempt to control the game she undoubtedly had lost. Jane realized McFadden's full weight on her legs as his instrument cut into her skin with careful precision. She was powerless to fight, to try, to survive. Her prayer for it to be quick went unanswered as she felt every cut, slice and turn of the scalpel as it carefully carved her initials into her skin just above her left hip. Leave if to McFadden to break pattern on the last victim.

It wasn't until Jane felt Duncan McFadden's breath on her face that she found her voice. With an almost animalistic howl, she forced her head up off the ground. The resulting collision with McFadden's head caused her body to jump and jerk with adrenalin that had been until then nonexistent. Strong hands tightened around her arms as she heard Korsak screaming her name. He was closer than she had thought. He made it.

"Jane!" Jane squinted against the light that forced its way into her senses. She stared into Korsak's eyes ignoring the layer of perspiration that covered her face and arms. It was several agonizing moments before Jane realized how real her nightmare was. How she felt every move McFadden made, how she was powerless against him. The air was cool, almost cold against Jane's skin as she shifted her gaze to Frost who was kneeling down in front of her. The realization that she was only seconds away from losing it completely was enough to make Jane return her attention back to Korsak.

"Where's Maura?" Jane's voice was weak and vulnerable and she cringed at the sound of it.

"She's at the precinct, waiting for you." Korsak kept his voice low and even knowing Jane would match him. "We're almost ready to land."

Jane watched as Barry returned to his seat immediately to her left. He knew his partner was defeated mentally and worried now how they would put an end to McFadden's terror. "I'm exhausted Frost. That's it. Just tired."

"We've already arranged for a team to be with you and Maura around the clock until we find McFadden. As soon as we land, we'll get you settled in." Frost anticipated Jane's reaction and immediately looked to Korsak for backup.

"I am a fucking detective. Armed. I will not be babysat like a child, hidden like a scared victim. I will find him myself." Jane's stare was fierce and intense as both Korsak and Frost opted to leave her statement be what it was.

"What about Maura?" Korsak tried a different angle.

"Twenty-four seven, yes." Jane allowed herself to lean back against her seat as the directions were announced to refasten seatbelts. "No chances."

Frost eyed Korsak wondering how to get through to Jane. They both agreed her head was no longer in the game, therefore risking her own safety as well as others. There was no question about how Jane expected Maura to be protected, guarded at all costs. It was unspoken between the two men that it would have to be Maura to get through to Jane. She had a way of getting in when Jane would shut everybody else out.

Jane was flanked by Korsak, Frost and a number of FBI agents as they all entered the airport. Jane's eyes scanned everywhere they could see as they made their way through the crowd. So many people, none of whom seemed threatening. They all earned at least a passing glance as Jane believed McFadden was of course one step ahead of her. It wasn't until she sat in the back of the unmarked cruiser that she allowed a deep breath to fill her lungs. She hadn't breathed deeply since before unintentionally falling asleep on the plane and her lungs were screaming at her now for it.

Jane knew better than to indulge in the familiar sense of security her precinct offered. She nonetheless was more than relieved when she entered her squad room, allowing the routine hum of telephones and hushed voices welcome her home. The search was still in full force for Duncan McFadden and if the crowded squad room didn't indicate the urgency to catch him the full wall in the interrogation room did.

The room was empty of officers and agents, but full of pictures. Pictures of every victim from McFadden's first wave and every victim from his spree now. Jane's eyes were instantly drawn to the pictures of herself at the end of each row of victims. She reluctantly smiled at how young she looked twelve years ago only to have that smile fade as she took in her most recent file photo. This job, this career had certainly aged her over the twelve years since McFadden's arrest. She looked into the eyes that stared back at her and wondered at what point they stopped smiling when she did.

"It's got to be unnerving to see your own picture up with the known victims." Jane sensed Maura had entered the room, waiting until she spoke to turn to face her.

"Almost like my pre-determined destiny." Jane tried to smile, wondering if her eyes could hide the fear she had felt for Maura in her nightmare on the plane.

"It is if Duncan McFadden manages to complete his agenda." Maura took a step towards Jane as she took in her defeated posture.

"I don't intend to let that happen." Jane looked away then, returning her focus to the notes that had been added to each picture by the agents that continued the case here in Boston while they were in Michigan.

"Jane, the last victim…back at the hotel?" Maura had been informed of the ninth murder and the details that surrounded it.

"Collateral. Just like Agent Brady." Jane spoke without emotion and then slowly proceeded to remove her recent picture from the victim board. She reached for the older one from twelve years ago, but dropped her arm to her side before removing it. "You wouldn't be collateral damage, Maura. If he got to you it would definitely be intentional; planned on his part."

"I really don't see how he possibly could. I barely am left alone to use the restroom." Maura shifted uncomfortably when Jane snapped her head up, locking her eyes with her own.

"If that's his plan he will, Maura. It's as simple as that." Jane barely moved but her voice changed several octaves with one sentence. "Let these agents do their job and protect you. No chances."

"Why don't you do the same. We know what his intention is with you." Maura took the step forward it took to crowd Jane. Jane watched as her hands reached out, grabbing Maura by her forearms. She took a deep breath of relief as she recalled how she couldn't even do that much in her nightmare. She kept her eyes focused on Maura's for a long few seconds before releasing her and stepping back.

"I can take care of myself. I am trained to do just that." Jane was suddenly angry and although Maura knew her anger was displaced, she still felt the heat from Jane's tone.

"I am not trained and I would prefer if you came home with me tonight. I am tired Jane and I am worried and I really need to sleep. I would sleep better if I knew you were close by…you know, protecting me as well." Maura knew Jane wouldn't normally fall for such a line, but she too believed Jane had had enough and was mentally checking out.

Jane stared at Maura, trying to decipher exactly what she was asking. She wanted to stay and touch base with the investigation and how it was progressing, but the temptation of sleeping was too much for Jane's deprived mind and body. "Okay, whatever you need."

"I think we should head back to my place." Maura was quick as she watched Jane refocus on the victims' board. "More room for all my house guests.

"Yeah, that's fine." Jane's response was barely a mumble as stared at each of McFadden's victims.

Maura's house was searched thoroughly before she and Jane entered. It was warm and Jane found herself wondering when she last felt completely content, completely at ease. As Maura prepared for bed, Jane double and triple checked all the windows in her house. Finally with at least some sense of security, she made a call to one of the agents in the guest house. Once she was assured all was quiet, she allowed herself to relax on Maura's bed. She smiled to herself when she thought of Maura needing her to sleep. Jane knew Maura was prepared to say anything to get her to rest and it had worked. Jane's eyes refused to stay open as she listened to the water running in the bathroom. She was hearing completely, but her exhaustion was evident as she fought against complete unconsciousness.

"Aren't you going to change?" Maura's voice sounded as if she were in a tunnel to Jane as she worked to form the words she needed.

"Need to be ready…just in case."

"Well at least take your gun off." Maura worried Jane would roll over on it and shoot herself.

Jane's mind replied but she was unable to form the words. Exhaustion had finally claimed her completely, her last move was to place her left hand over the gun on her left hip. Even unconscious she was ready for Duncan McFadden.


	17. Chapter 17

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 17

I don't own R and I.

Maura awoke to the running water of her shower not at all surprised to see that it wasn't barely five in the morning. She lied still, taking the few minutes before Jane emerged to gather her thoughts. Maura knew Jane was on the edge; she knew she was running on empty. How long would Jane be able to function at any level, let alone at the high level needed to find and then apprehend Duncan McFadden. Maura had all the confidence in the world in Jane's skills, but it was her health that worried her now. Physically Jane was all but done, mentally just as exhausted. Maura worried how Jane would measure up if she indeed did have to physically handle McFadden. She was sure Korsak and Frost were way ahead of her, but she would touch base with them first thing this morning.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to wake you." Maura realized she never heard the water stop or Jane enter the room.

"It's okay. Were you able to sleep?" Maura watched as Jane's movements seemed slow, almost forced.

"Yeah, some." Jane stopped her movements altogether before turning to look at Maura who was still in the bed. She didn't want to leave. Maua was safe as long as she knew her to be; as long as she was in her sights. It was when Jane didn't say anything despite the obvious need to that Maura began to get up. "No, it's early yet. Go back to sleep."

"Where are you going, Jane? Has there been another victim?" Maura took a seat on the edge of the bed, not wanting to crowd Jane who had fallen deep in thought. She accepted Jane's subtle headshake to mean she had at least heard her.

Jane pulled her jacket on instantly covering her gun. "I think you should stay put today, you know, with the babysitters." Jane shot Maura a grin that was only intended to distract.

"Maybe you should as well. There are plenty of people looking for McFadden, Jane. You could use the rest and some down time." Maura stood and stepped in front of Jane causing the taller woman to stop moving.

"When I find McFadden, I will rest plenty." Jane refused to look anywhere but into Maura's eyes as she spoke. "We know he's coming for me. The only advantage we have is if I find him first."

Maura held Jane's gaze as she refused to look away, refused to accept Jane's explanation. She waned to reach out and grab Jane by the arms and shake her. Make her realize that she was not in any shape to go after McFadden. "What can I do, Jane?" Maura took a step back, allowing Jane to look away when she did.

"Stay alive." Jane shrugged before continuing. "If he can't find me, he will find you. He will then use you to get to me and I…"

"Tell me, Jane." Maura whispered knowing Jane was struggling emotionally as well as physically.

"I will not survive if he hurts you, or worse." Jane let her eyes slowly rise until they were once again locked with Maura's. "Stay here, stay protected. I will be back shortly."

Jane let her shoulders drop slightly as she watched Maura silently return to the bed, pulling the covers up around her tightly. Maura's reaction to her words confused her slightly, but she was grateful that there was no argument. Once Maura was still, the silence was nearly deafening. Jane wasn't sure if it were Maura's or her own breathing that began to echo in her head. It didn't really matter as long as they were both breathing. Jane reached for the handle to the door not realizing she had crossed the room already.

"Be careful." Maura's voice, although soft and caring, was paralyzing as it stopped Jane before she opened the door. Jane chose not to respond other than to shoot an understanding look back toward the bed.

Maura could hear the hushed tones that came from her living room. Jane was giving orders and she spoke with such authority that the tension in her voice invaded every room in the house. Maura couldn't make out what Jane was saying, but she knew that Jane believed everything she had just said to her. McFadden had a plan, an agenda, but there were no rules. He could break plan at anytime and Maura knew Jane completely believed what she had feared. Maura wondered if Jane even thought about how the people that loved her would be affected if McFadden succeeded. If Jane had any clue how impossible it would be for her to survive herself if something were to happen to Jane.

Jane's erratic breathing throughout the night suggested she was plagued by the stresses Duncan McFadden was responsible for. Several times, Maura had gently placed her hand on Jane's in an attempt to bring her out of whatever hell she had slipped into. Jane wouldn't acknowledge Maura's touch, but her breathing would even out and she would rest peacefully for a bit longer. The sound of Jane's car starting up in the cold morning air was enough to shake Maura from her thoughts. She never did mention where she was going and Maura knew that was intentional.

Dylan McFadden looked annoyed as he was led into the small room, his hands and feet both bound with shackles and chains. He was a murderer, but more importantly, he was a McFadden. His eyes immediately coming to life when he realized it was Detective Jane Rizzoli that had summoned him so early in the morning.

"I always thought if I saw you this early in the morning it would be because I had seen you, all of you, the whole night prior." Dylan flashed the arrogant grin that he knew would get to Jane. " What do you want, Detective."

Jane knew she would catch hell from Korsak and company about taking Dylan on alone, but her gut was screaming at her to try. She had to try one last time to get something, anything, out of McFadden's boy. "You know what I want. I want to know where your father is."

Dylan let his eyes take in all of the beautiful woman before him, letting out a low whistle before he spoke. "I know what you need. You may want to know my father's whereabouts, but it isn't him that you need."

The guard who refused to leave the room took a step back as Jane got to her feet and moved closer to Dylan. He then moved so that he was standing behind the prisoner, prepared to react should Dylan react to Jane. "It is him that I need. I need him stopped. Don't make this into something it's not."

Dylan narrowed his eyes and stared Jane down. It wasn't until she sat on the table, inches from him, that Dylan's expression changed. "I like games about as much as you do…Detective. What's in it for me?"

Jane rubbed her temples with both hands in an attempt to control the rage that was beginning to surface. "If I find your father, I will kill him. If he finds me first, he will kill me."

"So, why are you here then? You got it all figured out…go get him." Dylan's features were suddenly stone and Jane picked up on the change immediately.

"He's better than that. Better than me; smarter." Jane found it surprisingly easy to stare deep into Dylan's eyes. "I don't want to die, Dylan." Jane's words were whispered. It was the only way she was sure her voice wouldn't crack as she confessed her fear to McFadden's son.

Jane was counting on the fact that Dylan was nothing like his father. He was sick in his own right, but there had to be at least some compassion within him. "You won't find him, Detective. You're right, he's better than that." Dylan used his cuffed hands to gently nudge against Jane's legs. "He's been in your head a long time, hasn't he?"

Jane studied Dylan carefully before standing. She wouldn't have entertained the idea of showing Dylan how his father had branded her, but she was close to getting him to turn and she could feel it. Slowly she pulled her shirt out from the waistband of her pants. She had to strategically use her shirt to cover her lower abdomen as she pulled her pants just far enough to reveal the signature branding. Dylan didn't react initially, letting his eyes take in what his father had done to so many women. It was when he lifted his eyes to find Jane's that he showed any emotion at all.

"He doesn't just want to kill you. You do know that, right?"

"Dylan, why did you save the little girl? Why did you intentionally interrupt your fathers plan?" Jane quickly tucked her shirt in before returning to her chair across the table from Dylan.

"I'm not sure. Maybe I just wanted you to see me as someone other than a product of a monster."

"Why would it matter how I saw you at all?" Jane kept her voice at a low, comforting level hoping to gain Dylan's sympathy.

"What do you want from me?" Dylan's voice shook Jane as he quickly grew impatient.

"I want you to help me." Jane stood now as she spoke. "I know your father had you kill that woman, that's not who you are, Dylan. Help me find him. Make this right somehow."

"Undo these." Dylan demanded a trade for an answer. He slammed his hands onto the table in front of him.

"No." Jane was deliberate in her position. She refused to allow Dylan control.

"Will I ever be able to touch you, Detective Rizzoli?" Dylan had changed his demeanor once again and the frustration was beginning to build within Jane.

"You got your feel already." Jane motioned to her face where he had caused the fading bruises.

Dylan laughed out loud as if the memory of his first run in with Detective Rizzoli was truly hilarious. "Jane, Jane, Jane. Do you mind if I call you Jane?"

Jane's lack of an answer was answer enough as Dylan sat up straight in his chair as if he were preparing to deliver vital information. "You won't find him, but he will find you. Don't try so hard, let him come to you."

"I can't risk that?" Jane mumbled as she slowly stood, realizing her efforts to get something, anything out of Dylan had proven useless.

"You really don't have much of a choice." Dylan grinned at Jane as she made her way to the door. He waited until she were ready to leave before hollering her name. "Welcome to Hell, Jane. There's no place like home."

Jane was angry, humiliated and just downright defeated. It was a long shot talking to Dylan, but she had truly believed him to be different. Yes, he was now a murderer like his father, but still he was not the monster his daddy was. She felt the heat of Dylan's eyes on her scar and with it the pain of the attack. It was the pain that had brought her to, that had filled her with the fear to fight. Here that pain was surfacing again and she realized she was ready to fight. She would fight for her life if she had to and there was no doubt in her mind that she was going to have to.

Korsak and Frost were at their desk sipping on morning coffee when Jane made her way into the squad room. Korsak saw the look on Jane's face and knew immediately where she had been. She shook her head to answer the question he didn't have to ask. She sat down only to stand back up and head for the locker room. Her breathing was forced and her nerves shot.

Jane stared into her own eyes, using the mirror to see her own fear, her own failures. Duncan McFadden was intent on destroying her and she was powerless to stop him. She stared for a long time, hoping she would find some answers hidden within herself as to how to be right now. Her attention shifted to Maura's form as she came into Jane's view. Maura was always there when she needed someone to steady her; always.

"Why are you here? I thought we agreed it was best for you to stay at your house, protected." Jane spoke to Maura through the mirror, refusing to turn and look at her best friend.

"Surely I am protected here with all these officers with guns." Maura's response made Jane smile despite the fact there wasn't a damn thing funny.

"I went to see McFadden's son. I thought I could get him to help me." Jane's defeated tone told Maura that she had not succeeded. "It's going to be a long day."

Maura moved closer to Jane, judging the worn detective as she lightly touched her back. "Did he say anything? You know he is in sync with his father, sometimes whether he chooses to be or not."

Jane snorted slightly. "Yeah, he said not to try so hard. Let him find me."

Duncan McFadden whistled as he walked the streets of Boston. The wind wasn't as strong, the air not as cold. The sun was actually shining down on him as if to welcome him by warming him. It felt good to be free; good to be alive. The people he passed as he walked all seemed to have their own agendas.

Jane hadn't come home last night and Duncan was disappointed to say the least. He didn't exactly expect her to though as she was working tirelessly to find a monster. He smiled as he looked up at the precinct before him as he stood on the sidewalk. Jane was so very good at what she did, but he was better. He had made a mistake and she capitalized last time. It was sure rookie luck, but now even with experience as her backup, she would not beat him again.

Duncan smiled at the ladies he encountered wondering if he shouldn't break plan and continue to add to his list of conquests. Surely that would upset Jane even further, maybe even enough to be careless and make the one mistake he was waiting for her to make. "Soon enough, you will be begging for me to finish you." Duncan glanced back quickly as he picked up his pace. The officers entering the precinct were so unassuming and it only made his heart jump as he counted down in his head.

The exploding sounds were like music to his ears and the screams that followed only made him want to sing along. He so hoped Detective Rizzoli would make it to safety as her safe haven came crashing down around her. He hoped like hell she wasn't hurt for that wasn't his intention. His intention was to finish her, but when the time was right. He called the shots, he made the decisions. He would decide when Jane Rizzoli would pay the ultimate price for making him live in hell for all those years.

Duncan McFadden closed his eyes as he walked unnoticed along the crowded Boston streets. He could almost feel Jane's fear right about now and that would have to do until he was ready for her. He would have to imagine her shaking under him like he had done for so many years. That was enough for him…for now.

A/N: For those of you interested in a slightly different read, check out "A Loving Vengeful Heart". I am currently co-writing that story with Honorcpt and it holds a special place for the both of us. Would love to hear your thoughts on what has proven to be a very difficult story to tell. Thank you Honorcpt, for the constant support and encouragement and the opportunity to write alongside you.


	18. Chapter 18

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 18

I don't own R and I.

Jane tightened her grip on the sink as she began to feel off balance. She closed her eyes in a desperate effort to steady herself, wondering briefly if her body was giving out for good this time. It was when she heard the loud sounds of an explosion and the terrifying screams that followed that Jane relied solely on instinct. It was not her body giving out on her, it was her world collasping around her instead.

"Maura!" Jane turned in time to see the ceiling begin to give way as parts of heavy building material fell to the floor around the two women. Jane reached for Maura in an attempt to sheild her, protect her despite her own safety being at risk. It was automatic, reflexive. It was Maura. The floor met them quickly as Jane shifted immediately hoping the full weight of her body slamming down onto Maura's didn't injure the smaller woman. Jane's mind seemed to be on it's own, working separately from her body. She was seeing everything in slow motion while her body functioned on instinct, training and fear.

"Maura?" Jane studied the fear and confusion that filled Maura's eyes when she opened them. She could only wonder if Maura was seeing the same as she stared herself back at Jane. "Gotta move. We have to get out of here."

Jane watched as Maura lied her head back on the floor among the debris. "No, no Maura. Come on!"

"Can't breathe." Maura's voice was whispered as she was content on remaining right where she was.

Jane frantically got to her knees, searching Maura's body with her hands while keeping her eyes on the damaged ceiling above them. "Maura!" Jane worked against the panic that began to make it's way into her senses. It was when Maura opened her eyes again that Jane let her body feel even the slightest bit of relief.

Both realized that the impact of Jane falling on Maura, along with part of the precinct, had knocked the wind out of Maura. Jane's balance was definitely off now as she half pulled, half dragged Maura to her feet. The precinct was eerily quiet as they made their way to the door that would lead them out to the horror that Jane knew had McFadden's signature all over it.

Jane pulled her gun letting it lead them out into the destruction that was once her safe haven, her second home, her precinct. It was hard to see to far in front of them for the dust and Jane wondered if they should even attempt to navigate their way through. Jane was sure to keep a tight grip on Maura as they manuevered around the debris. "Maura, still with me?"

An answer wasn't expected or even necessary as Jane could feel Maura shaking as she kept close to her. Jane could feel the anger and the frustration brewing within her with each step she took. Her fingers wrapped around her weapon tightly despite knowing Duncan McFadden wouldn't be anywhere near this hell he created.

"Rizzoli!"

"Korsak. What the hell happened?" Jane's voice broke with each word she spoke. "Here, help me." Jane let Korsak wrap Maura in his arms as they made their way into the actual squad room where the damage was not much better. Frost made his way over to his partner who he could tell was all too close to losing it. He waited until Jane looked him in the eyes before reaching out to help steady her. Jane hadn't realized she was beginning to sway slightly on her feet.

"There's no doubt. This has McFadden written all over it." Jane's speech was deliberate as she spoke to no one in particular. "Enough! I've had enough!"

Korsak helped Maura into a chair as emergency medical personel began to assess the injured. He then took a few steps so that he was squared up with Jane, forcing her to look him in the eyes as he took her hands in his. "We will get him. You have got to stay in control."

"He's got all the control right now. All of it!" Jane was pissed and the emotion showed through the tone of her voice as well as her posture. "Look what he's capable of doing."

Jane narrowed her eyes as she slowly scanned the room before letting them fall onto Maura who was studying her carefully. The guilt that tore through her then was enough to make her drop to her knees so that she was level with Marua. "I wanted you to stay home where you were safe, protected. I can't protect you, Maura. Look!"

Maura waved off the paramedic who was approaching before returning her focus back to Jane. "What about you? Who's going to protect you?"

Jane stared at Maura as if she were speaking another language. Her words invaded and seemed to touch every part of her body. Jane slowly stood to her full height, never taking her eyes from Maura as she subconsciously adjusted her gun on her hip.

"Jane, please." Maura got to her feet as well. "You can't keep going like this. He will kill you!"

Silence surrounded the three detectives and Maura as the commotion in the room grew louder. The injured officers were taken out while others were treated on scene. Jane let her eyes scan the room again; she took in the fear, the frustration and the anger that mirrored her own emotions. She glanced at Frost, then at Korsak, but stared at Maura again. "I have to go."

Maura started after Jane only to be stopped by Korsak. "Let her go." He then motioned to Frost and the direction was clear. He was not to let Jane out of his sight. "She's just got to blow off some steam."

Maura returned to her chair at the direction of Korsak and yet another paramedic. She was fine, shaken, but fine. She allowed the medic to perform his duties while she took in the damage. McFadden could have destroyed the building entirely if he chose to. He could have killed them all if he had wanted to. His intentions were obvious and Maura knew that Jane was well aware of his intentions.

"Jane! Stop!" Frost had to jog to catch up to the quick pace Jane had taken out to the parking lot. She had made it to their car only to realize she had left the keys inside. Frost could only watch while Jane angrily pounded the roof of the car with her hands continously while cursing McFadden. After a few rounds, Frost had decided to brave the heat and approach Jane, carefully taking hold of her arms to stop her movements. "This is what he wants, Jane."

"He wants me crazy? He wants me to lose my mind? He wants me to flip out and...make a mistake." Jane put the whole scene into perspective and the defeat in her voice aknowledged McFadden was winning. "Why not just kill me? If he can do all this, surely he can get to me and just kill me."

Frost wiped his face with his hand while Rizzoli slid down the car until she was sitting on the ground. "Too easy. He likes the challenge. He likes the challenge of you." Frost sat down next to her, letting the realization settle.

The two listened to the sounds of sirens, the rushed voices of the firemen and the wordless conversation they seemed to be having. Frost repeatedly waved off the emergency help as they approached, letting Jane take the time she needed to cool down, regroup and recharge. He wondered what their next move would be. The object was still the same. Find McFadden before he finds Jane. He knew where Jane was. He seemed to know where she was at all times. They had to find McFadden before he killed Jane.

"I need to go home. I really need to shower and change and regroup. I can't deal with this right now." Jane waved her hand towards the building before looking at Frost directly.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Barry stood, offering his hand to Jane who accepted it before allowing him to help her to her feet.

"Maybe even catch a nap." Jane used both hands to pull her hair back away from her face. "I'm so friggin exhausted. Could you make sure Maura gets home safe?"

"Korsak can do that. I'm going with you." Frost pulled out his phone, motioning for Jane to sit tight while he called Korsak.

"What are you going to do? Watch me sleep?" Jane was beyond frustrated.

"I'll tell you what. I'll watch the door while you sleep. How's that?" Frost didn't wait for a response as he turned to talk to Korsak. Jane shook her head at Frost's tone hating the fact that she needed a babysitter. McFadden had gotten to them all and she knew the importance of not being alone right now. She knew Frost was only doing what she would be doing if the situtation were reversed.

Jane was well aware of the fact that her statement and account of what happened would be needed before she would be relieved to head home. She let her thoughts be of Marua as she turned to make her way back into the building. Maybe she would just go home with her. Jane knew she would rest better knowing Maura was safe and seeing is believing. Although that didn't really work out to well for them as her belief that she could protect Maura had collasped around them less than an hour ago.

Maura was being escorted out of the building along with everyone else as the firemen made their way in. She stopped when she saw Jane approaching and waited for the weary detective to arrive in front of her. "Alright?" Even Jane's voice lacked energy and Maura was quick to respond.

"I'm fine, Jane, but you. You have to get some sleep." Maura waited for Jane's response as the look in her eyes showed she knew what Maura was going to suggest.

"I will. Okay? I'm going to go home for a while, you know, shower, change, sleep." Jane reached out for Maura's hand. "Go home, stay safe okay? Please."

"Jane, come with me. It's not safe for you to be alone." Maura sounded desperate, but she didn't care as she pleaded with Jane.

"It's not safe for me to be around you." Jane motioned to the damaged building behind them. "Frost is coming with and I'm sure Cavenaugh will put uniforms on my door."

Maura only shook her head, refusing to let go of Jane's hand as Jane tried to pull away. "What if he finds you there?"

"Maura, he knows where I am. He knew I was here. He didn't want to kill me or anybody else." Jane looked around until she was able to grab a fireman as he approached the building. "Death count, yet?"

"As far as I know, no known fatalities so far." Jane dismissed the young man as he hurried into the building.

"See, he knows what he's doing. The problem is I don't know what he's doing. I know what he wants and I know there are no limits to what he'll do. His rules. His game. His plan." Jane's voice trailed off as her eyes stayed locked with Maura's. "I just need to sleep in my own bed, change clothes, fix my head."

"What if he finds you there?" Jane couldn't help but respond to the fear she saw in Maura's eyes as she spoke to her.

"Then I will kill him first. One way or the other, Maura, I will end this." Jane forced her voice to sound strong, determined as she knew Maura was worried. She nodded to the officer who was given the responsibility to get Maura home safely to her heavily guarded home. She then watched as Maura reluctantly walked away, refusing to look back at Jane as she did.

Duncan McFadden could see the officers as they reported to Jane's apartment building. He laughed quietly to himself as he was careful not to be seen through her bedroom window. "Always one step ahead my love." It would soon be over as even McFadden was tiring of the cat and mouse game that had stimulated him for quite some time now. He smoothed out the blanket on Jane's bed before letting his body relax where she slept. He had spent the last few hours just roaming her home, taking in who she really was. Tough Boston detective or soft feminin creature. McFadden decided she was a perfect mixture of both as he listened to the quiet that was her home.

Jane Rizzoli answered each question from each member of IAB as they often repeated themselves. She worked to keep her composure as she was sure none of what she could offer them would help in the search of the animal that was relentless in his torment of her. The animal that had just upped the ante if that was even possible at this point. The air was cold as no one seemed to care that Jane wanted nothing more than to snuggle down under the covers of her bed and let sleep consume her. Surely McFadden would afford her at least a little rest. He wanted a formidable opponent she guessed, one that would defininately be up to the challenge of taking him on. Or he didn't . He wanted her wounded, reeling. He would get her and her condition in her mind was irrelevent. She would kill him to stop him. That much she knew for sure.

McFadden lied on his back studying the knife he held up over his head. It was beautiful, sharp, clean, shiny, perfect. It fit his hand perfectly and he wondered if Jane Rizzoli felt the same way about her gun. Surely she would use her gun if given the opportunity. She didn't seem like the kind to draw anything out, especially not now that he had pushed her even further than what was maybe his intent. He would have to wait to see if she was injured at all in his little attack on her home, on her family, on her world. He hoped she was okay. He knew she wasn't okay, he hoped she hadn't been injured. He wanted her to fight him, he needed her to resist him. He needed her to lose. It really was that simple and then it would be game over. Duncan McFadden simply didn't lose, despite the fact that Jane Rizzoli managed to beat him...once.

Jane slowly lowered herself into the passenger side of their cruiser as Frost slid in behind the wheel. She pulled her gun from her holster, examining it, checking it and just simply holding it. She would have no problems firing on McFadden. She was not interested in arresting him, caging him. She was only interested in killing him and that thought was enough for her to revisit her desire to continue in her chosen profession. It would be so fitting to end her career with the same criminal, animal, phycopath she began it with.

"Okay, over there?" Frost's voice barely registered amongst the loud, angry thoughts that were swimming in Jane's head. She shook her head slightly as she forced herself to think about when her body didn't hurt. When her mind wasn't reeling. When her nerves weren't shot. She was hard pressed to remember a time that seemed worth all the pain, frustration and agony her job had caused her.

Jane slammed her eyes shut as the faces of McFadden's victims past and present played like a movie in her head. She could see the fear in the little girls eyes that had survived only to be scarred for life. She could only imagine the fear that consumed the women who did not survive McFadden's wrath. She didn't have to imagine the pain all of them must have felt as simply recalling her own attack was painful enough. Jane knew McFadden would continue to torment her until she either stopped him or he killed her. She prayed her would come for her before she physically, mentally and emotionally was finsihed. She hoped he would wait until after her nap for all she wanted was to let her body rest; just rest, just for a little while.


	19. Chapter 19

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 19

I don't own R and I.

Dr. Maura Isles had finally managed to fall into a comfortable routine. She continued in her role as chief medical examiner and she continued to work closely with the members of the Boston PD. Her visits to the homicide squad room were only when it was deemed necessary. When she had information for the detectives that was pertinent to a case or a particular victim. She took comfort in the few familiar faces that remained as it had been a long year with many changes. The precinct had been repaired, even rebuilt in some areas. It had a different feel; a different look. The Boston Homicide Unit had new detectives now that were not as familiar with Dr. Isles and the manner in which she worked. Such a fact was irrelevent to Maura as she was the ultimate professional. She was not there to make friends. She had no desire to get close or care for these detectives on any level other than what the job called for. They were all professionals and the atmosphere in the new precinct was all business.

Detective Vince Korsak struggled with his decision. Early retirement may not have been his desired decision, but given the circumstances he knew his head and heart would no longer serve him well in his chosen profession. It had been a long year as Vince worked to put what ended up being his last year on the job into perspective. Early morning fishing trips and late night drinking were doing nothing to justify his need to be away; stay away from the Boston area. He felt he had no business there, not any longer as he collected his pension and wasted his days. Such a long career with so many ups and downs. No, he wasn't necessarily ready to retire, but he knew he had no business wearing the badge any longer. He had no desire to experience the hell that came with working homicide any longer. He spent his days alone and for now that suited Vince Korsak just fine.

Frankie Rizzoli never had much of a desire to join his father in the family business. Sure he was good at what he was doing now, making a living for himself and his family he hoped to one day have. He would do his father proud despite how he felt empty inside. He no longer had a desire to be a police officer; a detective. In his short time of service, he watched so many lives be destroyed by the very thing he vowed to fight against every day. He wasn't afraid to fight the winless war on crime, he just had no weapons; not anymore. His heart stopped a year ago and it was all he could do to smile through his day now. His heart was no longer invested in the police department and therefore he had no business being an officer. He resigned as professionally as he could. After all he carried the Rizzoli name and the name alone deserved the utmost professionalism.

Dylan McFadden had settled in comfortably. He would never see life outside of prison and he accepted his life as it was. He could assign blame to his father, however he was smart enough to know his accomodations wouldn't change. He was responsible for taking a life, the fact it was part of his father's gameplan was irrelevent. His name earned him some noteriety, some privledges. Duncan McFadden had seemed to make himself a name within the prison system and now Dylan was benefitting from simply being related.

One year ago...

Jane pulled her gun and reholstered it twice in the short walk to her apartment building. Frost watched her closely, wondering if and when he should comment on how distracted she appeared. He thought better of saying anything as he reminded himself that Jane Rizzoli was anything but distracted. She knew McFadden was out there and she knew he was gunning for her. Barry had learned his partner well enough to know despite the severe fatigue, Jane's head was very much in the game. He stopped to check in with the uniforms that had arrived shortly before they did. Jane nodded but didn't stop as she made her way towards her apartment. Frost hurried to catch up with his partner. She was fast normally, but tonight she had an agenda. He couldn't blame her; it looked like she had only minutes left before succumbing to her exhaustion.

Jane unlocked her door and entered, her hand resting on her gun. She had no specific reason to be cautious, just the general fact that she was supposed to be McFadden's final conquest. According to his plan; a plan he telegraphed from the beginning. Frost stepped in behind her, moving slightly so that Jane could lock the door behind them. He let his eyes scan the apartment, taking in the fact that Jane obviously had not been home in quite a few days.

Frost smiled at Jane as he made his way towards the kitchen area. He could smell the distint scent of men's cologne and it was when Jane smelled it herself that she realized why Frost was smiling the way he was. "What are you wearing?"

"No, no. That's not me." Frost studied the confused look on his partner's face. "Did somebody have a guest recently and forget to tell me? Everybody knows that partners tell partners everything."

"Partners don't tell partners everything and no, I did not have a guest...recently." Jane wanted to laugh at the way Barry's eyebrows moved with her words, but they were both alerted to a small noise coming from the bedroom.

"No!" Barry pointed at Jane as he drew his gun and headed towards the bedroom. Jane ignored his warning, pulling her own weapon before covering the distance to her bedroom with only a few strides.

The sound of gunfire immediately caused Jane to lower herself only to see Frost do the same in front of her. It took only a second for Jane to realize that Frost had been hit and fired blindly into her bedroom. The return fire caused Jane to pull back away from Frost and quickly take a defensive position around the corner. "McFadden!"

Duncan McFadden knelt down with his gun at Frost's head. "Oh, Jane. Is that you? Been waiting for hours for you to come home."

"McFadden! I'm here. It's me you want. Please, let me help my partner." Jane's voice wavered and cracked as she spoke.

"I love to experience deja vu. Don't you Jane. I remember your partner was shot years ago when we met like this." Duncan laughed as he intentionally moved Frost so that he would cry out.

"Fuck!" Jane growled as she tried to see around the corner without exposing herself. She willed her heart to slow down and gripped her gun even tighter.

"I need the gun, Jane. You know how this works." Duncan was in total control and everybody in the apartment knew it. "Slide it towards me and maybe I'll let you help your poor partner."

Jane knew Barry only had so much time and every second she debated on whether to give up her weapon was costing him. Surely the gunshots were heard throughout the building and back up was on the way up. Maybe if she held on just a few more seconds...

"Jane!" Frost screamed out in pain as McFadden applied pressure to his wound hoping to force Rizzoli's hand. It was enough as Duncan McFadden easily reached for and grabbed Jane's gun.

"Come here love." McFadden's voice was low and controlled and Jane felt she had no choice but to respond to his direction. Jane's eyes locked on McFadden's and suddenly she was years ago; young, inexperienced, green. "I'm so sorry, but you're partner was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"You said you'd let me help him." Jane forced herself to stand straight, forced her voice to sound strong.

"I said maybe." Duncan eyed Jane letting his eyes stop at her waist. "Detective Frost here is what you all call...collateral damage. Kind of like that FBI agent."

Jane's eyes dropped to Barry's as the amount of pain that showed in his features caused her to hurt as well. "Please let me help him."

"I love to hear women beg, but not you Rizzoli. I want you to fight, not beg." McFadden stood causing Jane to follow him with her eyes. He lowered her gun then and without looking fired a single round. Jane closed her eyes refusing to look. The sirens grew louder and the commotion ouside her apartment door caused McFadden to then move toward Jane.

McFadden stepped around Jane who had fallen into a numbing trance at the sound of her gun going off. He closed her bedroom door and pulled the dresser in front of it. "Gotta buy me just a little time. By the looks of you, this shouldn't take long."

Jane knelt down, letting her hands rest on either side of Barry's head. It was obvious that McFadden was a perfect shot and Jane knew she didn't stand a chance. Duncan McFadden would win this round and there would be nothing she could do about it. "You didn't have to kill him." Jane's words were clipped as she refused to look up and away from her partner.

"Probably not." McFadden placed his knife at Jane's throat then and together they listened to the sound of officers yelling and busting through her front door. He effortlessly pulled her so that she was under him within seconds. The disappointed look on his face caused Jane to question him with her eyes.

"Not going to even try?" McFadden let his knife cut into her skin under her left ear while he worked to free her shirt from her pants. "And there it is." The smile that covered McFadden's face then was just what Jane needed as she forced herself up so that her head collided with his. Jane hoped it would be the move that would stall long enough for help as she now heard them ouside her bedroom door.

McFadden hollered out in pain, as he used his body to prevent Jane from moving too far from his grasp. He looked up at the door before lowering his face so that he was nearly nose to nose with Jane. "Game over, Love. I win this time."

"Jane!" Jane knew that voice, so familiar. She knew that sound, so familiar as well. Gunfire erupted into the room and the sudden weight of Duncan McFadden crashing down onto her let Jane know it was indeed over.

Jane's breathing was restricted until she felt the dead weight being removed only seconds later. "Jane! Fuck! I need help!"

Jane smiled up at her brother. He looked worried, panicked. "Did you get him?"

"Yeah, we got him." Frankie's hands were tight around Jane's neck. "Come on!"

"No, Frankie. Did you get him?" Jane's voice was barely a whisper as she stared into her brother's eyes.

"Yeah, Jane. I got him. He's dead." Frankie moved slightly to allow the paramedics access to his sister. "You hang on for me, Jane. Please, hang on for me."

Jane stared at her brother as the tears streamed down his face. It had been so long since she had seen her younger brother cry. He was just a kid then and she refused to let him tag along with her and her friends. They made fun of him for crying and Jane felt like she should apologize to him for that. He just wanted to be with her. He just wanted to be like her.

"I'm sorry, Frankie. Don't cry, okay. They'll make fun of you." Jane smiled only causing Frankie to cry harder. The blood was escaping through Frankie's fingers as he refused to let go despite the urging from the medical team.

"Rizzoli!" Korsak's firm voice caused both Frankie and Jane to look up. "Let go."

Frankie followed his order, but refused to leave from Jane's line of sight. "You can do this, okay, Jane. You can beat this. Hang on please, just hang on." Frankie's words trailed off as Jane's eyes closed.

The paramedics stopped their movements, realizing their fight had ended. Frankie looked at each of them before screaming for them to help her. To help his sister. Korsak had to physically restrain the younger Rizzoli as he charged each paramedic. It was when he fell to his knees that Vince allowed him to reach out for his sister. He let his fingers fall onto her neck before he layed his head on her chest. He didn't care that her blood was running down into his hair. He didn't care that her blood mixed with his tears meant that McFadden had won. He wished everyone would be quiet. Surely her heart was still beating, if only everybody would be quiet. Please be quiet, just for a few seconds so that he could hear his sister's heartbeat.

"Rizzoli...it's over."


	20. Chapter 20

To Hell and Only Halfway Back Chapter 20

I don't own Rand I.

**A/N: I've gotten some serious heat over the last chapter...I put it out there, therefore I get what I get. I respect and welcome the reviews...good and bad. Writers write what they write for a reason and that reason remains mine. Thanks to those that are giving me a chance. Nobody wants Jane to die, especially me. However life does suck sometimes...sometimes it sucks bad, but then there's a light, some hope...some more story...**

Frankie barely heard the commotion behind him as he clung to his sister while she lay still beneathe him. He was trying in vain to hear something, anything to prove that they were wrong. That they were all wrong. Holding his breath, Frankie continuously moved his head in an effort to pick up Jane's heartbeat. There's no way she could be gone. He refused to accept what even Korsak seemed to.

Frankie's eyes fell onto Frost, who was being officially pronounced and covered. Immediate guilt consumed Frankie as he realized he had never even seen that Frost was in the room. His attention was on stopping McFadden from killing his sister. He was seconds too late it seemed as he let his eyes drift to the body of Duncan McFadden. Anger was all Frankie could see as his vision blurred. He wanted to stand, walk over to McFadden and stomp the hell out of him. Didn't matter that his bullet, perfectly placed in McFadden's forehead, made his desires unnecessary.

"Come on, kid." Korsak's tone was a bit milder as he gently pulled on Frankie's shoulder. Frankie looked up before returning his eyes to his sister's face, silently pleading with her to open her eyes. She looked to be sleeping, he had to turn away from the peaceful expression that covered Jane's face.

Frankie began to get to his feet but suddenly jerked his head back towards Jane. He could've swore she squeezed his hand, but her body remained still. He knelt back down and moved his face within inches of her. "Jane?" The paramedics that had backed away from Jane were quickly closing in now at the sound of Frankie's pleading tone.

He was sure now as Jane's fingers tightened around his own. Frankie was sure his sister was still with him. "Help her!" This time Frankie moved away begging the medics to help her. Korsak approached at the rushed movements of the medical team. He tried to make sense of their frantic calls into their radios while Frankie began to pace. His expression showed the fear, hope and desperation that he tried to control with his steps.

Korsak and Frankie Rizzoli were both shoved aside as Detective Jane Rizzoli was loaded onto a stretcher and quickly removed from her apartment. Nobody could give an answer as to how she was still breathing, but she indeed was. Frankie tried to follow Jane but was stopped before he could leave the apartment as well. He was needed on scene. He had statements to give and business to attend to.

It was no surprise when Dr. Maura Isles hurried into Jane's apartment. She couldn't be expected to be there in a professional capacity, but she functioned as if so. She quickly made her way over to Jane's partner, pulled the sheet back and instantly turned her head. She had been filled in on what had transpired, but seeing for herself gave the facts a whole different shade of tragic. She was kept out of the apartment until Jane was removed, everybody including her, knew that to be intentional. Maura worked professionally, despite the haze that threatened her very being. Jane wasn't okay, she was barely breathing. That was the update she received when she demanded one.

Maura made her way over to Duncan McFadden. Jane was right when she described his movie star good looks. Maura couldn't decide if it helped to see the man that had tormented Jane, caused her such grief and finally got her. She knew McFadden had gotten to Jane, and now she knew he had gotten her. She pronounced him officially and turned to look at Jane's younger brother. Jane was so proud of Frankie, despite the fact that she pushed him; challenged him.

"Do you think she'll make it?" Frankie trusted Maura wouldn't lie to him.

"I don't know." the soft tone of Maura's voice told Frankie she really didn't. He watched as her eyes fell onto the covered form of Jane's partner.

"I was too late. We were too late. He got in somehow. Nobody knew he was in here. I heard the shots. I tried...I tried...I couldn't..." Maura held Jane's younger brother while he cried. She could feel how scared he was as he sobbed against her. Maura wanted nothing more than to get to the hospital, but she refused to leave Frankie. Jane would want her there with him, she knew that and so did he.

Maura watched as Jane's family members and members of the Boston Police Department made their way into the hospital's emergency room. She hung back and observed, wondering where all these officers were when McFadden was making himself at home in Jane's apartment. They were at the precinct working the bombing. They were at the precinct following up leads prior to the bombing. They were everywhere but where McFadden was. How could he have known Jane would return to her apartment when she did. Jane had protection on her door, but they arrived after McFadden and the results were nearly as he had planned. Maura could only wonder if he had planned to die, but figured he wasn't opposed to it so long as Jane went with him.

"Family of Jane Rizzoli." Maura watched as the young doctor summoned Jane's immediate family. She knew she could approach and nobody would protest her prescence. She also knew that she would understand what wasn't being said. She knew how these doctors often gave information that would leave the family hopeful despite the reality of the situation. Maura had the facts. She was told what had transpired and she truly doubted Jane would survive.

Maura instead hung back and studied the doctor. His head was kept level so that his eyes remained locked on the family member of his choice. Maura smiled to herself as she realized his eyes fixed in on Angela's. Always the victim's mother; always. If the news wasn't at least somewhat hopeful, the doctor would've chosen the male family member to focus on knowing he would then support the mother. Angela cried. She would've cried either way.

Frankie reached for his mother, his white undershirt showing what he had just been through. What Jane had just been through. The pace in which the doctor walked from the family made Maura's heart jump just a bit. He had to get back to his patient. Jane still needed him and that could only be a good sign. Frankie caught Maura's eyes as she tried to avoid his. The transfer of information was clear despite the tears that clouded both of their vision. Jane's chances were good. The next twenty-four hours were crucial. Of course, they were. The next twenty-four seconds were critical and so forth and so on. Maura took the step towards Jane's mother then and saw the relief cross Frankie's face as she took Jane's mom in her arms.

It was hours before anyone was even updated on Jane's status. Many of Jane's colleagues had left, all of Jane's family and close friends had stayed. The lighting in the waiting room was dim, yet Maura doubted anybody that was left had any intention of sleeping. Not until they knew for sure that Jane would pull through. Maura could only watch as Frankie worked to calm himself after exploding on hospital staff about the televisions that continously showed pictures of the damaged precinct while they reported the same news over and over. He lost it when Jane's police file photo from years ago was on screen next to the inmate photo of Duncan McFadden. It had taken Jane's other brother, Tommy and her father to help Frankie regain control of his emotions. Once again, Maura waited while the doctor met with Angela and the rest of Jane's family. It was when Angela smiled that Maura got to her feet.

"Dr Isles?" the young doctor wasn't sure exactly who he was looking for despite being very familiar with the name.

"I'm Dr. Isles." Maura's legs felt weak as she willed herself to make her way toward the group.

"Ms. Rizzoli has asked for you." Maura stared at Jane's doctor as he shook hands with Jane's brothers and father. "She has asked to see you."

Maura closed her eyes for a second before looking up at Angela. The slight nod from the older woman encouraged Maura to follow the doctor to where Jane had been settled. "What is her prognosis?" Maura stopped the doctor from opening the door.

"It's good. Condition is still critical, but it looks like she will make a full recovery." Maura took in his words slowly. "She's not supposed to move too much or even speak right now, but she did manage to ask for you. High doses of morphine will have her out of it for awhile, but my guess is she'll know you're here."

"Thank you, Doctor." Maura didn't bother to even try to smile as she stepped through the doorway. Her knees did finally buckle as her body admitted for her how unprepared she was to see Jane. It was then that Maura realized the doctor hadn't left as she felt his hands on her arms. "Thank you."

Maura moved closer to Jane's side, her eyes shifting from the heavily bandaged wound on her neck to the still expression on her face. Maura took in the way Jane's hand was resting on her chest in what seemed to be an awkward position. She watched as every few seconds Jane moved it slightly to the right or left. It was clear to Maura then what Jane was doing. She needed to feel her own heartbeat, moving her hand when she would lose the sensation of it. Maura watched until Jane's movements were quicker and more often. She could sense the panic as Jane's expression began to show pain and fear.

"Jane." Maura placed her own hand over Jane's, pushing lightly so that Jane could better feel her heart beat. Jane's movements immediately stopped as Jane slowly opened her eyes. Her brief, slight smile caused the tears to start streaming down Maura's face. She cried silently as it was an obvious struggle for Jane to keep her eyes open for any amount of time.

Jane recognized Maura's voice instantly. She instantly felt relief knowing that she was there. It was when Jane wrapped her fingers around her hand that Maura realized just how weak Jane really was.

"Did he?" Jane forced her eyes open again, narrowing them when she saw Maura's tears.

"McFadden is dead, Jane."

Jane allowed the relief to consume her as a few tears escaped and slowly slid down the side of her face. "Frost?"

"No." Maura tightened her grip on Jane's hand then, knowing she already knew that Barry hadn't survived.

"Did he...finish?" Jane really was struggling to keep conscious and Maura remembered the doctor's warnings. It took a few seconds for Maura to realize what Jane needed to know.

"Doesn't matter, Jane. You're going to be okay." Maura didn't know if McFadden had finished marking Jane and at this very moment she didn't want to know.

"Please?" Jane's voice was filled with desperate pain and Maura didn't want to risk adding to it. There was a chance that McFadden didn't have time to finish and in some way that would provide Jane some relief.

Maura slowly let go of Jane's hand and proceeded to lift the sheet that was tightly wrapped around Jane's body. Jane flinched slightly at Maura's touch before relaxing while Maura pulled her gown away enough to inspect the area in question. "No, Jane. He didn't finish."

Jane relaxed with Maura's words and closed her eyes. It was only a matter of seconds before Jane's light breathing evened out. Maura gently lifted Jane's hand and placed it back onto her chest before leaving her friend to sleep. Maura wasn't ready to leave Jane alone just yet as she lowered herself down into the provided chair. Jane's strength had always amazed Maura and as she watched her friend sleep she wondered if Jane would walk away now. If she were strong enough to recover, would she be strong enough to resign. Maura knew it would take time for Jane to make such a decision, and she also knew that didn't really matter right now. All that mattered was that Jane survived Duncan McFadden once again and that now it was truly over.

One month later:

Jane carefully buttoned the top button of her shirt. She hated wearing the tie but it was part of the uniform and it was important to look presentable; formal. Barry's family had agreed, actually insisted that his funeral be put on hold until Jane was well enough to attend. It was important to them that she be there and they knew it was equally as important to her. She dreaded being amongst her brothers and sisters in blue today as they prepared to say goodbye to one of their own. She needed it though; needed to be surrounded by her peers, colleagues, and friends. Needed it as much as she dreaded it.

"You look great, Jane." Maura watched as her friend straightened her tie after finally tying it.

"Hate wearing blues...look like a man." Jane pulled her hair from the tight bun that would keep it all up under her hat. Her long dark hair easily covered her neck and shoulders and with that Jane began to breathe a bit easier. Jane stared at herself in the mirror before letting her eyes fall onto Maura just a few feet behind her. "I don't know if I can do this."

Maura took in the low, raw sound of Jane's voice. It was hard on all of them when they lost one of their own. It was especially hard on the partner. "You'll get through it."

Jane let her eyes rest on Maura's through the mirror. How this woman managed to steady her, comfort her and encourage her with a simple statement would always amaze her. She then put her hat on without pulling her hair up, taking one last look to make sure her bandage was covered. She knew all eyes would be on her and that was fine, but she didn't want McFadden to get any more recognition for his handiwork.

Jane took her place next to her brother in the front row. Standing room only otherwise in the small church where Detective Barry Frost would be honored and mourned. Frankie had refused to let Jane out of his sight for too long this past month. She hated the responsiblility she had become to him and has told him as much in a fit of frustration. Her guilt was overwhelming at best and helping her brother cope with all that he had been through was priority to her; despite him insisting on her health being most important.

The short walk from her seat to the front of the church where she would stand and speak in front of Barry's family, his friends and their peers seemed to take forever. The ground felt further away from her feet with every step and it wasn't surprising to feel her brother come up behind her and gently take her arm. He escorted her to the podium where she was to speak about her partner. Who he was to her, what he stood for and why they fought the fight without much hope of winning. Just staying in the game was a victory, not many would understand and even less would agree.

Jane had avoided Barry's official police photo that had been enlarged and sat at an angle just to her left. He looked handsome in his uniform, just a few years older than Frankie. Her eyes filled quickly when they did land on the photo and in an attempt to harden her heart she looked toward Maura. The sudden movement was just enough to pull Jane back to where she needed to be to get through her speech. She realized she had forgotten her notes that she knew she would need, for she wanted to honor Frost in the best way she could. Another look towards Maura and the panic that threatened subsided in favor of an unfamiliar calmness. She didn't need notes, she needed to find a way to overcome the guilt that was consuming her. Her partner was lying just a few feet from her, intentionally unseen due to the fatal injury he sustained. How would she ever get past the fact that Frost paid the ultimate price in McFadden's game of revenge against her.

Jane addressed the packed church with a voice very much unlike her own. It wasn't until she made eye contact with Barry's mother that she was able to speak in full sentences. The pride that woman had for her son and who he was told Jane nobody blamed her. A quick glance towards Maura and a lingering one to Frankie and Jane began again.

A year later:

Jane paced the length of her apartment awaiting Maura's arrival. Maura had asked Jane to take a necessary leave of absence before making a final decision on her career. She needed the time, the therapy, the break to decide if she wanted to continue fighting the seemingly winless war. She was entitled to the time, and decided to indeed take it. Things would never be the same should she return, but then nothing ever stays the same. The only constant is change, where had she heard that before.

Maura was anxious about what Jane had decided as she missed the Jane Rizzoli she had grown to love and admire. Missing was the spark, the heat, the intensity that defined the self-assured detective. There was no denying Jane had been to hell and back. There was no denying they had all gone there with her.

The sound of the doorbell startled an expecting Jane as she took a deep breath. Why she was so nervous she couldn't say, but she was and she was certain Maura would be able to tell. The smile that appeared instantly when she opened the door was in no way misunderstood. It had been a long year and she couldn't have known how she would miss Korsak.

He handed her a bottle of wine. "What's the occasion?" Jane couldn't hide the surprise in her voice.

"No occasion. Just don't like wine." Korsak knew Jane would take every day of her approved leave to make the most important decision of her life up until now. He knew her time was up and he had always been there for her as her mentor in the past. Today he would be here for her as her friend.

Maura walked up behind Vince, not at all surprised to see him. "I like wine." She took the bottle leaving the former partners a few more moments alone. It was when Jane closed the door and faced her friends that she realized just how much they had all been through in this last year, let alone their careers.

"Where have you been, Vince?" Jane's voice softened as she spoke with genuine concern for her colleague, her partner, her friend.

"Retired." Korsak hadn't changed much and didn't seem to regret his decision to walk away. His career had taken it's toll on him and all that he had experienced showed through his eyes. "What about you? What have you decided to do. You're still young yet, Jane?"

Jane glanced at Maura before letting her eyes fall to the floor. "I wonder why I chose homicide all those years ago. There's no hope for the victim, only justice. If I can get it for them, that is."

"And more times than not you do just that." Korsak watched as Jane struggled with her train of thought.

"How is it even possible when the ally is the enemy?" Jane's voice was full of frustraion. "I was so focused on McFadden that I overlooked Brady. I didn't stand a chance, we didn't stand a chance when one of our own was playing against us."

Jane had given up any hope of returning when she learned of Agent Brady's involvement with McFadden. She knew she would struggle to trust even her own team and found herself questioning her own instincts. She butted heads with Brady from the minute he stepped foot into her precinct.

Maura shifted in her seat as Jane began to pace again. Jane was angry and it was a good sign. The fire that fueled her was burning and even Korsak seemed to notice. "Frankie gave up his career and I can't say I blame him." Jane stopped pacing long enough to ask Maura with her eyes why Frankie wasn't with her.

"He's working late tonight." Maura was quick with her answer hoping Jane bought it. Frankie didn't want to hear his sister announce the end of her career. He knew she would die inside when she decided it was over. The job defined her whether she was willing to admit it or not.

"Yeah, plumbing." Jane knew her father's business and how the emergency calls often called him from the dinner table. Jane didn't buy Frankie's excuse knowing his heart wasn't invested in the family business. "He's not a plumber."

"He was a detective. Looking forward to his fight, his career." Vince's words seemed to pull Jane from her thoughts.

"He gave it up. I don't blame him. The kid has seen too much already." Jane caught the glance Maura shot at Korsak as she spoke. "What?"

"Jane, he asked for and received an extension on his leave of abscense. He hasn't made a decision yet." Korsak watched as Jane heard what was being said.

"What is he waiting for?" Jane was confused until she read Maura's eyes. "He's waiting on me to decide."

"You are the job, Jane. So is your brother." Korsak took a swig of Maura's wine, making a face before he decided he needed another taste. Jane slowly lowered herself down into the chair directly across from Maura. She dropped her head into her hands.

After several minutes, Jane looked up, meeting Maura's eyes instantly. "Where is he?"

"At the Dirty Robber." Maura recognized the look in Jane's eyes. She feared for her brother. She worried she would be the one having to save him. She was scared to death she would have to be the one to break the news to their mother that Frankie was injured on the job or worse. She also knew of the fire that fueled them both. It was hard to look at Frankie this past year without feeling how lost he was. She was just as lost and Maura confirmed that without saying on many occasions.

"Maybe I just get out of homicide?" Jane looked to Korsak who simply shrugged. He looked more interested in the wine, but Jane knew he was hearing her. The silence was almost deafening as Maura and Vince anxiously awaited Jane's decision.

Jane stood and made her way to the door. "Anybody up for the Robber? It's time Detective Rizzoli got back to work."Maura didn't bother asking which one as Jane's smile answered all questions. Jane had been to hell and back, she had fought the devil and survived. She and Frankie both had defeated McFadden but ultimately the victory would be his if they resigned.

Jane sighed as she could see herself as she'd been well over a decade ago. She was so brand new, just out of the academy and ready to make a difference. She was green as spring, proud of her badge, prouder of her gun. She would make a difference, that was a promise she had made...back then.

She was a cop then and still now. Never had any hesitation over what she was meant to be, what she had to be. It was in her, somehow she had always known. The fact that her little brother wanted to follow in her footsteps scared her. It scared her enough to risk killing his dreams. She would never do that to him. She loved him too much.

The End.

**A/N: Hopefully I redeemed myself some? Maybe? A little? Don't hold back, let me have it! **


End file.
